Tough decision

[SwagLordYoloson]

I have this problem with these three girls and it all started like this.

A couple of months ago all my 'friends' (mostly my mates from football) at school are pressuring me into getting laid, its really kind of getting old, they even start to yell out to girls in the hallway and ask them if they would like to *ahem* "ride my jack-hammer". I have told them many times to just let it drop but they refuse to until I get laid.

On Friday nights me and my friends go down to the local hang out, to well hang out, drink a few beers and watch some footy. They get particularly obnoxious down there and often get into trouble, "touching" people. These are the only guys I fit in with, as 60% of the time when they are sober they are really nice guys.

Now down to my predicament, a week ago they decided that they would coerce women into sleeping with me as I am not currently seeking to be sexually active. Now I don't know how they did it buy this week a lot of women have been showing interest in me; winking at me, flirting with me, using suggestive signals.... Just yesterday two sisters asked me for a threesome, I reluctantly declined seeing as I do not think I am ready for this, I have one year left of school and I don't want to get too distracted from my studies by getting involved with relationship dramas.

Two of the girls showing interest in me I have a very strong sexual lust for, as their bodies I would define as perfect, but I have no attraction to them otherwise. There is another girl who I like who isn't showing that 'attention' to me, she works down at the local library and I sometimes go down there and talk to her about my favourite books which she also likes. She has both a sexually pleasing body and a beautiful and charming personality. But she has a boy friend.

I am afraid that if I don't make a move on a woman soon my friends will think I am a woss, and if I do go ahead and sleep with one of the slutty girls then the girl I like will think I am a meat head. So escapists what should I do?

 

[Entropyutd]

The threesome offer sounds like a wind up.

Anyone who tells you different is full of shit, your first time will be over pretty quickly, be awkwards and embarassing.
The last thing you should be looking to do is to lose your virginity with some slapper who will tell all and sundry about your performance.

Wait for someone you have at least formed a relationship with, talk it over first, and make it as comfotable as possible.
(not in the doorway of a warehouse in the pissing rain, like I did.)

 

[ultrachicken]

The threesome offer sounds like a wind up.

Anyone who tells you different is full of shit, your first time will be over pretty quickly, be awkwards and embarassing.
The last thing you should be looking to do is to lose your virginity with some slapper who will tell all and sundry about your performance.

Wait for someone you have at least formed a relationship with, talk it over first, and make it as comfotable as possible.
(not in the doorway of a warehouse in the pissing rain, like I did.)

I agree with this guy. You do not want to just go around fucking people because your friends said so.

There's also the possibility that your friends told a lie about you to get you laid, meaning that when your partner finds out that it isn't true, then you can expect a shitstorm.

 

[dmase]

Wow, great friends... I'm not even joking. Anyways get drunk make a mistake but wear a condom.

If you really feel like waiting you could wait for the bf of the sexy librarian to fuck up.

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

Peer pressure has it's place, but this is something for you to figure out yourself. There's nothing wrong with them giving you a hand or a little push, but it's none of their business whether or not you 'get laid'.

See, this is probably one of those things where their control over personal aspects of your life serves as a form of self-legitimization for them; a form of domination, essentially. They probably aren't intending to be problematic or negative, but it's likely just them empowering themselves by demoting you to a protégée role. (Ahh, psychology class was fun)

Don't do something you'll regret just because they keep pushing you into it. I've heard more stories about regrettable virginity-loss than ones about people being glad they lost it early. I'm not the best person to be giving advice on the topic, but you should be with someone you can trust, especially for such an important moment of growth. It's meant to be an intimate experience; a very bonding one and a very vulnerable one. I suggest you don't just throw it away.

 

[zombiesinc]

I am afraid that if I don't make a move on a woman soon my friends will think I am a woss, and if I do go ahead and sleep with one of the slutty girls then the girl I like will think I am a meat head. So escapists what should I do?

Your friends and their behaviour aside, I'd say that this may seem more difficult than it really is. The thing is, you're feeling pressured to do something about your sex situation, but in reality, you simply don't care to do anything about it until you feel you're ready. Which you've said you aren't.

Your friends need to respect that, and leave it be. The fact that they're trying to encourage people to come onto you is just another reason to avoid actually doing anything with anyone. It simply isn't what you want. On top of that I'd say tell your friends that this sort of behaviour is inappropriate and unappreciated. I suppose they are in high school, so this sort of behaviour is fairly common place, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable. If it's something you don't like, tell 'em.

Now, for this girl that you like. It's always a discouraging feeling to develop feelings for someone who is already taken, but that doesn't mean you can't be friends, and enjoy her company on that level. Unless you want to do it in hopes that you could convince her to leave her boyfriend, of course.

Peer pressure is tough, and it can get very easy to give in and do something you didn't originally want to do to alleviate that pressure. Just ask yourself if you really want to sleep with someone simply because. Would you be happy with yourself if you slept with someone to give in to that peer pressure? Would it be meaningful? If that's important to you, then don't sleep with these suddenly interested people.

 

[CounterAttack]

This may have been said already, but it's your call on what you do. Do not let yourself be influenced by anyone, even partially. If you don't think you are ready to be sexually active, then you aren't. If people develop sudden interests in you for no apparent reason other than because your friends may have told them about you and their goal with you in mind, then you shouldn't bother with them.

If all else fails, confront your friends in private. Tell them to stop trying to get you laid; it's your decision when you do it and with whom. They may realise that you don't want it, even if they think you need it. You are the master of your own wants and needs, and you shouldn't let anyone decide them for you.

Peer pressure can be challenging to deal with, but - this is a little cheesy, I know - remain true to yourself and your beliefs, and you will feel better for it.

Sometimes the hammer just has to be swung.

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

Thanks for all the sound advice everyone, I think I know what I will do now. Getting my friends to respect my wishes may be hard, but i will have to somehow do it.

 

[Terminal Blue]

I have two conflicting sentiments here, and I'll present them both and then leave it up to you to navigate between them.

As others have said, your first time is almost always a complete mess, especially if it's your partners first time too, and the only thing which makes that okay as opposed to an embarrassing and awkward experience is being comfortable with the other person. Also, much as you might think it doesn't affect you emotionally it really can, and if you're not ready to handle that emotion it can get pretty ugly. You're far better off not pushing yourself into anything you don't want, and if your friends aren't willing to face that it's probably because they're either insecure virgins themselves (who might be lying about it, a lot of people do) or had shitty experiences and need to bring everyone else they know down to their level in order to feel okay about it. Either way, tell them to fuck off.

On the other hand, don't let genuinely good opportunities pass you by. True, the sisters thing reeks of bullshit so hard I'm amazed you took it seriously, but you will undoubtedly have other opportunities which at the time might seem a little intimidating but which you might look back on and regret to some extent if you passed them by. I don't know how old you are exactly but if you're still in school then you're at a golden age of extremely limited responsibility, and as you get older the opportunities to do random and crazy things will definitely start to dry up. However important you think your studies are now, they're still the least responsibility you will ever have in your life from now on. Whether not involving yourself in that kind of sexuality is going to be a problem for you will depend on you, but I would advise you not to reject it entirely unless you really know you have no interest.

Basically, either way the important thing is not to be worried or afraid. Don't worry about not having sex, but at the same time don't become so afraid of having sex that you pass up anything out of principle. Sometimes the best things can be entirely unintentional, and sometimes it's good to just let yourself get drawn into something.

 

[BonsaiK]

I have this problem with these three girls and it all started like this.

A couple of months ago all my 'friends' (mostly my mates from football) at school are pressuring me into getting laid, its really kind of getting old, they even start to yell out to girls in the hallway and ask them if they would like to *ahem* "ride my jack-hammer". I have told them many times to just let it drop but they refuse to until I get laid.

On Friday nights me and my friends go down to the local hang out, to well hang out, drink a few beers and watch some footy. They get particularly obnoxious down there and often get into trouble, "touching" people. These are the only guys I fit in with, as 60% of the time when they are sober they are really nice guys.

Now down to my predicament, a week ago they decided that they would coerce women into sleeping with me as I am not currently seeking to be sexually active. Now I don't know how they did it buy this week a lot of women have been showing interest in me; winking at me, flirting with me, using suggestive signals.... Just yesterday two sisters asked me for a threesome, I reluctantly declined seeing as I do not think I am ready for this, I have one year left of school and I don't want to get too distracted from my studies by getting involved with relationship dramas.

Two of the girls showing interest in me I have a very strong sexual lust for, as their bodies I would define as perfect, but I have no attraction to them otherwise. There is another girl who I like who isn't showing that 'attention' to me, she works down at the local library and I sometimes go down there and talk to her about my favourite books which she also likes. She has both a sexually pleasing body and a beautiful and charming personality. But she has a boy friend.

I am afraid that if I don't make a move on a woman soon my friends will think I am a woss, and if I do go ahead and sleep with one of the slutty girls then the girl I like will think I am a meat head. So escapists what should I do?

To quote one of my business acquaintances, "60% is never enough"! No matter what else you do, cast aside these loser friends of yours. Make that your top priority. You don't have to be rude, just start scaling back the amount of time and space they take up in your life. Do you really want to "fit in" with people like this? I think you can do better. Real friends are cool 100% of the time. If you only decide to follow one piece of all the advice I'm about to give you, make it that. The quality of your life will improve in direct inverse proportion to the amount of time you have these people in your life.

None of the girls that you've mentioned would be appropriate for you to do anything with. The threesome thing is probably bullshit, I'd say those girls have been egged on by your so-called "friends" *ahem cough*, and trust me, even if it's completely legit you don't want your first time to be a threesome anyway, that's for damn sure. The first time is usually pretty harrowing for anyone of either gender, and looking awkward and embarrassed in front of just one girl is enough.

The girl you like is also a waste of time as she's taken. No harm in getting to know her as a friend though. School-age relationships have a tendency not to last so perhaps she might become single at some point in the future. Don't place all your hopes and dreams on it though, continue to look around.

I don't think it matters what your "friends" (ahem cough splutter gasp choke) think, or what the girl you like thinks. Why not just decide what's true to yourself and what you really want, and do that? Being given a little bit of friendly shit is a small price to pay for integrity.