Things you dont say or do at a funeral
- Thread starter ForensicYOYO
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Ung. I don't have to say what not to do, I DID what not to do.
My great grandmas wake we had a moment of silence, I was a teen and I looked around the room (this was at her house, no body etc) and I spotted this picture pinned on her corkboard with some other stuff:
I slapped my hand over my mouth and instantly teared up it was the funniest thing on the worst moment of the worst day. Then I did the most logical thing TO do in this situation
...I tugged on my friends sleeve and pointed, he did the exact thing I did.
Needlessly to say, we got caught by my uncle and just pointed out. As soon as we got outside we started cracking up. As inappropriate as it was I feel like my great grandma would have understood and laughed anyway. My uncle understood just after a bit of talking, said he understood but didn't want us to suddenly start burst out laughing at that moment.
My great grandmas wake we had a moment of silence, I was a teen and I looked around the room (this was at her house, no body etc) and I spotted this picture pinned on her corkboard with some other stuff:
I slapped my hand over my mouth and instantly teared up it was the funniest thing on the worst moment of the worst day. Then I did the most logical thing TO do in this situation
...I tugged on my friends sleeve and pointed, he did the exact thing I did.
Needlessly to say, we got caught by my uncle and just pointed out. As soon as we got outside we started cracking up. As inappropriate as it was I feel like my great grandma would have understood and laughed anyway. My uncle understood just after a bit of talking, said he understood but didn't want us to suddenly start burst out laughing at that moment.
Do NOT put a cherry bomb in the mouth of the deceased when no one is looking
Do NOT ride the coffin like a surfboard/horse
Do NOT imply that the body would be remembered better as an awesome BBQ
Do NOT bring up the idea of people feeling everything that happens to their bodies after they die
If the casket is closed, do NOT insist on opening it to see if there's any good loot inside
Do NOT immediately start hitting on the spouse of the deceased upon arrival
Do NOT insist on shooting the deceased in the head "just to make sure"
Do NOT doodle on the memorial photo in the main hall, no matter how good the deceased looks with a Snidely Whiplash mustache
Do NOT ride the coffin like a surfboard/horse
Do NOT imply that the body would be remembered better as an awesome BBQ
Do NOT bring up the idea of people feeling everything that happens to their bodies after they die
If the casket is closed, do NOT insist on opening it to see if there's any good loot inside
Do NOT immediately start hitting on the spouse of the deceased upon arrival
Do NOT insist on shooting the deceased in the head "just to make sure"
Do NOT doodle on the memorial photo in the main hall, no matter how good the deceased looks with a Snidely Whiplash mustache
Believe it or not, but my friendWANTs me to say "he was a fucking great guy, and this is turning into a real asshole of a day" at his funeral, like, in front of everyone. I'm cool for it because I get it (it's a line from the Macgruber movie, which he REALLY likes). But I don't think his family would be cool with it.
I guess "I'd still tap dat" would be bad on so many levels. And yes, I felt dirty even typing that.
I guess "I'd still tap dat" would be bad on so many levels. And yes, I felt dirty even typing that.
Do NOT tip over the casket.
Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.
Do NOT play Voltaire's Zombie Prostitute.
Do NOT say,"Can we hurry this shit up, I'm still alive and my time is pretty fuckin' precious.!"
Do NOT say, "You know, I'm glad that fucker's dead; He was a prick!" and then punch the corpse.
Do NOT shout, "Buuuuuullshit!" whenever someone is giving the eulogy.
Edit: Do NOT play Reel Big Fish's Your Guts ( I Hate Them)
Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.
Do NOT play Voltaire's Zombie Prostitute.
Do NOT say,"Can we hurry this shit up, I'm still alive and my time is pretty fuckin' precious.!"
Do NOT say, "You know, I'm glad that fucker's dead; He was a prick!" and then punch the corpse.
Do NOT shout, "Buuuuuullshit!" whenever someone is giving the eulogy.
Edit: Do NOT play Reel Big Fish's Your Guts ( I Hate Them)
"Oh yeah he/she put up quite a fight. Took forever to make him/her stop breathing, lemme tell ya."
You act like you clowns actually liked him/her.
Hmm... well plus side, for once in his/her life.... he/she doesn't stink today.
He deserved it.
*Realistic*
Ok, stop crying, they wouldn't have wanted it. You* go find some catering for 100. You* go find me at least two kegs.... neither had better be Bud. And you.... you go find us and this dead guy some place where we can get hammered and celebrate the dead bastard's life.
Hmm... well plus side, for once in his/her life.... he/she doesn't stink today.
He deserved it.
*Realistic*
Ok, stop crying, they wouldn't have wanted it. You* go find some catering for 100. You* go find me at least two kegs.... neither had better be Bud. And you.... you go find us and this dead guy some place where we can get hammered and celebrate the dead bastard's life.
Unless the deceased requests it in their will or something.zombiestrangler said:
It's also not a good idea to play the Eulogy song (The Chaser one) either during the funeral or immediately afterwards either.
Also, don't make comments about digging up the deceased and using their brain or whatever in your evil mad scientist plans...Actually saying you'll mess with the person's corpse after they're buried is a definite not to do in general.
Describe a pessimistic/atheist view of the afterlife to young children.
It wouldn't even be a challenge to try and make them cry.
It wouldn't even be a challenge to try and make them cry.
