The weirdest question you heard in your life?

[Mr Cwtchy]

*looking at a world map*

"Where are we then?"

 

[Easton Dark]

"Which hole do you prefer liquids in"

 

[jamman]

"is that cats with an s?"

... not much to say tbh

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

'Do you ever stand in front of the mirror naked, and shake from side to side to watch your c*ck wave around...? I have always wanted to know that it looks like!'

Yeah... she was a bit fucked up! She asked me that when I worked in a supermarket!

Also... in A-level geography... Miss brainwave at the back suddenly asks:

'Sir... What's the capital of Africa? Is it Kenya?' - She must be having a blast with this Kony stuff!

 

[5-0]

I remember vividly an experience in high school where a girl asked me:
"Why are you wearing a bicycle chain around your neck?"
It wasn't a bicycle chain. It was just a normal chain, but rather than being silver it had a dirty grey look.

Also this thread reminds me of these two sketches:

 

[El Dwarfio]

There's a mature student in my tectonics class who comes out with brilliant shit all the time. (It's a senior level class - thats the lst year of uni for us English peeps )

"If your standing on the San Andreas Fault and turn around, does the fault movement change direction?"

"Which way is up?" After being shown a cross section of the JdF plate.

"Why do you live in a car?" After our lecturer showed us a photo of how a landslide nearly wiped out his car. This was completely out of the blue and literally left me speechless.

 

[Phasmal]

I have two.

"Can you get pregnant if you have oral sex"? The person who asked this was 22 at the time.

and

"Do you and [your brother] have the same father"?

I had a friend (who was actually kinda slutty) who strongly believed you could get pregnant from oral sex.. I kept trying to correct her, but she kept saying it...

I once knew a girl who thought she couldn't get pregnant;

a) because she was 16.

b) if she was on top.

When I was doing childcare at college, our First Aid class was always filled with people asking `Can I get pregnant if...?`, the answer was usually yes.

Oh. Which reminds me.
The nurse was talking about sperm and I can't remember what she said, but one of the girls in the class asked, when she was finished: "Is that why it tastes so bad?"
Everybody went silent and then just looked at her. She went bright red.

 

[Crumpster]

Yesterday I was working out at my gym and a woman comes up to me..

"Did you have a phase when you were a kid where you didn't want to wash your hair? If so, when did you get out of that phase and started washing your hair again? My daughter doesn't want to wash her hair"

I was perplexed..

 

[Individuo]

Dad once told me of the time he told someone in America that he was from England. The reply he got from a random stranger was "Ah, England! Is that near Belgium?"

I just told this to one of my flatmates (19 years old who shall be know as D)

D - Where's Belgium?
Me - It's between France and Netherlands
D - Is that Belgium?

 

[Kapri]

"What's a pin number?"

From some idiot douche bags messing around at an ATM in a gas station. I wanted to respond "Oh, it's the same as your social security number" but refrained. They'd probably ask what a soc. number was. Le sigh...

 

[Voidrunner]

Probably not so much weird as pointless but I always get ones like, "Did you know your nose is broken?" and "Have you noticed your nose is off-centre/crooked?" How would I not notice my nose was broken? It's not really something most people can remain oblivious to.

 

[doomspore98]

Would you rather live on a deserted island or go around your entire life with two penguins under your arms? Whenever I meet someone I try and ask this question with a straight face.
Also:
Fold or crumple? Referring to toilet paper.

 

[ElPatron]

"Where does self-esteem come from?"

There is a thread about it.

"What's a cartridge?"


- my young cousin when discussing video games, making me confront how old I really am.

My brother is 13 and he knows what a cartridge is. I don't see what's your point.

 

[razor343]

My ever so smart friend once asked me: "What would you do if you died?"
...
To which I said: "I would kill myself."

 

[Bloodstain]

'So why haven't we had sex yet?'
-- a friend of mine

Well, before you ask: We still haven't had sex.

 

[JayElleBee]

I once heard an American tourist ask "Is that a penguin?" about a bird that was nearby.

The bird in question was halfway up the side of a cliff. In Ireland.

It was a kittiwake, for the record.

 

[Patrick Buck]

I was having a conversation with a girl in my class, and mentioned I hadn't seen my friend for a while, becuase he was in iceland.

"The country?"
Yes the country. Why the hell would I mention that he was in the shop, after explaining why I hadn't seen him for a while? What the hell did she think he was doing, living in the fuckin' frozen food section??!

 

[Bloodstain]

Snippety snip Mitchell and Webb

Someone who knows and enjoys David Mitchell and Robert Webb? You, dear Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
I tip my hat to your magnificence [http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences/pedestrians.jpg].

 

[The Funslinger]

Rooming with some guys in a hostile a few years ago. One, who I still know and who has not become any less strange, asked me "do you talk toilet?"

 

[Sei Konsetsu]

When I was 14, late one night I couldn?t sleep. So I went outside and sat on the back porch in like a t-shirt and some boxers. When I came back in the house, my mom was in the kitchen getting some water. I jumped, because I thought everyone was sleep and didn?t expect to see my mom. Anyway, so she stares at me then looks out at the dog who was looking inside from the door I was standing in and asked me:

?Were you humping the dog?.??

I honestly had no idea how to answer and just stared at her, then finally said ?nooo???

No idea why she would think that.