Things Games Have Taught You.
- Thread starter Auron555
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1. walls are indestructible to EVERYTHING ( in most FPS's )
2. elf's are real ( rgp )
3. you can heal everything with a good old medikit
4. you dont need legs and feet to walk ( nearly every FPS out there )
5. ALL japanese women have huge tits and wear next to nothing ( any JRPG )
6. dead people can still wave at you (bioshock)
7. you can crash a helicopter on liberty island and you wont get a bollocking for it ( GTA IV )
8. you can walk around the streets with a rpg and no one will give two shits ( GTA )
2. elf's are real ( rgp )
3. you can heal everything with a good old medikit
4. you dont need legs and feet to walk ( nearly every FPS out there )
5. ALL japanese women have huge tits and wear next to nothing ( any JRPG )
6. dead people can still wave at you (bioshock)
7. you can crash a helicopter on liberty island and you wont get a bollocking for it ( GTA IV )
8. you can walk around the streets with a rpg and no one will give two shits ( GTA )
I guess we can add MGS4 to that one. As far as I remember they even tell the player how much it weighs. To what end I cannot fathom.Iron Mal post=9.68210.648289 said:
Your cousin really enjoys bowling. (GTAIV obviously)
Most girls are bat shit insane and should not be taken for a drink. They won't shut up. (Also GTAIV)
Covering your face with a cardboard mask of an enemy will make you look exactly like said enemy. It is however a very fragile disguise. (TF2)
DO NOT get out of your backyard because there are zombies that come out of the ground. (Silverfall... But I believe there are many other games like that too)
DO NOT go anywhere without at least half of inventory filled with potions. (Well, there are lots of RPGs like that... Let's say Sacred here)
YOU HAVE TO have a horde of gnomes just to defeat 3 or 4 over-sized moles (And let's not forget that it doesn't help the fact that you are the source of all evil, and have a freaking glowing sword!). (Overlord)
DO NOT have a girlfriend in your life because all girls you see are cheap whores interested ONLY in cars and jewelry (New Star Soccer 3, seriously, does any other kind of women exist in that game?!)
Puke once, and you loose a few pounds! (GTA San Andreas)
If you stab your friend with a knife, he/she/it will say "Ouch, watch out there!" and go on. (Or just pass out and wake up again, like all the "important" characters in Oblivion, and lots of other games...)
DO NOT go anywhere without at least half of inventory filled with potions. (Well, there are lots of RPGs like that... Let's say Sacred here)
YOU HAVE TO have a horde of gnomes just to defeat 3 or 4 over-sized moles (And let's not forget that it doesn't help the fact that you are the source of all evil, and have a freaking glowing sword!). (Overlord)
DO NOT have a girlfriend in your life because all girls you see are cheap whores interested ONLY in cars and jewelry (New Star Soccer 3, seriously, does any other kind of women exist in that game?!)
Puke once, and you loose a few pounds! (GTA San Andreas)
If you stab your friend with a knife, he/she/it will say "Ouch, watch out there!" and go on. (Or just pass out and wake up again, like all the "important" characters in Oblivion, and lots of other games...)
-Pressing Q will instantly equip the weapon you last used.
-Death is powerless against the F7 key.
-Many people and creature will refuse to acknowledge your attempts to assassinate them if you're far enough away.
-Town guards are incredibly perceptive but very forgiving.
-Crouching makes you move silently.
-I can see my hands, but where is my ... oh my god! I have no legs! ARGH!
-There's a good chance that if you're a very well trained special forces operative moving whilst aiming a gun is nigh on impossible.
-Holding a sword back for a few seconds makes it more powerful than simply swinging it.
-Death is powerless against the F7 key.
-Many people and creature will refuse to acknowledge your attempts to assassinate them if you're far enough away.
-Town guards are incredibly perceptive but very forgiving.
-Crouching makes you move silently.
-I can see my hands, but where is my ... oh my god! I have no legs! ARGH!
-There's a good chance that if you're a very well trained special forces operative moving whilst aiming a gun is nigh on impossible.
-Holding a sword back for a few seconds makes it more powerful than simply swinging it.
If in doubt, shoot it/jump on it/hit it with some item you can throw. It's probably trying to kill you.
There are far more people in this world trying to kill you than be your friend.
Leaves turn you into a raccoon hybrid creature and should be coveted for just that reason.
There are far more people in this world trying to kill you than be your friend.
Leaves turn you into a raccoon hybrid creature and should be coveted for just that reason.
you can pick up the paint can or the basket.
but you cannot pick up the paint can IN the basket.
Then the world gets confused.
And also, most doors are for aesthetic appeal.
(Half-Life 2)
Never trust people in hawaiian shirts, they're packing knives. ALWAYS. (Dead Rising)
With long enough hair, YOU CAN FLY! (DKC 2)
Don't touch Green Brazilians, they can electrocute you. (street fighter 2)
The sacrifice of saving lives can only be repaid in offers of beer. (half life)
but you cannot pick up the paint can IN the basket.
Then the world gets confused.
And also, most doors are for aesthetic appeal.
(Half-Life 2)
Never trust people in hawaiian shirts, they're packing knives. ALWAYS. (Dead Rising)
With long enough hair, YOU CAN FLY! (DKC 2)
Don't touch Green Brazilians, they can electrocute you. (street fighter 2)
The sacrifice of saving lives can only be repaid in offers of beer. (half life)
Although countless buildings are visible, most are a facade, and don't actually contain interiors at all. (Just about any non-RPG game.)
All women are strong, agile, independent, and skimpily dressed. (DoA...)
Most can take sword strikes to the anywhere and survive. (Soul Calibur)
Several sword strikes. (Or Ninja Gaiden...)
And a grenade. (Unreal Tournament)
When all else fails, the pistol usually has unlimited ammo. (Just about any arcade shooter, be it lightgun or sidescroller.)
There are two types of food:
Instant Health foods.
Slow, Steady, and Ultimately more fulfilling regenerative foods. (Various MMOs.)
You can only die forever if it is scripted in the storyline, or until you restart the game.
Touching a star will not instantly sear off or destroy any part of you, it will instead render you invulnerable to all hazards except endless drops.
It also makes you run faster.
Despite creating countless super-killer robots, Dr. Light has yet to figure the exact metallic alloy that is immune to spikes, much to any of his creations' demises.
No matter what laws of physics need apply to humans, these physics will rarely, if ever, apply to martial artists and ninjas.
Even though it has molded to the point of having a fully grown mushroom, bread is still edible for up to 10 points. (Metal Slug series)
All women are strong, agile, independent, and skimpily dressed. (DoA...)
Most can take sword strikes to the anywhere and survive. (Soul Calibur)
Several sword strikes. (Or Ninja Gaiden...)
And a grenade. (Unreal Tournament)
When all else fails, the pistol usually has unlimited ammo. (Just about any arcade shooter, be it lightgun or sidescroller.)
There are two types of food:
Instant Health foods.
Slow, Steady, and Ultimately more fulfilling regenerative foods. (Various MMOs.)
You can only die forever if it is scripted in the storyline, or until you restart the game.
Touching a star will not instantly sear off or destroy any part of you, it will instead render you invulnerable to all hazards except endless drops.
It also makes you run faster.
Despite creating countless super-killer robots, Dr. Light has yet to figure the exact metallic alloy that is immune to spikes, much to any of his creations' demises.
No matter what laws of physics need apply to humans, these physics will rarely, if ever, apply to martial artists and ninjas.
Even though it has molded to the point of having a fully grown mushroom, bread is still edible for up to 10 points. (Metal Slug series)
unless they aren't (HL2)shatnershaman post=9.68210.652712 said:
That a wolf has recently ingested a broadsword +2 and the treasury of the British Isles. (Anyone played The Bards Tale, by chance? The newer one, mind you)
Underground tunnels ALWAYS have headcrabs.
Your hair won't get messed up, even though you might be thrown from a building, take a headshot, get drenched, be lit on fire, etc.
I can drive any vehicle without prior training or experience.
I can fire a 5 cal sniper while standing and suffer little to no recoil/kickback
The Japanese always have a ready supply of ninjas/giant robots/prepubescent/androgynous heroes on hand.
If it's smaller than me, I can pick it up, and therefore, become bigger.
all theftable weapons are given the prefix "Replica", and therefore have no attack value and are worth less than a broken Rusty Iron Shortsword.
you can pickpocket someone's boots right off of them in broad daylight, but if you try for their shirt in the middle of the night, there will be eleventy billion guards after you forever and ever and ever.
The laws of physics are merely suggestions. (any and all Japanese games, and some western titles)
All health-restoring objects are red. All mind-stimulating objects are blue. All fatigue restoring objects are yellow. Poisons are always green. (See: RPGs)
You can easily take a hundred bullets than recover your health by crouching behind a brick wall for a few seconds. (Any shooter after Halo 2)
When anyone other than yourself sees a grenade, they must immidiately run towards it to provide a dramatic explosion. (Half Life 2, Halo series, COD series)
People other than yourself are easily replaceable dummies that come from nowhere. (COD, Halo)
If you can drive really, really fast and hide for 30 seconds, the police will totally forget about you, even if you just assasinated the president (GTA)
Any and all skills you possess can be represented numerically. (RPGs)
All health-restoring objects are red. All mind-stimulating objects are blue. All fatigue restoring objects are yellow. Poisons are always green. (See: RPGs)
You can easily take a hundred bullets than recover your health by crouching behind a brick wall for a few seconds. (Any shooter after Halo 2)
When anyone other than yourself sees a grenade, they must immidiately run towards it to provide a dramatic explosion. (Half Life 2, Halo series, COD series)
People other than yourself are easily replaceable dummies that come from nowhere. (COD, Halo)
If you can drive really, really fast and hide for 30 seconds, the police will totally forget about you, even if you just assasinated the president (GTA)
Any and all skills you possess can be represented numerically. (RPGs)