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I think, for the first time, I'm actually catching the entire pre-show. I tried for the last PPV, but I thought it was only 30 minutes, even though it turned out to be an hour. It's not like a lot every happens on the pre-show, but it's still WWE programming, and it's sometimes interesting. There's a match on it this time, so that's something, too. Mostly it's just talking and hyping, but it can be fun, I guess.
I figure that this would be a show more helpful for people who haven't been following WWE programming on a weekly basis, since they establish what's been going on. But, for those of us who do, then there's really not much reason to pay attention.
There is a bit of a furthering to the Miz/Naomi/Uso storyline, as Miz and Naomi talk about how he'll only help her get signed by a talent agency if he's champion by the end of the night. This is the first time Miz has looked more like a heel than a face in this feud. And Dolph Ziggler answered some tweets.
The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston, with Xavier Woods) vs. Goldust and Stardust
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An early botch involved Kofi Kingston falling down and embarrassing himself. It was funny. We all know Goldust loves botches, too. This happens maybe 30 seconds into the match, so we're off to a good start. Kofi later completely misses a mid-air dropkick, too. I didn't think he'd be the one messing up in a match featuring Big E.
The match isn't exactly bad, though. I mean, it's a pretty standard tag team match, and would have been better with Woods in the match instead of Big E, but I suppose we'll just have to settle for this. The match almost feels too long, and despite Kofi and Stardust being involved in a good portion of its middle, it's surprisingly slow-paced. The New Day winds up winning with that double team move that they do with Big E and whichever high-flyer he's teamed with. They should have been disqualified, since Big E stayed in the ring for more than five seconds after being tagged out, but who cares about rules?
Match Rating: **1/2
There's more talk and more video hype after the match, but none of it is particularly interesting. We do find out that the first match of TLC is going to be for the Intercontinental Championship, though, which seems like a pretty awesome way to open up the PPV.
<color=red>WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper
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Ladder matches are basically spot-fests, and they can be lots of fun. The goal, for those who don't know, is to climb a ladder in the middle of the ring and grab the title that's hanging above. In order to have the time to climb, you have to seriously injure your opponent so they won't get up and stop you. Hence the big spots.
Harper dominates the opening of the match, probably because Ziggler is one of the best sellers on the roster. You genuinely believe he's hurt every time he gets a ladder thrown at him. Harper has a diving spot to the outside that looked so painful. His arm gets cut open and the amount of pain he looked in appeared to be real. There are some more spots that look like they hurt very much, but nothing quite like how Harper landed in that spot.
The rest of the match involves lots of high-risk spots, both Superstars bumping like crazy, and a whole bunch of times where it looks like someone's going to win, only to be foiled by the other. It's slow, but that's fine. It's got blood, it's got spots that look incredibly painful, and it's very entertaining.
Ziggler winds up winning after a long and painful bout. That is a great way to open the PPV.
Match Rating: ****
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. The Miz and Damien Sandow
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Well, at least The Usos usually bring it on PPV, even if they're boring on a weekly basis. This is a match that exists more for comedy and a break between more hardcore matches, since, well, anything with Sandow in it lately is a joke. Sandow emulates all of Miz's moves, and winds up being more enjoyable than the match itself a lot of the time.
Miz spends most of the match in the ring, all while we all hope that Sandow gets tagged in. Once again, Sandow should get disqualified, since he enters the ring without being tagged in and remains there for more than five seconds. But, again, who cares about rules?
Miz and Sandow grab their titles amd Slammys partway through this match and try to leave. An Uso goes for an outside splash. He hits Sandow, and then Miz hits him with the Slammy. The Miz and Sandow are disqualified, but they retain their championships.
Match Rating: ***
Seth Rollins is interviewed backstage after the match. He says that The Authority should be here. He gets mad at Sting and then says John Cena will pay.
<color=red>Steel Stairs Match: Big Show vs. Erick Rowan
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So, there are no DQs and no count outs, so why do the Superstars stick only to using stairs? They could use literally anything, if there are no DQs, any yet they're only using stairs. Whatever. Suspension of disbelief and all that.
So, there's a bit of creativity here, but it's as uninteresting as you'd expect. It's big people lifting big and slow objects that don't really impact the other person with much force. I'm sure the stairs can hurt, but they don't look like it as much as a chair does, for example, and it takes much longer to do anything with them. The biggest spot in the match was partially ruined because Big Show rolled out of the way too late. A spear through stacked-up stairs should have been great but really wasn't anything special. This is a failed experiment.
Big Show wins after a chokeslam, a WMD, and a pin using the stairs. I guess that's WWE's way of making Rowan still seem strong, but ... not really.
Match Rating: **
<color=red>Tables Match: Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) vs. John Cena
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Paul Heyman is at ringside. The goal of this match, for those unaware, is to be the first man to put his opponent through a table. It's hilarious when tables don't break when they're supposed to, and it's what we all secretly hope for.
Despite the no-DQ stipulation that comes with a tables match, Noble and Mercury stay at ringside, only interfering every now and then, and mostly coming in the form of trying to take tables away from Cena. They could be in the match for its entirety, but aren't. At first I thought that was stupid, but it's actually pretty smart. They're safer out there and can pick and choose their spots. Cena does eventually attack Noble, effectively "eliminating" him from the match. He does the same to Mercury a couple of minutes later.
The match is nowhere near as exciting as one might hope. It involves a lot of failed table spots and very little else. It's slow, uninvolving, and should all be building to something, but never really does. The problem with tables matches is that they consists solely of stopping spots we want to see, unlike TLC or ladder matches, which deliver on those spots.
Cena winds up putting Rollins through a table, but the referee was knocked down, and therefore didn?t' see it. Noble and Mercury made a miraculous recovery and hid the evidence and beat up Cena. Cena eventually hits a double AA on them, which was a swell enough spot. Then both men go through the table at the same time, conveniently just as the referee was getting up, so the bell is rung. Three referees go to the ring to figure out a winner. One picks Cena, one picks Rollins, and then the match gets restarted.
Cena tries to AA Rollins through the announcer's table, which resulted in Michael Cole taking a hilarious "bump," but the table didn't break so Cena got another table and got into the ring. But then Big Show comes down to the ring. Seriously? Ugh. But then Roman Reigns comes down and attacks Big Show. Show gets speared through a table, Rollins gets punched, Cena hits an AA on Rollins through the table, and Cena wins.
Match Rating: ***
The kickoff show panel does some talking about Cena/Lesnar, and then Nikki and Brie Bella are interviewed backstage. Apparently blood is thicker than water, which is why Brie and Nikki are friends again. Sure. Whatever.
WWE Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella)
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Nikki dominates for most of the match, because AJ is really good at selling. Nikki gets to show off her power offense, and AJ gets to sell and show us she's really, really flexible. AJ eventually does get to mount some offense, ensuring this isn't a one-move victory like she's had a bunch of on TV. Brie Bella puts Nikki's foot on the bottom rope and she winds up getting ejected. Using that distraction, Nikki sprays something in AJ's face and hits the Rack Attack for the win.
Match Rating: **1/2
Roman Reigns is interviewed backstage. He really shouldn't get time on the mic. He says he's going to do really well at the Royal Rumble. After flubbing his lines and looking like he forgot his later lines. I'm glad he took acting classes. They totally helped.
Wait, no they didn't.
<color=red>Chairs Match: Kane vs. Ryback
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So, another no-DQ match, but this time they're only going to use chairs for some reason. At least that makes more sense, plus chairs look like they hurt a lot more.
Kane and Ryback do get to do some creative things with the chairs, and, like I said earlier, they work a lot better than stairs or tables for inflicting punishment. Kane and Ryback had a strong legitimate match on TV a few weeks ago, and that's probably better than this overall, but this one does have its moments.
I mean, it's too long and completely uninvolving, but at least it's not quite as dull as Rowan/Show from earlier in the night. Ryback winds up winning with a Shell Shock after previously kicking out of a chokeslam and countering a Tombstone Piledriver.
Match Rating: **1/2
WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev (with Lana) vs. Jack Swagger
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Lana tried to cut a promo before the match, but she was cut off by Swagger's entrance music. Rusev reminds us how good he is at long-term selling by hobbling around on the ankle that Swagger keeps locking in the Patriot Lock.
It looked like this was going to be a squash match, but Swagger eventually fought out of The Accolade. It took like two minutes. Two minutes of Rusev just sitting on top of Swagger, and Swagger looking like he was knocked out. Boring. Rusev with a couple of kicks and another Accolade puts away Swagger. It was still pretty squashy.
Match Rating: **
<color=red>TLC Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
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Ambrose brings a small ladder to the ring with him. He throws it at Wyatt before his opponent can even get into the ring. Ambrose takes Wyatt into the crowd. So it's an extreme rules match? At this point I hadn't even heard a bell, and I was wondering if the match technically had even started.
The two use chairs, ladders, tables, and kendo sticks, so I guess we should rename the PPV again, huh? Really, this is just an extreme rules match. Or, better yet, a "hardcore spot" match.
There are some interesting and creative spots in this match. A kendo stick to the face sure is all kinds of fun, for example. It's basically hardcore spot after hardcore spot, which is enjoyable.
But you know what? There's no discernable goal for a lot of the match, save for "do whatever spots looks like it'll hurt the most." You get burned out on that. The reason Ziggler/Harper was a better match than this one was because there was always a point to what was happening. This one is random carnage followed by more random carnage. Fun carnage, extreme carnage, but still random carnage. Lots of it takes place away from the ring, meaning there's no chance for a victory right after.
It eventually gets more focused, and in the ring, which is nice. A couple of finishers are even kicked out of. But then it gets sidetracked again trying to top itself with more spots. Ambrose jumps off several ladders in this match, and he puts Wyatt through several tables. There's even an exploding TV. That last one allows Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail and pick up the win.
Match Rating: ***1/2
The Good: Ziggler/Harper. Rollins/Cena. Ambrose/Wyatt.
The Bad: Show/Rowan. Rusev/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper.
Prediction Score: 6/9.
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I think, for the first time, I'm actually catching the entire pre-show. I tried for the last PPV, but I thought it was only 30 minutes, even though it turned out to be an hour. It's not like a lot every happens on the pre-show, but it's still WWE programming, and it's sometimes interesting. There's a match on it this time, so that's something, too. Mostly it's just talking and hyping, but it can be fun, I guess.
I figure that this would be a show more helpful for people who haven't been following WWE programming on a weekly basis, since they establish what's been going on. But, for those of us who do, then there's really not much reason to pay attention.
There is a bit of a furthering to the Miz/Naomi/Uso storyline, as Miz and Naomi talk about how he'll only help her get signed by a talent agency if he's champion by the end of the night. This is the first time Miz has looked more like a heel than a face in this feud. And Dolph Ziggler answered some tweets.
The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston, with Xavier Woods) vs. Goldust and Stardust
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An early botch involved Kofi Kingston falling down and embarrassing himself. It was funny. We all know Goldust loves botches, too. This happens maybe 30 seconds into the match, so we're off to a good start. Kofi later completely misses a mid-air dropkick, too. I didn't think he'd be the one messing up in a match featuring Big E.
The match isn't exactly bad, though. I mean, it's a pretty standard tag team match, and would have been better with Woods in the match instead of Big E, but I suppose we'll just have to settle for this. The match almost feels too long, and despite Kofi and Stardust being involved in a good portion of its middle, it's surprisingly slow-paced. The New Day winds up winning with that double team move that they do with Big E and whichever high-flyer he's teamed with. They should have been disqualified, since Big E stayed in the ring for more than five seconds after being tagged out, but who cares about rules?
Match Rating: **1/2
There's more talk and more video hype after the match, but none of it is particularly interesting. We do find out that the first match of TLC is going to be for the Intercontinental Championship, though, which seems like a pretty awesome way to open up the PPV.
<color=red>WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper
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Ladder matches are basically spot-fests, and they can be lots of fun. The goal, for those who don't know, is to climb a ladder in the middle of the ring and grab the title that's hanging above. In order to have the time to climb, you have to seriously injure your opponent so they won't get up and stop you. Hence the big spots.
Harper dominates the opening of the match, probably because Ziggler is one of the best sellers on the roster. You genuinely believe he's hurt every time he gets a ladder thrown at him. Harper has a diving spot to the outside that looked so painful. His arm gets cut open and the amount of pain he looked in appeared to be real. There are some more spots that look like they hurt very much, but nothing quite like how Harper landed in that spot.
The rest of the match involves lots of high-risk spots, both Superstars bumping like crazy, and a whole bunch of times where it looks like someone's going to win, only to be foiled by the other. It's slow, but that's fine. It's got blood, it's got spots that look incredibly painful, and it's very entertaining.
Ziggler winds up winning after a long and painful bout. That is a great way to open the PPV.
Match Rating: ****
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. The Miz and Damien Sandow
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Well, at least The Usos usually bring it on PPV, even if they're boring on a weekly basis. This is a match that exists more for comedy and a break between more hardcore matches, since, well, anything with Sandow in it lately is a joke. Sandow emulates all of Miz's moves, and winds up being more enjoyable than the match itself a lot of the time.
Miz spends most of the match in the ring, all while we all hope that Sandow gets tagged in. Once again, Sandow should get disqualified, since he enters the ring without being tagged in and remains there for more than five seconds. But, again, who cares about rules?
Miz and Sandow grab their titles amd Slammys partway through this match and try to leave. An Uso goes for an outside splash. He hits Sandow, and then Miz hits him with the Slammy. The Miz and Sandow are disqualified, but they retain their championships.
Match Rating: ***
Seth Rollins is interviewed backstage after the match. He says that The Authority should be here. He gets mad at Sting and then says John Cena will pay.
<color=red>Steel Stairs Match: Big Show vs. Erick Rowan
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So, there are no DQs and no count outs, so why do the Superstars stick only to using stairs? They could use literally anything, if there are no DQs, any yet they're only using stairs. Whatever. Suspension of disbelief and all that.
So, there's a bit of creativity here, but it's as uninteresting as you'd expect. It's big people lifting big and slow objects that don't really impact the other person with much force. I'm sure the stairs can hurt, but they don't look like it as much as a chair does, for example, and it takes much longer to do anything with them. The biggest spot in the match was partially ruined because Big Show rolled out of the way too late. A spear through stacked-up stairs should have been great but really wasn't anything special. This is a failed experiment.
Big Show wins after a chokeslam, a WMD, and a pin using the stairs. I guess that's WWE's way of making Rowan still seem strong, but ... not really.
Match Rating: **
<color=red>Tables Match: Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) vs. John Cena
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Paul Heyman is at ringside. The goal of this match, for those unaware, is to be the first man to put his opponent through a table. It's hilarious when tables don't break when they're supposed to, and it's what we all secretly hope for.
Despite the no-DQ stipulation that comes with a tables match, Noble and Mercury stay at ringside, only interfering every now and then, and mostly coming in the form of trying to take tables away from Cena. They could be in the match for its entirety, but aren't. At first I thought that was stupid, but it's actually pretty smart. They're safer out there and can pick and choose their spots. Cena does eventually attack Noble, effectively "eliminating" him from the match. He does the same to Mercury a couple of minutes later.
The match is nowhere near as exciting as one might hope. It involves a lot of failed table spots and very little else. It's slow, uninvolving, and should all be building to something, but never really does. The problem with tables matches is that they consists solely of stopping spots we want to see, unlike TLC or ladder matches, which deliver on those spots.
Cena winds up putting Rollins through a table, but the referee was knocked down, and therefore didn?t' see it. Noble and Mercury made a miraculous recovery and hid the evidence and beat up Cena. Cena eventually hits a double AA on them, which was a swell enough spot. Then both men go through the table at the same time, conveniently just as the referee was getting up, so the bell is rung. Three referees go to the ring to figure out a winner. One picks Cena, one picks Rollins, and then the match gets restarted.
Cena tries to AA Rollins through the announcer's table, which resulted in Michael Cole taking a hilarious "bump," but the table didn't break so Cena got another table and got into the ring. But then Big Show comes down to the ring. Seriously? Ugh. But then Roman Reigns comes down and attacks Big Show. Show gets speared through a table, Rollins gets punched, Cena hits an AA on Rollins through the table, and Cena wins.
Match Rating: ***
The kickoff show panel does some talking about Cena/Lesnar, and then Nikki and Brie Bella are interviewed backstage. Apparently blood is thicker than water, which is why Brie and Nikki are friends again. Sure. Whatever.
WWE Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella)
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Nikki dominates for most of the match, because AJ is really good at selling. Nikki gets to show off her power offense, and AJ gets to sell and show us she's really, really flexible. AJ eventually does get to mount some offense, ensuring this isn't a one-move victory like she's had a bunch of on TV. Brie Bella puts Nikki's foot on the bottom rope and she winds up getting ejected. Using that distraction, Nikki sprays something in AJ's face and hits the Rack Attack for the win.
Match Rating: **1/2
Roman Reigns is interviewed backstage. He really shouldn't get time on the mic. He says he's going to do really well at the Royal Rumble. After flubbing his lines and looking like he forgot his later lines. I'm glad he took acting classes. They totally helped.
Wait, no they didn't.
<color=red>Chairs Match: Kane vs. Ryback
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So, another no-DQ match, but this time they're only going to use chairs for some reason. At least that makes more sense, plus chairs look like they hurt a lot more.
Kane and Ryback do get to do some creative things with the chairs, and, like I said earlier, they work a lot better than stairs or tables for inflicting punishment. Kane and Ryback had a strong legitimate match on TV a few weeks ago, and that's probably better than this overall, but this one does have its moments.
I mean, it's too long and completely uninvolving, but at least it's not quite as dull as Rowan/Show from earlier in the night. Ryback winds up winning with a Shell Shock after previously kicking out of a chokeslam and countering a Tombstone Piledriver.
Match Rating: **1/2
WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev (with Lana) vs. Jack Swagger
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Lana tried to cut a promo before the match, but she was cut off by Swagger's entrance music. Rusev reminds us how good he is at long-term selling by hobbling around on the ankle that Swagger keeps locking in the Patriot Lock.
It looked like this was going to be a squash match, but Swagger eventually fought out of The Accolade. It took like two minutes. Two minutes of Rusev just sitting on top of Swagger, and Swagger looking like he was knocked out. Boring. Rusev with a couple of kicks and another Accolade puts away Swagger. It was still pretty squashy.
Match Rating: **
<color=red>TLC Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
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Ambrose brings a small ladder to the ring with him. He throws it at Wyatt before his opponent can even get into the ring. Ambrose takes Wyatt into the crowd. So it's an extreme rules match? At this point I hadn't even heard a bell, and I was wondering if the match technically had even started.
The two use chairs, ladders, tables, and kendo sticks, so I guess we should rename the PPV again, huh? Really, this is just an extreme rules match. Or, better yet, a "hardcore spot" match.
There are some interesting and creative spots in this match. A kendo stick to the face sure is all kinds of fun, for example. It's basically hardcore spot after hardcore spot, which is enjoyable.
But you know what? There's no discernable goal for a lot of the match, save for "do whatever spots looks like it'll hurt the most." You get burned out on that. The reason Ziggler/Harper was a better match than this one was because there was always a point to what was happening. This one is random carnage followed by more random carnage. Fun carnage, extreme carnage, but still random carnage. Lots of it takes place away from the ring, meaning there's no chance for a victory right after.
It eventually gets more focused, and in the ring, which is nice. A couple of finishers are even kicked out of. But then it gets sidetracked again trying to top itself with more spots. Ambrose jumps off several ladders in this match, and he puts Wyatt through several tables. There's even an exploding TV. That last one allows Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail and pick up the win.
Match Rating: ***1/2
The Good: Ziggler/Harper. Rollins/Cena. Ambrose/Wyatt.
The Bad: Show/Rowan. Rusev/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper.
Prediction Score: 6/9.
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