So in my travels throughout the dark space of Youtube I have come across the few sparks of light. Behold the insanity of Thaddeus Thundercock.
This madman deserves all the internets.
Captcha: Peanut Butter. I shudder to think of what this madman would do with it.
Edit: For you my brethren I shall tread through the dark and dank spaces of Youtube to bring you the finest entertainment this side of the Internet.
In the year 2525 A.D, I was born in the ruins of an ancient martian castle, under the command of the infamous Dr. James Francostein (well known for his activity of raising the dead, as well as his "pineapple" themed drug industry), when he birthed me as the ultimate genetic experiment. A new breed of super soldiers, from the napalm ashes of Galactic War III , I would come to gain ultimate power. I was the first of a series. It was the mad Dr. Francostein's dream to build a great army of other genetically test tube bred superhumans, so he could overthrow all the governments and take over the entire solar system, after which he would enslave all sentient life surrounding him to mine the Unobtainum mines of Saturn, I was at the forefront of this mad dream. However, it was on the day of my birth that he cut my foreskin, in the circumcision tradition. Unfortunately, Dr. Rabbi missed the mark, and far too much of it was cut off. From then on, I was mocked. Nobody knew of my potential power, but everyone knew of my stub-choad. I lived a life of penile misery. My creator had left me behind, calling me a failure and replacing me with the lighter and more agile "Lord Lightningdick". It was from then on that me and Lord Lightingdick would go from brothers to enemies. Soon, under the pressure of constant mocking I snapped. Unleashing the ultimate psychic attack of kinetic powers, I was able to launch an assault. My mind ripped as I through them into the air and vaporized them with my deadly stare. I was soon exiled to the Junk heaps of Omega, where I would live the life of a slum. It was in those junk yards where I discovered the wonders of cybernetics. I was able to build myself a new penis: A HYPER CYBORG PENIS WITH A MAXIMUM LENGTH OF 2 FEET! I went from the humble Thaddeus Francostein, to the feared THADDEUS THUNDERCOCK! I would reign the ultimate power of hyper-dimensional penile projection. Soon, the legend of my cyborg schmuck became galactic infamy. Tripple breasted tentacled alien chicks would wage entire wars across dimensions just to get up on that. It was then that I discovered my power. I soon became a super hero, penetrating evil and pleasuring good. But soon, a new evil would rise. Mega Ultra Werewolf Space Hitler began to wage his war of terror. Mr. Werewolf Space Hitler arose from the depths of evil on July 7th, 1952. After many years of the secret Nazi flying saucer base being hidden on the moon, Hitler had returned to Transylvania in an effort to recapture it from his continuing enemy Soviet Russia. It was Russia's hope that by winning the space race, it could implant a nuke on the base and destroy the Nazi Lunar presence. However, fate would have it that on that night, moon Hitler was attacked and bitten by a werewolf. Due to the legendary lycan presence in Transylvania, Space Hitler gained the curse of the werewolf. Due to the fact that werewolves enter their primordial form under the light of the full moon, upon arrival Space Hitler was turned into a MEGA MUTANT WOLF! and due to the fact that he was actually LIVING on the surface of the moon, Space Hitler was stuck with this curse for the rest of his life.Things were a lot worse for the people on the base. Going on a rampage, Super Ultra Mega Space Werewolf Hitler went on a rampage and ate everyone, destroying the base in the process. Everyone thought him dead. But he had returned (presumably he survived because nothing other than silver bullets...not even the vacuum of space can kill a werewolf). I killed him, but in our battle I almost died. I realized it was time for an upgrade. So, the Thundercock now had a combat mode. When in combat mode, my thundercock can launch highly radioactive photon blasters, as well as plutonium nukes and a mounted gattling gun. So, my adventures continued. I explored the entire galaxy. But one day, my starship got stuck in a timewarp and crashed in Roswell New Mexico on July 5th, 1947. The government confiscated my ship/time machine. I was to work for them. So I spent years as an alien hunter working for NASA. I was the men in black. Then, I finally got my ship back. after having yet another time warp accident, I was sent back in time to meet Mr. HG Welles. Our encounter would give him an idea for a very famous novel. However, in making this temporal causality loop I had caused a universe ending paradox. So, I was forced to have sex with the universe, thus causing a second big bang. Then I had to relive all of history. After killing the dinosaurs by giving them a nasty STD and killing Julius Ceasar at a Roman orgy, and helping the Egyptians build the pyramids by letting them use the anti gravity generator found in my super cybernutsack, I had finally repaired my warp drive. Since then, my grand sexual adventures through the cosmos continue...
This madman deserves all the internets.
Captcha: Peanut Butter. I shudder to think of what this madman would do with it.
Edit: For you my brethren I shall tread through the dark and dank spaces of Youtube to bring you the finest entertainment this side of the Internet.
