Then all of a sudden...

[Kreett]

After i was done with my mental breakdown... I would totally brohoof the first one and glare at the other

 

[ipop@you]

Say to them 'Do you really want to do that? I could turn you into a goat, or a puddle, or a bad idea. I could make you eat your own fingers or fall in love with a cloud.' when they give me a look of mild confusion I will scream 'CHEESE!!!' then strip to my underwear and goose-step around the kitchen.

 

[Doclector]

Fire my kamehamehame-f*** you at them. This does not exist, but I think their own instability will fill in the empty air where the huge beam of death should be.

Also, am I the only one who filled in the blank after the title with "All of a sudden...there shined a shiny demon...in the middle, of the road..."

 

[Ghengis John]

You are working in your fancy 3 Michelin star restaurant when two masked banditos burst into the kitchen - they kill all your co-workers and leave you alive.

One screams "WE NEED TO GO FOR A RIDE ON MY RAINBOW UNICORN NOW!"

The other calmly states: "I would trust you with my children"

There is no evidence of mental instability in either of these men (the above event is apparently normal in this day's society)

How do you respond?

If they are ignoring me, I don't respond at all. The last thing I need to do is draw their attention or become "one of the guys" with anyone who would kill a restaurant full of unarmed people. Let's say I make them laugh. Shit. Now what? If they are looking at me like they expect a response then I will say "Let's goooooo ZEEEEEEE!" and attempt to goose step out the door.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

At Rainbow Unicorn, I would shout "I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME TOO" (Lady Raincorn), then we would be best buds and they let me live.

 

[OctoH]

I would pick up the best alcohol I could find and start drinking.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

"My staff having been slain, I know now never to have trusted them. Welcome home!" I will then give the banditos the hats and aprons off of the still-warm bodies of my former staff and we will continue our war against hunger.

 

[Sassafrass]

I'd probably say "You want me to put my ding-a-ling in your fairy cave, ARE YOU MAD, WOMAN?!" before lunging at them.

With a pro-boxer midget as back-up.
And he's riding a kangaroo.

 

[Trooper924]

Go insane. It's the appropriate response.

 

[Dutch 924]

I would say, "I'll never give you the access codes."

I would then kill them in some sneaky way, loot their possessions along with those of my colleagues (because when everything hits the fan you've got to be a bit kleptomanic), escape out the back and then search for their unicorn. Once I find it I would claim it as my own

 

[Wintermoot]

CHEESE IS A MAMMAL!
maybe they respond well to complete randomness

 

[repeating integers]

Er... I'd respond by doing this.

<youtube=4v3zGllz15g>

Since it makes about as much sense.