Toothpaste tubers

[Cxizent]

Any COD4 players should hopefully get the very clever, high intelligent and multi-layered joke in the title. Ahem.

I used the search button, and this thread didn't exist yet, so here goes:

I'm so sick of living/sharing toothpaste with people who squeeze it from the middle. I'm not even kidding, it drives me bonkers. I go to squeeze my toothpaste, and I take loving care to gently caress the tube and massage all the paste up to the end (Freudian motif unintended (I suppose that's what makes it Freudian)), to then be met the very next night with a disgusting, mutilated tube that my brother has clumsily closed his ham-hands on with all the finesse of a meat grinder, and squeezed the middle as hard as he possibly can with his chubby paw.

Honestly, it's so much easier to use if the tube doesn't keep sagging at the end due to lack of structural integrity because all the damn paste is chillin' in the backseat, and when you get to the end of the tube, it gets rolled up and thrown away. In conclusion, my method (the right one) is more graceful, easier on the user and also the tube, saves more effort and toothpaste in the longrun, and is ultimately just plain better than mashing the middle.

Glad to get that off my chest.

 

[Arntor]

Okay, I hope you feel better and get that resolved.

...

I can't relate because I just squeeze lightly and brush.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

You can get toothpaste that comes in a bottle where you press down a cap and it comes out the top...

 

[Crystal Cuckoo]

Get your own, secret toothpaste maybe?
Or just threaten your brother by taking something that means a lot to him

 

[Lord Krunk]

That's why I use the little bottle-thingies that I can place upside-down.

Then I don't have to deal with middle-tubers.

 

[The Giggling Pin]

I always squeeze from the middle and i bloody love it. There is a wonderful sense of satisfaction when you ignore the sensible idea and just wring the tubes neck as if it was some sort of white liquid dispensing chicken (er, that sounds quite odd). My old house mate used to hate it and frequently had a go at me and often used threats of violence involving brooms and acts of sexual deviance. This only caused me to do this more often. I suggest getting over it or as a previous poster suggested, get one of those bottles with the magic button that makes it dispense in a fountain like way.

 

[Cxizent]

I always squeeze from the middle and i bloody love it. There is a wonderful sense of satisfaction when you ignore the sensible idea and just wring the tubes neck as if it was some sort of white liquid dispensing chicken (er, that sounds quite odd). My old house mate used to hate it and frequently had a go at me and often used threats of violence involving brooms and acts of sexual deviance. This only caused me to do this more often. I suggest getting over it or as a previous poster suggested, get one of those bottles with the magic button that makes it dispense in a fountain like way.

That made me laugh an incredible amount. Thankyou, good sir.
Also, I wouldn't have thought that I'd have to say "What are your opinions on correct toothpaste ettique? Discuss." To me that seems reasonably inherent.

 

[The Wooster]

In my house we have a twist activated device that ensures all the toothpaste is squeezed into the end. OCD for the win.

 

[The Giggling Pin]

In my house we have a twist activated device that ensures all the toothpaste is squeezed into the end. OCD for the win.

Could you please explain more? I have not seen such a device though i have seen a thing that slides on to the flat bit at the end of the tube and is twisted so that you can get all the paste out but it doesn't actually stop people squeezing from the middle. If your device does indeed stop the brotherhood of middle squeezing i shall have to become very pro-active in the destruction of such a horrible tool.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

You can get toothpaste that comes in a bottle where you press down a cap and it comes out the top...

YOU HAVE CHANGED OUR LIVES, SIR!

Changin' lives, kickin' ass, all in a days work.

 

[Corpse XxX]

I always squeeze from the middle and i bloody love it. There is a wonderful sense of satisfaction when you ignore the sensible idea and just wring the tubes neck as if it was some sort of white liquid dispensing chicken (er, that sounds quite odd). My old house mate used to hate it and frequently had a go at me and often used threats of violence involving brooms and acts of sexual deviance. This only caused me to do this more often. I suggest getting over it or as a previous poster suggested, get one of those bottles with the magic button that makes it dispense in a fountain like way.

Ahh.. I love it!
Do you also piss on the toilet seat just to fuck with people?

 

[The Giggling Pin]

I always squeeze from the middle and i bloody love it. There is a wonderful sense of satisfaction when you ignore the sensible idea and just wring the tubes neck as if it was some sort of white liquid dispensing chicken (er, that sounds quite odd). My old house mate used to hate it and frequently had a go at me and often used threats of violence involving brooms and acts of sexual deviance. This only caused me to do this more often. I suggest getting over it or as a previous poster suggested, get one of those bottles with the magic button that makes it dispense in a fountain like way.

Ahh.. I love it!
Do you also piss on the toilet seat just to fuck with people?

I don't piss on the toilet seat to, as you so eloquently put it, fuck with people but to people i do not like i have been known to urinate on the seat and wipe it clean with their hand towel.

 

[ioxles]

You can get toothpaste that comes in a bottle where you press down a cap and it comes out the top...

YOU HAVE CHANGED OUR LIVES, SIR!

Changin' lives, kickin' ass, all in a days work.

Or you might be using soap... Not that I would know what it would be like to use soap accidentally.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

You can get toothpaste that comes in a bottle where you press down a cap and it comes out the top...

YOU HAVE CHANGED OUR LIVES, SIR!

Changin' lives, kickin' ass, all in a days work.

Or you might be using soap... Not that I would know what it would be like to use soap accidentally.

No...It has colgate flouride toothpaste on the side...and some shit aboutfighting cavaties and the like.

http://www.britsuperstore.com/acatalog/Colgate_Total_Toothpaste_100ml_Pump.jpg

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

MWAH HA HA HA!! I am one of the evil middle-squeezers!!

 

[MarsProbe]

No...It has colgate flouride toothpaste on the side...and some shit aboutfighting cavaties and the like.

http://www.britsuperstore.com/acatalog/Colgate_Total_Toothpaste_100ml_Pump.jpg

Ah yes. The toothpaste dispenser of the gods! Problem solved.