Things you dont say or do at a funeral

[Yggdraz0r]

Walk in with a Cannibal Corpse tshirt.

What they said I had to dress up black!



(I still want to head to a Just-been-born-'party' with a Butchered at Birth t-shirt. Image below)

Spoiler

 

[etherlance]

At your best friends mothers funeral:

"You know something guys?.......I still tap that arse"

Or:

"Hey that prick still owes me money!!"
*Jump into the coffin and start beating the corpse while looting the pockets*

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

Believe it or not, but my friendWANTs me to say "he was a fucking great guy, and this is turning into a real asshole of a day" at his funeral, like, in front of everyone. I'm cool for it because I get it (it's a line from the Macgruber movie, which he REALLY likes). But I don't think his family would be cool with it.

Funnily enough, I just watched that movie last night.

I wouldn't mind if someone said I was a "fucking great guy" at my funeral.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

"You're next!"

Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.

Actually, I might add that to the playlist for my own funeral...

 

[Vyper1X]

Don't say this to a widow if her husband died of old age

"I bet this is as stiff as he's been in years"

 

[DarthFennec]

Switch the body when nobody's looking. I didn't check to see if someone already said that.

Oh, and plagiarize your eulogy, preferably with something relatively well known. It helps here to specifically state that you came up with it all on your own.

 

[Vyper1X]

This thread puts the fun in funeral.

 

[Free Thinker]

"If he/she comes back as a zombie...I call dibs in killing them."

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

(During the eulogy) "God, this is SOOO BOOOORRRING, did anyone really care about this asshole?"

 

[Chewster]

Wearing a giant 10-gallon foam hat is generally looked down upon.

 

[Oilerfan92]

Believe it or not, but my friendWANTs me to say "he was a fucking great guy, and this is turning into a real asshole of a day" at his funeral, like, in front of everyone. I'm cool for it because I get it (it's a line from the Macgruber movie, which he REALLY likes). But I don't think his family would be cool with it.

Funnily enough, I just watched that movie last night.

I wouldn't mind if someone said I was a "fucking great guy" at my funeral.

Yea. M sure his directffamily would get it, but like his older relatives would probably be offended.

I'm already makin. Minor plans for mine, just in case. Im just teeing to figure out when the best time to play Garden by Pearl Jam would be.

 

[8bitmaster]

"Why is everyone so sad? who died?"

 

[Mechsoap]

"you know i was the last person to sleep with them" Any one know where that's from.

the it crowd XD i laughed myself shitless by that episode

''damn....she had nice breasts, hate to let them go to waste'' *run to the coffin*

 

[Dango]

Never laugh loudly. Never.

And this is why I will never be able to go to a funeral, I'm practically always smiling or laughing.

OT:
1. "Congratulations."
2. If you for any reason are taking a picture of the casket or deceased person, do not follow it up with a Dead Rising "Faaaaaaaaantasic!"
3. Never, EVER, under any circumstances say "I feel so alive."
4. Do not sing "Still Alive".

 

[Furioso]

I just got back from having my grandmothers funeral and as crazy as it sounds the entire time my mind kept coming up with bad funeral jokes. For example: The owner of the funeral home was telling us how well renown there funeral home is, and I had to fight myself from saying, I guess people are just dieing to get in here. See! so not appropriate lol.

So tell me what else you should never say or do at a funeral.

EDIT: When I die I want to go out with a bang. So burn my ashes and put me in a fire work! LOL

To make you feel better a common way of dealing with tragedy is comedy, well maybe not so common but there are people who laugh instead of cry, better than being sad!

OT: Don't show up to a funeral drunk, then vomit into the casket, my uncle did that, we sent him to AA

 

[Nieroshai]

Did he drop any good loot?

Roll search check please.

Rofl troll less please.

Not like you're trying to be serious either... there goes my joke...

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Let's assume the widow of the deceased is very attractive.

"Damn, baby. If that dress was any tighter, the cadaver wouldn't be the only stiffy at this funeral."

 

[Peteron]

I went to a funeral once. I couldn't go up to the casket because she had such a dumb expression on her face I would start laughing uncontrollably. We laughed a lot anyway, but not in front of the casket. I find dead people to look funny

 

[oxiclean]

A teacher of mine said that THE PRIEST, at a funeral for his son's best friend, told him that the deceased went to hell because he didn't go to church often enough. A police officer who showed up separated my teacher and the priest before punches started being thrown.

I would say that would be a bad thing to say at a funeral, especially as the priest presiding over it.

 

[Aeterna]

Never make a yo momma joke.