Toilet Paper Substitutes

[HateDread]

Hey,

Emergency at Gate 2. No toilet paper, tissues, or paper-towel. I need to go. Help me, fast!

(Hygienic suggestions only, please)

I Gotta Go! HURRY!

-HateDread

 

[LaxLuster]

Thumb it and wash your hands.

Socks also work if you don't mind wasting a pair.

 

[fix-the-spade]

Nettles.

Go on, I dares yer!

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

A book (sacrilege I know but whatever)
A newspaper (beware of ink streaks)
Kitchen roll (look harder)
Tissues (ditto to above)
Can't think of much else, you could user some clothing but you'd have to dump it far away and fast.

Edit: adding more:

Leaves
bark, if you have very good aim.

Where are you? It changes the response.

 

[HateDread]

Inside, at home. 1:30 AM (Australia). I gotta go! I'm looking but I can't find the clean stuff!

 

[LaxLuster]

Dude... phone book... newspaper... there should be PLENTY of options.

Sears catalogue... >=)

 

[x434343]

Hmm. Napkin. Hell, if you don't mind ye bum hurting, paper.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Inside, at home. 1:30 AM (Australia). I gotta go! I'm looking but I can't find the clean stuff!

You're kidding me right?

Newspaper, book, magazine, old pillow case, napkin or bread and that's just off the top of my head for a home situation. Christ, If it's that bad an old game manual.

A house is LOADED with toilet paper substitutes.

 

[Mariena]

... towel? Then wash it afterwards?

There's not much need for desperation with so many options.

 

[fd18e3d0-816e-11e4-b4a9-0800200c9a66]

It can't be that urgent if you have time to create this thread and reply to the responses, surely in that time you could have found a substitute. Any old Christmas cards knocking around?

 

[AboveUp]

If it's such an emergency that you can take your time and post about it on an internet forum, you should be able to... oh I don't know, go to the neighbors and bother them with an embarrassing problem, rather than having it imprinted in the memories of hundreds of users on a message board (not to mention archived, possibly linked to others in order to ridicule etc etc etc).

 

[rossatdi]

Just shower afterwards.

 

[edargh]

You could try washing it out in the shower afterwards......

 

[chimmers]

I'm sorry but I need to know, how does the story end?

 

[Sennz0r]

This is actually quite sad. Is this what the Escapist has become?

 

[AnotherFineMess]

Sacrifice a sock!

Remember, its ok if its for the greater good.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

This is actually quite sad. Is this what the Escapist has become?

How is someone supposed to learn if the teacher does not seek to help them?
We all have our false starts, he (probably) just needs time to acclimatize.

 

[Sennz0r]

This is actually quite sad. Is this what the Escapist has become?

How is someone supposed to learn if the teacher does not seek to help them?
We all have our false starts, he (probably) just needs time to acclimatize.

I would seek to help him if it were actually an issue you could say more about than "please don't make a thread for any random thing you come up with." I know I didn't say that before so: Could you please refrain from putting any and all random thoughts you might have into a thread immediately without thinking through whether it would be a good idea first, please? Thank you.

Also, enabling doesn't help that well either.