Things that parents say that make you roll your eyes.

[Mister K]

I don't know if the name of this thread is too specific, but whatever, lets roll with it.

So, the thing I am about to tell you happened when me and my lady were watching "How to train your dragon 2". Great animated movie. Funny, charming, but with a lot of serious moments. One of those moments (the movie is rather old now, I won't spoiler tag it) was when Hiccups father died.

The ceremony is held. His body is sent away on the boat and Hiccup, with maturity on his face, shoots a flaming arrow in the boat.
In the row behind me a kid of about 8-10 years asks his mother: "Mom, what is happening?"
And mommy answeres: "Oh, this is a ceremony to show that he became a man."

Technically, there WAS something in her words that was true enough. But still, woman, on of these days your child will have to face death, maybe even yours. At the very least allow the cartoon to prepare him for this with a death of a nice, kind, fearless, but in the end imaginary guy. Yes, you'll probably have to tell him things that are hard to say. But by shielding him now you are making him unprepared for the future.


So, have you ever heard things that parents said to their children that made you either roll your eyes or wish to come to them and say: "Allow me to tell you why what you are saying is bullshit"?

 

[Neverhoodian]

I often find it annoying when parents use the "count to ten" approach for disciplining their children. You know, the ones that loudly proclaim "Ooone...twoooo...threeee...(etc.)" when their kids are acting up. More often than not the little hellian ignores the parent completely until they get up to eight or nine, and by then I'm more than ready for both parties to shut the hell up. It's tedious, disruptive to others and the kid learns the wrong kind of lesson ("I can toe the line free of consequences").

Back in my day[footnote]*Insert cane waving here*[/footnote] I was properly taught to shape up by my parents. If I didn't heed their initial warning they'd grab me by the arm and scold "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!" Short, sweet, and no doubt cathartic to anyone I may have been bothering with my antics. Worked like a charm, and it was good preparation for dealing with supervisors at work.

 

[Casual Shinji]

So, the thing I am about to tell you happened when me and my lady were watching "How to train your dragon 2". Great animated movie. Funny, charming, but with a lot of serious moments. One of those moments (the movie is rather old now, I won't spoiler tag it)

A movie from 2014 is already too old to spoiler tag?!

Man, I am getting behind the times.

 

[Queen Michael]

So, the thing I am about to tell you happened when me and my lady were watching "How to train your dragon 2". Great animated movie. Funny, charming, but with a lot of serious moments. One of those moments (the movie is rather old now, I won't spoiler tag it)

A movie from 2014 is already too old to spoiler tag?!

Man, I am getting behind the times.

You and me both, brother. If movies released less than a year ago are old, what the heck is new?

 

[Mister K]

snip

snip

Well, maybe it isn't old enough. My bad.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

"I let my son/daughter make his/her own decisions."

Now, if the kid is older(say...18+), then yeah, fine. But I'm talking about those new wave, close minded yet still call themselves progressives that let their toddler make their own decisions. I've seen it in articles, of parents letting their 5 year olds dictate what they want for lunch at pre-school, because she was "so mature for her age!". Yeah, bullshit. The most mature 5 year old barely knows how many fingers/toes they have, let alone proper diet and nutrition for a growing body.

And I've seen it in person.
Before my stepmom and dad got together, my step-sister told her parents she was done with High School. Just done. One day she decided it wasn't for her.
She was 14.
And despite the fact you have to be 16 to stop attending, or continue in home schooling, they let her stop. She just stopped attending because that was her decision and they respected her.

I get that parents don't want to be mean to their kids, but holy fuck! 5 year olds don't get an opinion! 14 don't get an opinion! If you're still living off your parents dime, if they drive you where you want/need to go, if they handle just about every aspect of your life worth handling, then you don't get to dictate terms! And parents need to stop treating their children at equals. They're not. Toddlers, pre-teens, teens(less than 18) are not equals to adults and should not be treated as such. Even 18 year olds are not equals, emotionally and mentally. Legally? Sure. But an 18 year old is just as dumb as a 17 year old, who is just as dumb as a 19 year old.

 

[Barbas]

"I'm not going to say it again..."

O RLY? Well, I've got all day and I'm the one who's already sitting down, so start the clock.

 

[Loop Stricken]

"Depression doesn't exist, people should just get over it."

 

[Varrdy]

My mother is not particularly religious but asserts that "Religion never hurt anyone".

When I pointed out some of the horrible shit religion is responsible for, my Dad, who is also not very religious, declared: "You know nothing about religion!"

What he really meant was that I was daring to challenge the clean and wholesome image that religion likes to portray and how dare I? It was one of the few times I actually argued back and retorted that "I know plenty about religion!"

What else?

"He/She's a child, get over it!" - I hear this a lot from parents when people say that they don't particularly like to hear their child screaming and / or being a little turd. How dare we not think that everything that comes out of their baby is magical and pure?

 

[MrFalconfly]

Anything starting with "When I was your age".

I'm sorry mum, but we don't live in 1975. This is 2015, get with the programme.

 

[wooty]

"Why are you the only one without a girlfriend?"
"Get out of my house!"

I'm getting those two a lot more and more these days....

 

[meepop]

Wow, jeez. Uh...

One of the most annoying things I've seen parents do is the old "Because I told you so." argument. People might say "Oh well they don't need logic because it's their kid." But that's idiotic. Same with ignoring questions your kids ask just because you don't know. You know what? Maybe kids (Anyone from 0-17) aren't that smart. But if you give them reasons behind why they're forbidden from doing something (Stripped down to their age and logical ability) and admit things like the fact you don't know everything, how can it hurt them?

Another is an annoying thing: "SHHHHH!" This is said by moron parents sometimes during Mass, which I attend with my mother and grandmother occasionally. There is a crying room, I.E. Room made specially for crying kids. There is a lobby where the feed from the Church itself is fed into, allowing someone to, say, pray and listen outside.

But no. The idiot parent(s) sit there and try to "SHHHHHHHH!" their kids who are also crying and pissing people like my family (and presumably others) off. And I'm not saying this only happens at Church because I'm sure it doesn't, but it's the only place I've seen it. Like, you don't come to Church just to keep up appearances. Leave the kid at home, or go out in the lobby, and actually pray and listen that way. Being in front of the priest doesn't (As far as I know, maybe I've been fucking lied to for years about this) increase what God thinks of you or your prayers. e.e

 

[Fox12]

The general consensus by old people that the world is a hellhole, and we need to return to that magical time when there were unicorns, and rainbows, and a white man could lynch his neighbor in peace. Sorry grandma, we have things like computers, and medicine, and human rights now. The world was actually a pretty shitty place when you were a child, get over it.

*The only exception, of course, is my childhood, which actually was a golden age of human understanding and Hey Arnold. The 90s were awesome*

 

[visiblenoise]

"Go to bed"

"Isn't your cousin's baby cute"

"Roll your eyes for me right now"

 

[DementedSheep]

I remember seeing some parenting advice which said a parent should always have an answer and and appear infallible to their kid. So if a kid ask you how many leaves there are on tree you make up a number. What the hell? You don't act like you know everything! Say you don't know, that's not a bad thing. If they ask something you don't know but it's something you can find out, turn it into a learning opportunity for the kid.

I also remember when I was little being unreasonably angry at someone else telling their kids that a serval was a tiger at the zoo while standing next to sign that said it was a serval. My parents found this hilarious.

In regards to death, I know its not comfortable subject but don't dance around it and don't call it something else. You get problems in hospitals with anaesthetising kids because "having an injection and going to sleep" = death to them. You also get parents who take their kids to a pet getting euth'ed when they didn't tell them what was going to happen beforehand and the kid really thought they were going to the vet to "get better" (because that's what a vet dose right? if the pet is sick the vet can fix them) or again "they are just going to sleep". They're going to be upset either way but trust me, its much more traumatic for them think that and then be confused as to why everyone is upset and have the pet die in front of them (which does NOT look like going to sleep).

 

[Uncle Comrade]

Anything starting with "When I was your age".

I'm sorry mum, but we don't live in 1975. This is 2015, get with the programme.

The general consensus by old people that the world is a hellhole, and we need to return to that magical time when there were unicorns, and rainbows, and a white man could lynch his neighbor in peace. Sorry grandma, we have things like computers, and medicine, and human rights now. The world was actually a pretty shitty place when you were a child, get over it.

*The only exception, of course, is my childhood, which actually was a golden age of human understanding and Hey Arnold. The 90s were awesome*

Pretty much this. Things like "We never had [smartphones/political correctness/Miley Cyrus/etc] when I was young, and we turned out alright." Well that's nice to know gramps, but since we leave in a world where these things do exist, your experience of life without them is essentially irrelevant.

Related to that, when I was in a period of long-term unemployment, I used to have frustrating conversations with my grandparents, who seemed to think that getting a job was still as simple as walking into a building, asking the manager for work, and being in your new uniform within the hour.

 

[Dingobennyfred]

"*sniff* *sniff* Is that pot I smell?"

No, ma, that's not pot. That's Marlboro. And out of the two I think you would (or should) be more concerned with the later.


p.s. - Yes, smoking's bad, but it helps me deal with stress. That, thankfully, she understands.

 

[meepop]

Oh yeah I got another one: "There weren't all these crazy/insane people earlier in history/when I was younger."

The correct phrase to add on to the end there is, "To you." You, sitting there as a 40-year-old (or more) parent, were probably stuck in your little bubble of ignorance when you were younger. However, to go along with your (Parents) view of "We didn't have smartphones back in my day.", let's put two and two together.

Technology that lets you instantaneously connect with others in the world, and allows us to report on major news anywhere in the world, combined with crazy people that *always* existed results in a person believing there wasn't as much crazy when there was but no one heard about anything beyond where they lived.

I remember seeing some parenting advice which said a parent should always have an answer and and appear infallible to their kid. So if a kid ask you how many leaves there are on tree you make up a number. What the hell? You don't act like you know everything! Say you don't know, that's not a bad thing. If they ask something you don't know but it's something you can find out, turn into a learning opportunity for the kid.

Yeah, I said the same thing, and it's damn true. Don't let your child be a sheep. Let them question things. Let them know it's alright to not know everything, and that actively not knowing stuff is bad (Although that part might want to be saved for preteens/teenagers). Instill the want to know things in them.