Hi all, I thought I'd get a bit more discussion from a more neutral source, I recently made a blog post about the whole 'Me Before You' thing since, apparently as someone with a disability I must deeply care and have an opinion, when it turned out I didn't several people I know just basically scolded me on Facebook for being an insensitive prick given the content of my post, (for context I'll mention I know a lot of disabled people) I'll copy and paste it here, and I'd appreciate some discourse on it from a less invested party
the question I'm basically asking here, is was I being a bit too insensitive, or are other being overly sensitive? (I know, "if you have to ask" but still, I think it's worth talking about) I'd also be very interested to see if anyone here agrees with me.
Okay so here's the content of the post:
Okay, given that I am physically disabled, I?ve been asked about this by a few people, and given that I have a lot of disabled people on my Facebook it?s been a difficult thing for me to get away from. (On a side note I don?t enjoy writing about disability, be it mine or just in general, I don?t find it difficult to talk about or anything, it?s just that the many disabled people I know (went to a special needs school so there are a fair few) seem to constantly complain about only being identified as disabled people, but then talk about nothing else, and I kind of think, if you want to be recognised for other things, then you should show people something else, rather than just complain, I?ll answer questions if they?re asked but it?s not something I like to focus on.)
For those reading who may not know, Me Before You is a drama film based on a novel of the same name, that as far as I can gather is about a disabled guy that falls in love with his caregiver and eventually kills himself rather than live like that and burden her with his care, so it?s basically like Million Dollar Baby but without all the Clint Eastwood and boxing.
For the people who basically want to know my opinion, I don?t really have one, I haven?t seen the film, and I don?t think I will. It just doesn?t seem like the kind of thing I?d enjoy, and after having read some reviews it doesn?t sound like a particularly good version of that kind of thing for those that do, even independent of the controversy (such as it is).
Okay so let?s start with why people are upset, I just gave a brief summary and probably huge oversimplification of the plot, after a bit of research there isn?t that much more to it apart from the minor details that the guy was not born disabled and acquired a spinal injury and with it quadriplegia, and that he?s also rich because if he wasn?t finding him attractive would just be weird wouldn?t it?
Essentially the reason people are upset is because the film allegedly romanticises suicide for the disabled, or at least normalises it, enforcing the idea that a life with a disability is not worth living and that disability and dignity are mutually exclusive, which is far from a new thing in cinema (all while using the hilariously hypocritical tagline ?live boldly?, a reference to the character?s last words to his caregiver via a letter) which is mixed messages to say the least (interestingly, apparently in the book he simply asked her to ?live well? which is slightly less contradictory, and makes me wonder why they went with the change,) I?ve heard a lot of people call this a ?disability snuff film.?
To be absolutely honest my biggest criticism of that premise is not that I find it offensive, I just find it lazy, a cheap shot at trying to get a sad ending in there to make the film more affecting than it has earned the right to be (remembering of course that all of this is conjecture, I?ve not seen the film and probably won?t.) and it hints at a lack of research, I can?t speak to the experience either, as I don?t have quadriplegia, though people seem to think that since I use a wheelchair that?s close enough, It really isn?t.
Again, I don?t have quadriplegia, so I don?t feel in the right to complain about any portrayal of it, I can?t honestly say I wouldn?t consider suicide because I don?t know what it?s like, for someone with Cerebral Palsy I?m actually quite low on the scale of actually being handicapped by it, I use a wheelchair outside, but I could easily get about on my knees without one if it were socially acceptable to do so outside of my house, I was also born with it, so I can?t speak to the shock of suddenly acquiring a disability as I?ve never known anything else. That said, the suicide thing does strike me as a lazy stock ending, this film in my eyes is guiltier of failing to raise my interest than offending me.
The thing that annoys me most about the whole situation surrounding this film, is the bombardment of assumptions that I, along with any other even slightly disabled people, regardless of severity, circumstance or context, must give a shit, I really don?t. As far as I?m concerned this whole debacle has only served to allow an average-to-mediocre film (if the critics consensus on Rotten Tomatoes is to be believed) more attention than it deserved to have, which only helps the film, and if anything will probably encourage more like it because controversy is very profitable.
I?m not going to say I can?t see why a lot of disabled people are a bit upset over this film, I?m not even going to say they?re wrong to feel that way, it?s not my place to decide that. If you really want to get into the politics of it I?d say the bigger problem (of which both sides of the argument are guilty) is the grouping together of disabled people as one entity. It?s not a community, I don?t know Stephen Hawking and I resent the assumption that I automatically give a shit about other disabled people, because unless I know them, I probably don?t. (I have this argument with my mother every time she scolds me for not watching the Paralympics because I?m ?supposed to be inspired.?)
In summary, in regard to the film, I don?t think it was meant to offend, I?m a big fan of Hanlon?s razor as a principle with these things, never attribute to malice what is more easily explained by carelessness or stupidity. Also, unless you yourself have quadriplegia, I think it?s a bit presumptuous to get offended by the notion of someone with it choosing to end their own life. I don?t know what it?s like, and neither do you, having said that, it does feel like taking the easy way out to end the film that way.
So my conjecture is, the worst thing Me Before You appears guilty of, is getting a lot of attention without necessarily being a compelling enough film to warrant it. I?m more annoyed with the people who assume I?d be offended than I am with the film itself.
the question I'm basically asking here, is was I being a bit too insensitive, or are other being overly sensitive? (I know, "if you have to ask" but still, I think it's worth talking about) I'd also be very interested to see if anyone here agrees with me.
Okay so here's the content of the post:
Okay, given that I am physically disabled, I?ve been asked about this by a few people, and given that I have a lot of disabled people on my Facebook it?s been a difficult thing for me to get away from. (On a side note I don?t enjoy writing about disability, be it mine or just in general, I don?t find it difficult to talk about or anything, it?s just that the many disabled people I know (went to a special needs school so there are a fair few) seem to constantly complain about only being identified as disabled people, but then talk about nothing else, and I kind of think, if you want to be recognised for other things, then you should show people something else, rather than just complain, I?ll answer questions if they?re asked but it?s not something I like to focus on.)
For those reading who may not know, Me Before You is a drama film based on a novel of the same name, that as far as I can gather is about a disabled guy that falls in love with his caregiver and eventually kills himself rather than live like that and burden her with his care, so it?s basically like Million Dollar Baby but without all the Clint Eastwood and boxing.
For the people who basically want to know my opinion, I don?t really have one, I haven?t seen the film, and I don?t think I will. It just doesn?t seem like the kind of thing I?d enjoy, and after having read some reviews it doesn?t sound like a particularly good version of that kind of thing for those that do, even independent of the controversy (such as it is).
Okay so let?s start with why people are upset, I just gave a brief summary and probably huge oversimplification of the plot, after a bit of research there isn?t that much more to it apart from the minor details that the guy was not born disabled and acquired a spinal injury and with it quadriplegia, and that he?s also rich because if he wasn?t finding him attractive would just be weird wouldn?t it?
Essentially the reason people are upset is because the film allegedly romanticises suicide for the disabled, or at least normalises it, enforcing the idea that a life with a disability is not worth living and that disability and dignity are mutually exclusive, which is far from a new thing in cinema (all while using the hilariously hypocritical tagline ?live boldly?, a reference to the character?s last words to his caregiver via a letter) which is mixed messages to say the least (interestingly, apparently in the book he simply asked her to ?live well? which is slightly less contradictory, and makes me wonder why they went with the change,) I?ve heard a lot of people call this a ?disability snuff film.?
To be absolutely honest my biggest criticism of that premise is not that I find it offensive, I just find it lazy, a cheap shot at trying to get a sad ending in there to make the film more affecting than it has earned the right to be (remembering of course that all of this is conjecture, I?ve not seen the film and probably won?t.) and it hints at a lack of research, I can?t speak to the experience either, as I don?t have quadriplegia, though people seem to think that since I use a wheelchair that?s close enough, It really isn?t.
Again, I don?t have quadriplegia, so I don?t feel in the right to complain about any portrayal of it, I can?t honestly say I wouldn?t consider suicide because I don?t know what it?s like, for someone with Cerebral Palsy I?m actually quite low on the scale of actually being handicapped by it, I use a wheelchair outside, but I could easily get about on my knees without one if it were socially acceptable to do so outside of my house, I was also born with it, so I can?t speak to the shock of suddenly acquiring a disability as I?ve never known anything else. That said, the suicide thing does strike me as a lazy stock ending, this film in my eyes is guiltier of failing to raise my interest than offending me.
The thing that annoys me most about the whole situation surrounding this film, is the bombardment of assumptions that I, along with any other even slightly disabled people, regardless of severity, circumstance or context, must give a shit, I really don?t. As far as I?m concerned this whole debacle has only served to allow an average-to-mediocre film (if the critics consensus on Rotten Tomatoes is to be believed) more attention than it deserved to have, which only helps the film, and if anything will probably encourage more like it because controversy is very profitable.
I?m not going to say I can?t see why a lot of disabled people are a bit upset over this film, I?m not even going to say they?re wrong to feel that way, it?s not my place to decide that. If you really want to get into the politics of it I?d say the bigger problem (of which both sides of the argument are guilty) is the grouping together of disabled people as one entity. It?s not a community, I don?t know Stephen Hawking and I resent the assumption that I automatically give a shit about other disabled people, because unless I know them, I probably don?t. (I have this argument with my mother every time she scolds me for not watching the Paralympics because I?m ?supposed to be inspired.?)
In summary, in regard to the film, I don?t think it was meant to offend, I?m a big fan of Hanlon?s razor as a principle with these things, never attribute to malice what is more easily explained by carelessness or stupidity. Also, unless you yourself have quadriplegia, I think it?s a bit presumptuous to get offended by the notion of someone with it choosing to end their own life. I don?t know what it?s like, and neither do you, having said that, it does feel like taking the easy way out to end the film that way.
So my conjecture is, the worst thing Me Before You appears guilty of, is getting a lot of attention without necessarily being a compelling enough film to warrant it. I?m more annoyed with the people who assume I?d be offended than I am with the film itself.
ie. It's the story of an actual relationship.
