[HEADING=3]?The mouthpiece of the gaming generation?[/HEADING]
That is the slogan for renowned gaming website Escapist Magazine, home to such entertaining shows like Zero Punctuation, Loading Ready Run and Extra Credits. Behind the humorous yet educating features of the site stands a strong and friendly community of forum-goers, eager to welcome and accept new and insecure people into their circles, giving everything a very calming and serene atmosphere. Some call it the last haven for intelligent people on the internet, others call it the best website ever.
None of these people are right.
The truth us that the Escapist is an evil place of corruption, a black whole intent to destroy all good things about humanity. One by one we will all succumb to the calling of the dark void and turn into evil, mindless minions! Some of us are already lost. One of these people, is?
[HEADING=2] TheNamlessGuy[/HEADING]
Most people come to this site with good intentions. They are filled with dreams that they hope will turn into reality, a reality that will help the community thrive and prosper. TheNamlessGuy was once one of these people.
When he first came here in early January of 2009, he was still a pure soul. Over time he made some good friends, all while refraining from making any enemies. One of these friends were Escapist user Jaranja. I recently got a hold of Jaranja to ask him some questions about how Namless was as a person.
So, Jaranja, how long have you known TheNamlessGuy?
Jaranja: Probably about half a year. Met him in the off-topic forum section and he seemed like a pretty funny guy. Although he never stopped talking about Borderlands. He's the same as he always has been, except the popularity has gone to his head a bit ^^
?The popularity has gone to his head?. It was that sentence that stuck with me after my short but enlightening interview. As a close friend to Namless, Jaranja of course wouldn?t want to tell the truth about how his pal has fallen from grace, but he let that one thing slip. Perhaps he did it unconsciously, perhaps not. The fact still stands that I need to investigate further!
Some time ago, Namless made a group called The Escapist Faction, a desperate attempt to get somewhere in life. To spur people?s interest in the group, he promised those with high post counts Admin status as long as they posted only once in the chat. A very tempting proposition that many fell for. One of these people were non other than Hubilub
So, Hubilub, what happened when you joined the Escapist Faction?
Hubilub:It was a very chaotic time for me. It all started with Namless inviting me to join his new group. I was promised a fancy title and adminship. Being a powerhungry monster, I instantly agreed to the proposition. It was first then I realized that I had been tricked! Even though I was promised grand influence on the group, I couldn?t even bribe my way to win a single competition the group held[footnote]They held around one I think[/footnote]. By that time I knew that the power I had been promised was all a lie.
Lying to get more members? What an evil, deceitful strategy to rise to fame!
But that is not all problems the Faction has. There is a news post from quite some time ago. It reads:
10 000 Post Story Of Awesome
TheNamlessGuy posted on 24 Jan 2010 3:37 pm
As some of you know, I'm trying to make my 10 000 post story.
Please note that you only have to my 9900th post, at which point I will rewrite the story to make it not look like an incoherent mess!
If you want to be mentioned, just ask, and I'll fit you in
Following people are in it:
-Sassafrass
-Neonbob
-HUBILUB
-Furburt
-RanDOOM
-IdealistCommie
-Me
-SextusMaximus
-Thunderhorse94
-John Funk (CantFakeTheFunk)
-Jaranja
-Lycanthrope321
-Wardog13
-Asturiel
-Demented Teddy
-Pimppeter2 (Although referred to as "Pimpin' Peter)
-BloodyThoughts
-Ucciolord1
-NuclearPenguin
Oh, and I'm gonna list everyone in the Faction, so if that's good enough for you...
A promise to include the people of the group as well as others in his 10k post ?Story of awesome?. However, there are two problems with this.
1.It is a complete rip off of the story Hubilub did for his 10k post.
2. Namless never did it
That?s right. He never kept his promise to make this story for his 10k, even though the promise was made a long time before he actually achieved that number of posts. With that amount of time, there is no way he wouldn?t have the time to finish.
So what does this mean? Did something get in the way? Did his computer blow up? Or does Namless simply suffer from overambition?
I asked renowned user Furburt if he had any idea of how Namless thinks.
So, Furburt, tell us about Namless.
Furburt: I?ve known him since about 2007, but of course, I didn't know that at the time. He was on holiday here, and I ran into him on the street. I asked him if he had the time, and he hit me in the face with a blu-ray Twilight boxset. Bastard. I noticed him here around late 2009, September, I think it was. My first impression was that he had corrupted the entire mod staff with promises of money and power, and that I was the only one who could dislodge him from his position of ultimate dominance.
Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I ever got around to doing that...
And don?t believe his post count! He hacked it. I saw him do it, he hacked straight into the Escapist servers and gave himself 10,000 posts. It's so more would follow his deranged cause.
The man is a menace.
There you have it, the word of an Irishman high on weed! It must be true.
Namless has become a monster! He?s corrupting our children and is to this day attempting to help the great evil behind the site to conquer us all! We must stop him, or else, all hope is lost.
This has been a FactualSquirrel documentary.
A big thank you to Hubilub and all the people interviewed (sorry if I didn't use yours) for all the help, and congratulations to TheNamlessGuy for the 10k
