The Weird Ass Wizard Needs Help!

[ragestreet]

I have a character named JyxTheWeirdAssWizard. Yes that's all one word. He is very tan and wears only a pink loincloth and matching knee-high combat boots. He can't cast normal spells like fireballs and such but he is a master at full and partial transformations. He also has a spell where he lightly blows a rose onto someone which then causes the victim's entire body, inside and out, to turn into more roses, expand to thrice its size like a balloon, and explode into more roses.
I've managed to come up with several things for him to do: turn a demon king into a demon queen, come up with *ahem* creative solutions to angry mobs, and proposing marriage to two attractive grass-women one of whom he created while dodging a wall-breaking right hook from the first one. My main problem is I have no way of connecting these events. Can someone help me with this please?

Edit: THIS IS A STORY! I said it a few posts in but now I'm going to place it here so I don't have to again. Hopefully.

 

[NeedAUserName]

I'm confused... Is this some sort of book you are trying to write?

 

[quiet_samurai]

Ahhh... I rememebr the first time I did drugs too...

 

[ArcWinter]

Um... what are you talking about? is this a game of some sort? A book you are writing?

 

[jymbobjones]

yes press f10 then ctrl alt delete then qwerty and it should all work

 

[ArcWinter]

yeah, needausername
so, ragestreet.... what?

 

[ragestreet]

Sorry. I mentioned it was a story in the title then I changed it. Yes it's a story. Hopefully it'll be weird without being incredibly boring.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Ahhh... I rememebr the first time I did drugs too...

/thread

 

[ragestreet]

...

/shoots self due to insane amounts of WTF

Mission accomplished.

 

[nolongerhere]

Sleep. Your brain should return to normal function after about 12 hours of it.

Edit: Missed the story bit.
On topic, I really can't get my head around that.

 

[ragestreet]

I have a character named JyxTheWeirdAssWizard. Yes that's all one word. He is very tan and wears only a pink loincloth and matching knee-high combat boots. He can't cast normal spells like fireballs and such but he is a master at full and partial transformations. He also has a spell where he lightly blows a rose onto someone which then causes the victim's entire body, inside and out, to turn into more roses, expand to thrice its size like a balloon, and explode into more roses.
I've managed to come up with several things for him to do: turn a demon king into a demon queen, come up with *ahem* creative solutions to angry mobs, and proposing marriage to two attractive grass-women one of whom he created while dodging a wall-breaking right hook from the first one. My main problem is I have no way of connecting these events. Can someone help me with this please?

I see words, good spelling and grammar...
Then why the hell does none of it make any sense....

Don't think about it too much. It's supposed to be spectacle with a bit of plot thrown in. Unfortunately I have no plot at this point. Just a bunch of random shit.

 

[NeedAUserName]

Sorry. I mentioned it was a story in the title then I changed it. Yes it's a story. Hopefully it'll be weird without being incredibly boring.

A kingdom is ruled over by a sexist demon king, so you turn him into a woman. But there is angry mobs outside protesting the king, so you deal with them first. Then when you come back out there is more angry mobs about you changing the demons sex. Dunno about ths wife thing though...

 

[ragestreet]

...

/shoots self due to insane amounts of WTF

Mission accomplished.

*Revives himself and grabs shotgun*

How do you like me now *****?!

*Shoots rage, killing him*

*Gets reincarnated as a poisoned banana irresistible to any human*

TASTE VITAMIN-ENRICHED DEATH FOOL!

*Dives into throat and is eaten by Sanity causing rectal implosions and a nearby taco stand to spit relish.*

This message brought to you by the department of redundancy department.

 

[Cpt. Red]

Let it be as it is and just add in the ending a couple of guys laughing there asses of while being high...

 

[bodyklok]

Sorry. I mentioned it was a story in the title then I changed it. Yes it's a story. Hopefully it'll be weird without being incredibly boring.

A kingdom is ruled over by a sexist demon king, so you turn him into a woman. But there is angry mobs outside protesting the king, so you deal with them first. Then when you come back out there is more angry mobs about you changing the demons sex. Dunno about this wife thing though...

How about the demon king has a wife and she tries to kill you because you turned the demon king into a demon queen, and so you punch her, create this clone of her, and they have hot lesbian sex while I do LSD with magic Johnson? OK that kind of sucks but it's the best I can think of right now.

 

[NeedAUserName]

Sorry. I mentioned it was a story in the title then I changed it. Yes it's a story. Hopefully it'll be weird without being incredibly boring.

A kingdom is ruled over by a sexist demon king, so you turn him into a woman. But there is angry mobs outside protesting the king, so you deal with them first. Then when you come back out there is more angry mobs about you changing the demons sex. Dunno about this wife thing though...

How about the demon king has a wife and she tries to kill you because you turned the demon king into a demon queen, and so you punch her, create this clone of her, and they have hot lesbian sex while I do LSD with magic Johnson? OK that kind of sucks but it's the best I can think of right now.

Why not just run about putting the cover of the book on pre written books? Then you get all the cash and non of the work.

 

[ragestreet]

...

/shoots self due to insane amounts of WTF

Mission accomplished.

*Revives himself and grabs shotgun*

How do you like me now *****?!

*Shoots rage, killing him*

*Gets reincarnated as a poisoned banana irresistible to any human*

TASTE VITAMIN-ENRICHED DEATH FOOL!

*Dives into throat and is eaten by Sanity causing rectal implosions and a nearby taco stand to spit relish.*

This message brought to you by the department of redundancy department.

*Rewinds time, and kills rage before he was born*

/THREAD

*Parallel Rage (me with evil goatee) feels imbalance in the universe and literally pulls TARDIS out of ass, chases you, and hurls you into space. Many laughs are then had, beer is consumed, and somehow i switch heads with parallel Rage the next morning.*

 

[Fightgarr]

Snip

I expect better than lolcatz from you.

On topic, what is this about? Is this an animation you're making? Or a story you're writing? Man... uh... yeah, what the hell? I mean I'm all for random shit, but... usually I have an ounce of explanation behind things.
I mean seriously, lolcatz?

 

[Kogarian]

Ahhh... I rememebr the first time I did drugs too...

Yeah, definately. But at least we didn't try to become authors. We stuck to our video games and Cheetos.

 

[Walrus42]

Okay, it's good so far, but I think the only thing you need is Mr. T. Think about it. Add the T in there and you got a bestselling novel. For sure.