The way to achieve world domination

[thatotherguy2]

[HEADING=3]And now, Vanguard's Six-Step Plan to Conquer the Earth.[/HEADING]​

1) Found a religion. Doesn't really matter what the hell it's about, just as long as it all sounds good and fits together. Some people will believe in damn near anything these days. You'll need a deity of some sort to worship. For this example, we'll use the Hypnotoad as your religion's focus of devotion.

2) Start accumulating followers, especially people in positions of power and in the public eye. The more people, the better. It doesn't even matter if they're mentally stable, you'll be using most of them for cannon fodder anyway.

3) Establish churches/temples/covens/whathaveyou to your new faith. While your at it, write a book with all of your religion's doctrine. The more impressive and imposing the book's name, the better. It'll give it more clout if it sounds prestigious.

4) Appoint a figurehead for your religion, like your version of the Pope. Like your religion's book, your leader needs a prestigious title, like Supreme Hierophant of the Church of the Hypnotoad or some similar malarkey. Failing that make sure the religion gets some other kind of public face. Don't let it be some insufferable douche bag that no one really likes. That's where Scientology f*cked up when they picked Tom Cruise. The amateurs.

5) Raise an army and launch a "Holy Crusade" against all of the "unbelievers". You'll want to send in the "wingnuts" without any kind of practical use in first en masse to generally cause chaos. Send in the real solders later. It worked in the original Crusades, and it can work here. Use your textbook "convert of fall" technique to replenish your forces and widdle down the resistance. Watch out for the Middle East in this phase of the plan. The people there get really jumpy when the word "crusade" is thrown around and they may end up flying off the handle.

6) Abolish all governments and set up a theocratic dictatorship to rule the world. Make the religion the official religion of the state. Not believing is a capital offense.

Congratulations, you now rule the world.
All Glory to the Hypnotoad.​

THAT IS THE BEST ONE YET! go futurama reference

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

People over there, KILL THEY ASS.

 

[DarkLordofDevon]

Finland good sirs... Finland
Combined with the RAF

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War

I knew I loved the Fins for a reason. I never knew about that, fantastic.


As for the topic in hand, I am already in phase 2 of my world conquest. Even now, I am learning how to build an army of robots with which I will use to dominate mankind! Huzzah for Cybernetics Degrees.

 

[Blind0bserver]

People over there, KILL THEY ASS.

It's simple, it's elegant. I like it.

 

[seaofpain]

theres only one way and bring hitler back and call all the dictators together yes even neapolean amass a army so large the heavens trembile in there boots

 

[Volothos]

I'd call down the combine.

 

[RufusMcLaser]

1. Construct secret orbital fortress.
2. Hallucinogenic aphrodisiacs in all the major water supplies.
3. ???
4. World domination.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

[HEADING=3]And now, Vanguard's Six-Step Plan to Conquer the Earth.[/HEADING]​

1) Found a religion. Doesn't really matter what the hell it's about, just as long as it all sounds good and fits together. Some people will believe in damn near anything these days. You'll need a deity of some sort to worship. For this example, we'll use the Hypnotoad as your religion's focus of devotion.

2) Start accumulating followers, especially people in positions of power and in the public eye. The more people, the better. It doesn't even matter if they're mentally stable, you'll be using most of them for cannon fodder anyway.

3) Establish churches/temples/covens/whathaveyou to your new faith. While your at it, write a book with all of your religion's doctrine. The more impressive and imposing the book's name, the better. It'll give it more clout if it sounds prestigious.

4) Appoint a figurehead for your religion, like your version of the Pope. Like your religion's book, your leader needs a prestigious title, like Supreme Hierophant of the Church of the Hypnotoad or some similar malarkey. Failing that make sure the religion gets some other kind of public face. Don't let it be some insufferable douche bag that no one really likes. That's where Scientology f*cked up when they picked Tom Cruise. The amateurs.

5) Raise an army and launch a "Holy Crusade" against all of the "unbelievers". You'll want to send in the "wingnuts" without any kind of practical use in first en masse to generally cause chaos. Send in the real solders later. It worked in the original Crusades, and it can work here. Use your textbook "convert of fall" technique to replenish your forces and widdle down the resistance. Watch out for the Middle East in this phase of the plan. The people there get really jumpy when the word "crusade" is thrown around and they may end up flying off the handle.

6) Abolish all governments and set up a theocratic dictatorship to rule the world. Make the religion the official religion of the state. Not believing is a capital offense.

Congratulations, you now rule the world.
All Glory to the Hypnotoad.​

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD...

 

[samsprinkle]

The title sums it up how would you take over the world imagine anyway possible


Mine would be riding yoshi *( or as I refer to him in brawl the winged beast of doom) with a fatman from Fallout 3 and with an army of chainsaw guys from resident Evil 4

Just so you know, that bit about the Fatman isn't quite as unrealistic as it seems. Take a look at the inspiration for it [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett_(nuclear_device)].

i knew about these because of MGS3...lol

 

[samsprinkle]

[HEADING=3]And now, Vanguard's Six-Step Plan to Conquer the Earth.[/HEADING]​

1) Found a religion. Doesn't really matter what the hell it's about, just as long as it all sounds good and fits together. Some people will believe in damn near anything these days. You'll need a deity of some sort to worship. For this example, we'll use the Hypnotoad as your religion's focus of devotion.

2) Start accumulating followers, especially people in positions of power and in the public eye. The more people, the better. It doesn't even matter if they're mentally stable, you'll be using most of them for cannon fodder anyway.

3) Establish churches/temples/covens/whathaveyou to your new faith. While your at it, write a book with all of your religion's doctrine. The more impressive and imposing the book's name, the better. It'll give it more clout if it sounds prestigious.

4) Appoint a figurehead for your religion, like your version of the Pope. Like your religion's book, your leader needs a prestigious title, like Supreme Hierophant of the Church of the Hypnotoad or some similar malarkey. Failing that make sure the religion gets some other kind of public face. Don't let it be some insufferable douche bag that no one really likes. That's where Scientology f*cked up when they picked Tom Cruise. The amateurs.

5) Raise an army and launch a "Holy Crusade" against all of the "unbelievers". You'll want to send in the "wingnuts" without any kind of practical use in first en masse to generally cause chaos. Send in the real solders later. It worked in the original Crusades, and it can work here. Use your textbook "convert of fall" technique to replenish your forces and widdle down the resistance. Watch out for the Middle East in this phase of the plan. The people there get really jumpy when the word "crusade" is thrown around and they may end up flying off the handle.

6) Abolish all governments and set up a theocratic dictatorship to rule the world. Make the religion the official religion of the state. Not believing is a capital offense.

Congratulations, you now rule the world.
All Glory to the Hypnotoad.​

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD...

Hail our Hypnotoad overlords!(i mean it's no more farfetched than the bible)

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

[/quote]Hail our Hypnotoad overlords!(i mean it's no more farfetched than the bible)[/quote]
It's a little more far fetched. Not a lot but still.

 

[Zetona]

Get employed at Google. Work up the ladder, and subtly manipulate the engine so that search results tend to point towards a website advertising your new world order. With your followers, overthrow all current government. Then encourage a mass suicide of your new cult so that the stupid people are wiped out. Save only a select few and rebuild.

 

[Klagermeister]

If there is a God....
1.)Somehow get myself killed without actually committing suicide(ex: Running into the middle a battlefield)
2.)Get into heaven, find god, then kick his ass and claim the title of God for myself.
3.)Since I'm God, I can just do whatever I want and I can rule over earth with an Iron fist.

An easier way could be to fall into a magical volcano which instantly makes me a god.(And you get a cookie if you know where that's from)

That's kinda how the devil came to be...
Oh, well. The first one doesn't do a heck of a job with his work anyway.

Well, I guess you'd just congregate the nerds, and let nature take its course.

 

[ManofKorea]

Fuck taking over the world because it takes to much time. So instead of assassinating someone or overthrowing someone. Why dont we just nuke the shit of the sun until it explodes. If that doesnt work then we can start a frakkin black hole and have everyone get sucked into the black hole. Lets just kill everyone on earth instead of taking over the world.

 

[FrankDux]

Get employed at Google. Work up the ladder, and subtly manipulate the engine so that search results tend to point towards a website advertising your new world order. With your followers, overthrow all current government. Then encourage a mass suicide of your new cult so that the stupid people are wiped out. Save only a select few and rebuild.

ahha you know I was thinking that merely 3 years ago, this joke probably would have been about Microsoft. Funny how it changed, but I agree Google is trying to take over the world

 

[irishstormtrooper]

The answer is quite simple. Get more nukes than the next guy.

 

[ZINGY1914]

1.hire 15-30 mercenaries
2.go to a small county/island with less than 50 people living their (south georga)
3.invade that area and kill everyone.
4.hire scientist and workers to extract all the reesorces you c get out of the area
5.start making nukes (make sure nobody knows about this)
6.set up a meeting with the united nations and make a peace offering (share the resources you dug up with the countries)
7.declare war on france and use all your nukes to abiterate them (everyone hates these french bastards)
8.hire more scientist and sent the to decontaminate zethonn (i renamed it hehe)
9.extract all the recouces that were not destroyed and make another peace offering etc...
10.build renewable recouces all over the country (wind power, solar power, hydro power...)
11.offer the would cheap renewabe energy (this is where you start raking in the money) and pay of any dept you owe to your hired help. start making 2 armies of about 1 million and 700,000 soldiers ( you have the money to do this)
12.as you become the worlds richest person alive, nobody will suspect this... nuke china...
13.explaont to the world that is did the workd good because they are the woulds largest polution supplier thats causing global warming (1 year of englands polution is around the same as 1 weeks polution in china!!!!)
14. extract the contamination of the nukes, the extrct the recouces left in china. then make more renewable energy resources and make yet another pace offering and sell more renewable cheap energy.
15. do the same to russia and other big countries ( not america because thats going to be the only country left where you will rule!)
16.once all countries are gone except america and england... send your army into america and england and become world dominator where you will bring forward a new age of man into peace, freedom, cheap renewable energy and venture into the unknown vastness of space where you will meet new species from unknown worlds. (and you repeat this over and over again untill you are ruler of the universe!!!!) THANKYOU FOR YOUR TIME AND PACIENTS. PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS, IM SAVING IT FOR WHEN I TURN 30 IN 13 YEARS P.S. I ONLY THORGHT OF THIS PLAN TO WIPE OUT FRANCE FROM THE VERY EXISTANCE OF THIS EARTH. MWOHAHAHA #COUGH# MWPHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

 

[Lordkeppington]

useing an army of killer penguins the fact they are small and fluffy will make the armys of the world drop there guard so i can defeat them!

 

[Cherry Cola]

Live in the USA, paint myself black so it seems like I'm a smart black man rather than just a man, run for president, get all the stupid people to vote for me just because I'm black and then rule the world!

Oh wait...

 

[Firenz]

Slightly different to taking over the world I know, but check this out anyway:http://qntm.org/?destroy

And the trick to actually taking of the world is convincing people that not only do they want you in power but need you in power (and if you can convince everyone on earth (or at least the majority of them) that they all need you in power at the same time then I'll elect you to Lord Chief High Presidential Prime Minster of the Earth (or whatever) anyday).