The Truth Hurts...

[PrinceoN]

Does it really? Does the truth really hurt, or does it only hurt because people sugar coat things, and then the real truth comes out and it's not what you really expected?

When we sugar coat things, or just tell flat out lies, do we make the truth worse, and therefore make it hurt? Or does the truth always hurt period, and thats why sugarcoating is necessary?

Is it better for someone to live with a lie, or die because they knew the truth?

 

[Asciotes]

If they live with a lie, they'll die happy, but if they live with the truth they'll die satisfied.

 

[Sassafrass]

I wouldn't say it's better to lie as sometimes a lie may snowball into bigger lies and when it's found out, it may hurt more.
However, telling the truth also hurts some people, so it's a finely balanced thing.

But overall, telling the truth is better.

 

[PrinceoN]

If they live with a lie, they'll die happy, but if they live with the truth they'll die satisfied.

wow, that was...deep o.o

 

[Kuchinawa212]

If I was going to hand you a dog turd would you want sprinkles on it? No. So when a doctor has to say "You has cancer, you are going to die" There is no need to sugar coat it. And if your wife of 20 years admits to stealing from you to pay child support to a guy she had an affair with before she met you. It might sting that you were never told

Truth hurts. But the Truth will set you free.

 

[Inverse Skies]

It's all about context. Usually the truth is better. Sometimes it isn't. For the majority I would encourage to tell the truth in as many situations as possible, but sometimes it's necessary to lie because the truth would hurt too much. It's a fine line, but there's always a right and wrong way to go about things, and usually all you can do is use your best judgement.

 

[grimsprice]

If they live with a lie, they'll die happy, but if they live with the truth they'll die satisfied.

wow, that was...deep o.o

And its also basically the thread end post. I don't know how more succinct to put it.

 

[Timotei]

It's better to know the truth, because then you are aware of the situation and thus have some control over it.

 

[konkwastaken]

The truth hurts, but denial's what will kill you.

 

[ajb924]

I honestly think it is all the damn sugarcoating nowadays. There is nothing to sacred to sugarcoat, NOTHING. I'm in U.S History, and I want to go back and kill all of my grade school teachers for testing me on lies. If your going to teach us bullshit, don't expect us to listen any more.
Sometimes though, it's appropriate to sugarcoat. If a 3 year old's dad dies, your not going to say "He's going to be buried and his remains will be eaten by worms." you also wouldn't sit around and describe a murder to him. But for the most part, sugacoating is the problem

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Lies aren't fine because they stop people from helping you.
Suppose you just nearly had a heart attack, and you don't know your best friend is a doctor and you tell him you're fine. You die later, because he didn't help you. Two lies that result in a death, he doesn't tell you he's a doctor, you don't tell him you're injured.
(All of the above is for fictional examples only. None of it actually happened)

 

[Booze Zombie]

Truth never hurts for me, I just can't seem to lie about anything (serious).

 

[Khedive Rex]

The truth doesn't hurt, it's just not comfortable.

Something that really bugged me (and still does to an extent) is the degree to which people are emotionally dishonest with themselves. People don't know who they are as people and avoid delving into their subconcious or the emotional scars that motivate them the same way they avoid falling off steep cliffs. To me, this form of lying is far worse and results in more harm than any lie you could tell a stranger.

This is the scienario I love to bring up when people discuss lying. Consider for a moment:

Girl cooks her boyfriend dinner. She's very excited and really wants him to like it. She thinks she's an okay cook.

Boyfriend tastes it and concludes "Way too much salt babe."

Girl is cool to him the rest of the evening. When boyfried asks her why she's upset she says "I'm not upset."

Now, who lied and who told the truth in that situation? We can conclude that the guy spoke the honest truth when he said he didn't like the girl's cooking. Thats pretty simple and most people I show this too use it as an illustration for the perils of telling the truth and the nessecity of towing the line.

Theres also the girlfriend's statement. "I'm not upset." This is objectively a lie. Some people point out that lying in this fasion ensures that no progress can be made to alleviate her feelings of frustration. They use this as an illustration of the fact that lying prevents people from growing closer together and breeds distrust.

What I would like to emphasize is the reason the girl lied to the boy. It was because she didn't want to acknowledge that she was upset. Why not? Because in her own head she recognizes that being angry at him for not liking her food is silly. From a purely logical perspective, she shouldn't be upset. And so, she tells herself the lie that she's not upset so that she can continue the lie that she behaves purely rationally. This form of lying is subtler, but has none the less poisoned the rest of her evening and will cause her more harm throughout the rest of her life.

So, which of these injuries was the most sever? Telling the truth, telling a lie, or lying to yourself? All of them have the potential to hurt and all of them have the potential to be helpful but when they're matched at their worst, which one is the one to be avoided?

From my perspective, emotional dishonesty is the most sever crime in this example. Getting rid of it is painful, because the lies we tell ourselves are comfortable and allow us to deal with ourselves much more easily, but they also wound our interations with others. When you're completely honest with yourself, other people doing the same doesn't hurt. When you're completely honest with yourself you know when other people are lying to you about you. When your emotionally dishonest, the truth hurts and your unsure when people are lying to you.

Accpeting yourself for what you are is the quickest way to make your interactions less troubling. If more people did it topics like this wouldn't be necessary. So, before discussing the merits of telling the truth, I would highly advice discussing the merits of accepting the truth. It makes things easier. But it is very uncomfortable.

 

[000Ronald]

It's not a matter of which one hurts more, especially if they're both going to do damage; it's a matter of which is going to do less damage, in the long run. If a lie can make a person better, who's to say it's bad? Are you going to tell an eight year old dying from cancer that they aren't going to make it through the night? What if that was all they needed to get better, to believe it was possible?

It isn't a question of whether or not a person can grow as a person based on a lie, either; they can, and tend to do just that. I remember, around the age of twelve, asking dad why he told me there was a guy in a red suit that could shove himself down chimmneys: in his wisdom, my dad took me around, showing me all the good things people were doing, and asked me, "If by telling you something that may not be true, I can make it easier for you to understand something else, something fundamental, should I not because it may be a lie?"

How do you know something is a lie? How do you know it's not a matter of perception? You may think guy's screwed because he can't use his legs, but he's just glad to be alive. That guy would be OK, despite what you thought. Are you going to still tell him he's fucked, that his life is ruined, even though he insists that he's fine? Who's doing more damage then?

At the end of the day, the only thing you can do is what you think is best. I think that's the point, myself.

Apologies Abound

 

[Guitar Gamer]

depends, some folks are simple enough to not need the truth, others have a compulsion to know, like me................it's really weird, you know the truth might make you worse off than the lies but it is some how better, just to know that what you see is what you get.
with some: the truth is better than lies no matter what it does, to others, they just want the security of lies

The best way to hurt someone isn't to tell them a lie.
It's to tell them a truth.

It just depends on the truth.

like some jackoff somewhere said one time:
"the truth told with malicious intentions, is worse than any lie"