The worst thing to say at a funeral.

[mihajelko]

Hope the bastard left me something nice in his will ... who am I kidding, I will steal all his stuff anyways.

 

[Lukeydoodly]

I'm sorry, who's funeral is this?

 

[manicfoot]

"Anyone know if its true that a man can get an erection after his death?" *lifts up casket* "HEYOOOOO"

 

[acer840]

"10 bucks says I can get the watch off the dead broad without people noticing"

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Jeez, no wonder he/she is dead. I'd kill myself too if these were the people in my life.

 

[Unknower]

"Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries." - John Cleese at Graham Chapman's funeral.

 

[Socius]

man: I just got to say, your housbond was the biggest asshole i've ever met!
wife: thank you *cry* it means so much to me

 

[oppp7]

Hell, it's about time. (points for reference)

 

[Steel Ronin]

Any dead baby joke and then laughing after it.

 

[Mr. Grey]

Another thought came to me. I'd probably steal the cuff links off of the man in the casket if they're fancy. When I'm being stared at by the family I'd say, "What? He owed me at least twenty dollars. I'm taking this as interest instead of taking from the grieving family." And then I proceed out the door before they realise I never met the man.

"Who wants burritos? My treat!"

"You know, he actually looks angrier now than when he was alive."

"Crap, we made a bet on who would die first... I lost."

When peering into the coffin "Hey! That's my suit he's wearing! I want it back!"

 

[Steve Dark]

Gentlemen, I give you: "The giggle Loop".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iKjkPgVQcE

Though I warn you, to know of the giggle loop is to become part of the giggle loop.

 

[Trivun]

"Now that you're dead do you mind if I screw your wife?"

or "Does anyone else here smell rotting flesh?"

Which in the first episode of Apocalypse Lane Steve actually suggest that they eat a guy.

Haha, that's a good one. I actually imagined you saying all that in the voice of Cuddles. Oh, sorry, I meant Mr Biscuits.

You know those really annoying old relatives that always say "your next" at weddings well that in reverse.

It's even funnier if you throw a wreath from the coffin into the air like a wedding bouqet. Not that I've ever done that. Ahem. Mooooving on...

Can't think of any good ones at the moment, but there's probably loads of funny ones been done on Mock the Week. If I think of any good ones I'll be sure to post them here .

 

[sirdanrhodes]

I once accidentally in her...

 

[TerribleTerryTate]

I never liked him/her anyway.

 

[Ghostkai]

OMGZ EPICZ!