I am back from my coke and booze binge to bring you the long overdue Half Life 2: Episode 3 DearS review.
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Previously on Timotei Anime Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.156514-Timotei-Anime-Review-Kodomo-no-Jikan#3852686]
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Previously on Timotei Anime Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.156514-Timotei-Anime-Review-Kodomo-no-Jikan#3852686]
[HEADING=1]Timotei reviews: DearS[/HEADING]
The Chipettes singing their new hit single.
My heart sank when I read the categories and saw the dreaded phrase: ecchi. That word which I dread more than "fanservice". I went into DearS thinking it to be nothing but a show of tits and ass with no substance whatsoever, which thankfully ended up being false to an extent.
I wasn't so confident with the DearS at first, especially after having to sit through the one the strangest opening themes I have ever seen. For one, it barely even passes as credible and is sung by what I can guess are female versions of Alvin and the Chipmunks, featuring large breasts, big hair, dog collars, skin tight suits, F/F kissing, a lady in revealing lingerie with a whip, and two partial nude shots, all while singing a song with the lyrics "I'm your slave". I dare anyone to watch this OP while on acid (remember to have a friend there, just in case. Have a nice trip).
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[HEADING=3]Overview[/HEADING]
Prior to listening to the Chippettes sing about their conditions of servitude, we bare witness a large movers truck swerving to avoid a cat only to tip over and lose its contents, which happens to be a container of sorts. Inside this container is an unconscious woman.
The first episode kicks off with some typical live-alone teenager named Takeya Ikuhara having to be woken up by six alarm clocks and his childhood friend Neneko Izumi. Neneko commands Takeya to get ready for school and decides to watch the news until then. We learn instantly that it has been a full year since a race of aliens calling themself the "DearS" had crash landed in a bay in Tokyo. The show isn't even halfway through the first episode and already this series screams "District 9", but don't start forming the plot yet, we still have bucket loads of for-the-audience exposition to go through and you will sit there and eat all of it, otherwise you are not getting dessert.
[Img_Inline Caption="Neneko engaging in her favorite activity." Align="left"]http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww46/Suiseiseki_IRL/Review%20pictures/DearS/Capture04.jpg[/Img_Inline]
The DearS are a humanoid, mainly female race who are aesthetically pleasing in every way. Even the only two male DearS who appear are hawt. In the span of a year they have have been able to attain complete mastery of almost every Earth language which they hear and every other aspect of living on Earth, including but not limited to cooking, cleaning, and sports. You'd think that after a year that mankind (or America at least) would have found some reason to blow their wrecked ship skyhigh, however the world seems to have accepted the DearS with open arms and religion in no way has collapsed (ya know, with the whole "aliens defy God, 'he crafted us in his image' thing"). But this is anime, so if you can't accept pseudo-reality then you're better off going back to your Michael Moore documentaries
So Takeya and Neneko get to class and socialize as usual with their friends (except for Neneko, who has none). With a brief conversation we learn that Takeya works at a porn video store (I am not fucking kidding) and talks about a fight he and his boss had over a DVD. He also seems to be in the contraband business as he hands off DVDs to his friend Hikoro, who happens to be the president of the three-member DearS fan club. Porn dealing at school and an excuse for a fan club, potential for something even more out of the blue? Why yes there, wait till you see the teacher, who let's just say is a bit (understatement) *ahem* "eccentric". So after school Takeya and Hikoro take a walk to the bakery Hikoro's parents (who are never really shown) run. Through the little chat they have we come to find that Takeya is very suspicious of aliens and doesn't seem to trust the DearS that much based on the "two-face" argument.
On the way back home Takeya comes across a blue-haired (
[Img_Inline Caption="Takeya conducting his perfectly legal business with a minor." Align="right"]http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww46/Suiseiseki_IRL/Review%20pictures/DearS/Capture03.jpg[/Img_Inline]
Takeya wakes up the next morning with a scream and a tossing of his covers, thinking this is all a dream. So he lies back down only to discover the girl curled up in his bed next to him. Chobits wants its joke back. He reluctantly gives her some clothes and some bread for the night before. The alarms go off and Neneko shows up and the girl is still sitting half naked in his room. Hiding time. After school Neneko gives us a puzzle piece to the picture that is the DearS, though not much is really new. Takeya comes home to find Ms. Blue still in the closet where he had left her. After a quick feeding Takeya is able to get her to say her name; Ren Ren Ren Nagusaran Rensia Rorooren Nakora (rolls right off the tongue don't it?). He decides to call her
From there the show is a series of blunders, misunderstandings, and a full hour combined of Takeya's muppet-like screaming. Ren is able to learn Japanese from some books given to her by Neneko, Ren enrolls at Takeya's school after a misunderstanding that another DearS would attend, more recurring jokes develop, yada yada yada hey this road seems familiar. Things get interesting with the introduction of another DearS named Miu, who through her superior skills has become the Human-DearS liason. She exists in the show only to add contrast to the "incompetent" Ren and teach her to be a productive member of the DearS community, like herself. Through her attempts of teaching Ren to be obedient to her master Takeya, she herself grows envious of Ren's servitude. Through the series her actions slowly brush off the dust on the book of DearS history and culture until she gives a huge blow and outright reveals the so far obvious bold print on the cover. Oh, and let's not forget Takeya's sister. Boy, what a spoiled little ***** she is lemmetellya.
[Img_Inline Caption="You gonna get raped." Align="left"]http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww46/Suiseiseki_IRL/Review%20pictures/DearS/Capture08.jpg[/Img_Inline]
As with every anime that includes a runaway, there are the usual copypasta antagonists who are desperately looking for the missing Zero Number. There is the hardass villain who is a lingerie wearing, whip cracking *****, the silent hitman, and the clumsy fool. The fool in this show is named Nia, and happens to look like a cat in the producer's laughably sad attempts at making her moe. I like to consider her DearS's Suiseiseki, as she ends every sentence with "nya~" without fail. Fuck, she'll even sing it while she's just walking along sometimes. With Nia's incompetence, it's no wonder they continue to fail to capture Ren. However, you do begin to wonder why Ms. Whippy continues to trust the little bumbling feline dumbass and her master (apprentice-wise) Xaki, who only does something at the end of the show after Nia's countless attempts. All of which can best be compared to Kanaria's attempts at breaking into Jun's house.
Everything wraps up nicely in the end and the DearS community is able to integrate themselves even more with humanity, all is good. No DearS being used as experimental target practice, no energy weapons, no battle mechs, no corruption, just plain, boring peace. That's actually a little too bad, I would have loved to see both the teacher and Takeya's sister blasted to smithereens by some super kawaii DearS mech; preferably piloted by the by the green haired male because he has yet to show he has a pair.
Peach-Pit also released a 14th episode which is supposed to take place between episodes 9 and 10. In one of the most unoriginal moves in history, they decided to call it episode 9.5. I'm not going to explain what it is.
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An Emmy worthy example of English voice acting.
The voice acting for the Japanese dub is actually very nice. There are some familiar voices and others who, despite not even being able to brag that they have a Wikipedia article about them, still put on a good performance. I'm one who likes to watch dubs whenever possible, but the English actors sucked a foot-long on this one. The only thing that would have made the dubs any worse was if there was an audio delay while streaming, and in that case this review probably would never get finished because I'd have blown my brains against the nearest white wall. These people need to get a lesson from Al Pacino, Tom Hanks, and Daniel Day Lewis on how to show some fucking emotion. Mind you not all of them are bad, but the person playing Takeya deserves to be haunted by his lack of performance.
The writing is decent at best. The show tends to milk the same jokes over and over again to the point where you can tell and time exactly what is going to happen, but it's like watching the Three Stooges. You see Curly holding a long plank of wood length wise and you just know Moe and Larry are going to get hit on the head, and then Moe is going to bop Curly for hitting him, but that doesn't mean you won't laugh when it happens.
[Img_Inline Caption="What the fu...?" Align="left"]http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww46/Suiseiseki_IRL/Review%20pictures/DearS/Capture13.jpg[/Img_Inline]
[HEADING=3]Sound[/HEADING]
As with almost all Peach-Pit anime you can expect some good audio work. The sound is all right, if lacking in the field of clarity (this doesn't seem to dampen the experience).
The music on the other hand smells of Mitsumune Shinkichi. This is most prominent during some of the silly moments when you hear music almost similar to that of Rozen Maiden.
[HEADING=3]Art[/HEADING]
The art is standard and could stand for some minor improvements. You get the P-P deal with the occasional chibi scenes similar to several other comedies. Nothing I'm sure you haven't seen already and everything you come to expect from an echhi.
The animation could be better. Mind you, this anime is only a few years old --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------and was funded with bake sale revenues, but it still passes as adequate.
[HEADING=3]The Teacher[/HEADING]
You rarely find an anime character that I wish a horrid death upon, but the teacher deserves a death worse than the mind of James Rolfe could fathom. Her voice in the Japanese dub is head-splittingly annoying, especially when she gets to her almost orgasmic screams. My best advice for watching the sections where the teacher is on screen, is to just turn off your speakers entirely. It's also embarrassing just how much of her skin they attempt to expose. And yet, there is actually a reason for her nymphatic behavior, which I found to be a perfectly logical explanation. Upon discovering the secret to her eccentricities I tensed my lower lip and nodded in satisfaction. This happens very rarely...which still didn't make me hate her any less..
[Img_Inline Caption="Srsly! WTF?" Align=""]http://i704.photobucket.com/albums/ww46/Suiseiseki_IRL/Review%20pictures/DearS/Capture11.jpg[/Img_Inline]
[HEADING=3]Final Comments[/HEADING]
I strongly believe that If Kyoto Animation were Infinity Ward, then Peach-Pit would be Naughty Dog. They may not make anime that becomes cultural phenomena, but they sure do know how to take a manga and turn it into a good show. It's fun to watch and has a waist-deep story that you can get somewhat immersed in, until you look down at your waist and realize your standing in a pool of bare skin, long hair, boobs, and jokes that couldn't be more dead if they had been burned, bludgeoned, then shot through the head several times before being eviscerated. I will admit the studio made a clever move by providing momentary yet humorously placed breaks from the story to show us the headmaster of the high school tending to his private garden on the school grounds, housewives buying food from a merchant, or Hirofumi seducing another girl. It's a nice move on the writers part and can sometimes act as Terry Gilliam cartoons transitioning from one scene to the next.
DearS tried hard, but in my self-proclaimed pseudo-professional opinion, I felt it could have done more than just be a laughing stock of wreaking, recurring jokes.
[HEADING=2]FINAL SCORE: 7/10[/HEADING]
*seal under construction*
[small][sup]
Review by: Timotei
Editing by: Amnestic - NeutralDrow
Inquisition by: Kuchinawa212 - KValentine
Line ASK Productions 2010[/sup][/small]
*seal under construction*
[HEADING=3]Now and Then, Here and There[/HEADING]
We delve into the philosophy of war.
We delve into the philosophy of war.
Justice isn't so great today.
Oh wait...
Oh wait...
[small][sup]
Review by: Timotei
Editing by: Amnestic - NeutralDrow
Inquisition by: Kuchinawa212 - KValentine
Line ASK Productions 2010[/sup][/small]