THERE'S A BIRD IN MY ROOF AND IT WON'T SHUT THE F**K UP

[captaincabbage]

It's been here for the past few days, right above my computer. At first I thought it was my chair, but it's chirping repeatedly and periodically now. It's really loud because my ceiling is just painted chip-board.

It just doesn't shut the fuck up.
It's been going for two god-damn hours tonight. Wat do?

EDIT: Frankly, I'm just amazed I got to ten replies. reading every reply is just making me laugh more and moreOHGODITSTARTEDCHIRPINGAGAIN!!

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

Headphones.

If that fails, suicide.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

1) Throw something at it

2) Climb up there and shoo it away

3) Set your house on fire.

 

[Rayne870]

one of the few problems that can be solved with a pellet gun.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

It just doesn't shut up.
It's been going for two god-damn hours tonight. What do?

Get one of those bird eating spiders as a pet or invest in a shotgun. Or. you know, go total war on it's ass. If you cant rest in your house then noone can; BY FIRE BE PURGED!

You made me think of this:

 

[Theo Rob]

just wait
if its stuck there let it die of starvation

or do what my friend did if possible punch hole in roof and kill with bare hands

 

[valkeminator]

1) Load shotgun
2) Point Loaded Gun at Noisemaker
3) ????
4) PROFIT!

If all else fail I suppose you can try throwing stuff at it (i.e. A Jar of Piss may work) or climb up and remove its nest or whatever that is keeping it up there someplace else.

Joking aside I suppose just do what these guys have said, either shoo it, or use headphones... Altho Im sure it should be very easy to shoo a mere bird.

...Unless if it happens to be a Pterodactyl or an Albatross then dear God, Lock and Load.

Edit: I also just remembered, BB Guns or Airsoft Rifles can take care of these guys in a single hit. One shot will stun them, repeated shots will probably tear through their flesh, while swiss cheesing is not recommended, unless you are willing to clean up the mess afterwards.

 

[Aurgelmir]

It's been here for the past few days, right above my computer. At first I thought it was my chair, but it's chirping repeatedly and periodically now. It's really loud because my ceiling is just painted chip-board.

It just does't shut the fuck up.
It's been going for two god-damn hours tonight. Wat do?

Call an exterminator....

 

[Quaxar]

It's been here for the past few days, right above my computer. At first I thought it was my chair, but it's chirping repeatedly and periodically now. It's really loud because my ceiling is just painted chip-board.

It just does't shut the fuck up.
It's been going for two god-damn hours tonight. Wat do?

Call an exterminator....

Or if that fails a terminator. T-1000 will kill the bird-shit out of it.

Or do it yourself using invisible paint.
http://trollscience.com/image/f/full/1d2c63db36fa90a5970a66b15091dbdb.jpg

 

[Ldude893]

Catch the bird, slingshot it at a pig farm.

Problem?

 

[knight steel]

It's been here for the past few days, right above my computer. At first I thought it was my chair, but it's chirping repeatedly and periodically now. It's really loud because my ceiling is just painted chip-board.
photo snip

It just does't shut the fuck up.
It's been going for two god-damn hours tonight. Wat do?

You could keep it as a pet and name him blinky and then go on sexy adventures?

 

[Buizel91]

I read the title...and i just burst out laughing xD

If you can reach the ceiling, bang exactly where it is, it should scare it and it might move to another part of the roof, hell, it may even leave.

By the way, i think this is appropriate

 

[MercurySteam]

Go up there and shoot it (with a nailgun if you don't have a real gun, or a cap gun would work if you don't have either).

 

[LeonLethality]

Try bargaining with it, negotiations can work out well for both sides.

 

[glyphseeker]

one of the few problems that can be solved with a pellet gun.

i feel sad now i was ninja'd

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Kill the everloving shit out of it with your bare hands. Then fuck the corpse into a river and take its place.
If the neighbours start complaining kill them too.

This is both a perfectly viable way of dealing with winged pests and an excellent way of relieving pent up stress

 

[rabidmidget]

Throw a grenade up there, if anyone asks, say it was a possum that did it.

 

[Irriduccibilli]

Kill it, kill it with FIRE!!!

 

[awesomeClaw]

Really? Because on my roof, some construction workers have been making holes with a drill that sounds like the loudest trafic stock you´ve ever heard. For THREE HOURS.

Yeah, i win.