Transgender Q & A

[RhombusHatesYou]

Is this the answer to the universe... Trans, cis.. none of that matters..we're all just Penguins deep down inside.

You've heard that saying "we're all pink on the inside"?

Well it isn't true.

We're black and white with beaks and little flipper feet.

Penguins are pink on the inside... I've seen the remains of a few Fairy Penguins that feral cats have gotten at.

Also seen a sea lion kill a cat and a great white shark kill a seal.

*wipes away tear*

Nature is so beautfil, man.

 

[Rawne1980]

Penguins are pink on the inside... I've seen the remains of a few Fairy Penguins that feral cats have gotten at.

Also seen a sea lion kill a cat and a great white shark kill a seal.

*wipes away tear*

Nature is so beautfil, man.

Ahhh nature....

The joy of watching a group of Dolphins head butt a Shark to death.

The bullying bastards. I'd like to see them do that to Jaws.

 

[Sandjube]

Question I suppose, what do/can you do about your voice? Like, do you have to train yourself to start sounding like the gender you are transitioning into or? And is that hard? I mean if this is offensive or whatever, sorry, but I'm just thinking it would be kind of odd to look and feel like a girl but still sound like a guy or vice versa.

 

[VoEC]

Question I suppose, what do/can you do about your voice? Like, do you have to train yourself to start sounding like the gender you are transitioning into or? And is that hard? I mean if this is offensive or whatever, sorry, but I'm just thinking it would be kind of odd to look and feel like a girl but still sound like a guy or vice versa.

For FtM transsexuals it is mostly not that hard, since because of testosterone they will go through male puberty and their voice will change accordingly.
But if your a MtF trans it is a lot more difficult, since once you had your voice break, it will not go back just through hormones. So yes, you either have to train your voice to sound feminine or have to live with sounding male. It's a big problem for a lot of trans women I know, which is really sad since some of them look great but their voice doesn't really fit.
I myself trained my voice. It is quite difficult and in the beginning speaking with a female voice was really hard and strained my vocal chords a lot. But after a few months now, I have no more real difficulties and sound perfectly female.

 

[Sandjube]

Question I suppose, what do/can you do about your voice? Like, do you have to train yourself to start sounding like the gender you are transitioning into or? And is that hard? I mean if this is offensive or whatever, sorry, but I'm just thinking it would be kind of odd to look and feel like a girl but still sound like a guy or vice versa.

For FtM transsexuals it is mostly not that hard, since because of testosterone they will go through male puberty and their voice will change accordingly.
But if your a MtF trans it is a lot more difficult, since once you had your voice break, it will not go back just through hormones. So yes, you either have to train your voice to sound feminine or have to live with sounding male. It's a big problem for a lot of trans women I know, which is really sad since some of them look great but their voice doesn't really fit.
I myself trained my voice. It is quite difficult and in the beginning speaking with a female voice was really hard and strained my vocal chords a lot. But after a few months now, I have no more real difficulties and sound perfectly female.

Alright, sweet, thanks a bunch for the answer, always been curious about that aspect.

 

[VoEC]

Alright, sweet, thanks a bunch for the answer, always been curious about that aspect.

No problem

[...]

I actually have some questions myself for anyone who's post-op, as I've been pre-op for a couple of decades too long now and am looking to get started, but I'm not quite sure how.

1. How long did your transition take from start to finish and how much did it cost?
2. What exactly do I do to get started? I tried to see a therapist in order to get in touch with some doctors that could assign me hormone therapy, but that didn't really work. Not at that, anyway. I had some other issues with which the aforementioned therapist was immensely helpful.

As a transwoman who hasn't had the opportunity to start any form of transition, partly due to finances and partly due to just honestly not knowing where to start, I would appreciate it greatly if someone could answer (or at least as best possible, I know costs and such tend to vary a bit by region and all) these questions. It would be an incredible help to me and any others like me that may be around, I'm sure. ^_^

I'm not post-op, but since no one has replied to you yet, I though I might answer it.
1. So far it's been about a year. Had my coming out in Nov 2011, went to a therapist in the beginning of 2012 and started hormone therapy mid 2012. And if everything goes well, I will have the op in about a year.
AS for the costs: I guess I'm really lucky to live in Germany, where we have universal health care. Therefore therapy and hormone prescriptions aren't that big of a problem. However I did have to pay for laser hair removal and my name change, which cost me a lot.
I don't really want to settle on a specific value, since that can vary a lot. Especially if you live in the US e.g. and have to pay for it all by yourself. But no matter what, it will probably cost you a lot, especially the op. If you can't really afford much, try to at least start hormone therapy (e.g. for MtF: testosterone-blockers and estrogen, for FtM: I think only testosterone (?)). You can probalby find the costs of this for your country online.
2. There are so called "standarts of threatment" in this country, which state that you have to go to a psychologist prior to receiving any kind of threatment. So I did that and after about half a year of therapy sessions I asked for a medical certificate with which I could see an endocrinologist which gave me the hormone prescriptions.
But what I suggest anyone should start with (even if they have no money at all for threatment) to just start living in the gender they feel comfortable with. For MtF for example: Start buying new clothes, grow your hair out, use make-up, learn how to move, speak, behave more femininely (if you want, I'm sort of a tomboy ). It doesn't take much, but it makes a really big difference (especially dressing differently) and is a great start. And when people start to see you as your true gender, you will feel a lot better already.
And then probably try to find out how you can start hormone therapy, how much it will cost you, what doctors you can see, what you will need for it. You can find a lot of this information online.

Yeah, that's my take on this. I only speak from personal experience and anybody else could tell you something entirely different. It really differs from person to person and depending on where you live.
But this worked for me pretty great.

 

[Cry Wolf]

I myself trained my voice. It is quite difficult and in the beginning speaking with a female voice was really hard and strained my vocal chords a lot. But after a few months now, I have no more real difficulties and sound perfectly female.

Could you give an audio example of somebody who has changed their voice in this manner? I'd really like to hear what the result are like.

 

[VoEC]

I myself trained my voice. It is quite difficult and in the beginning speaking with a female voice was really hard and strained my vocal chords a lot. But after a few months now, I have no more real difficulties and sound perfectly female.

Could you give an audio example of somebody who has changed their voice in this manner? I'd really like to hear what the result are like.

Sure.
I would show you how I sound now, but I don't really want to post stuff from me here.
So instead:
In this video she even shows how her voice sounded before, which is really funny (I sometimes like doing this myself and scare the shit out of my friends).
This gal has a lot of explanations and training video on her channel, which helped me a lot with my own voice training.

 

[Cry Wolf]

Sure.
I would show you how I sound now, but I don't really want to post stuff from me here.
So instead:

Ha ha, I understand completely. Anonymity is pretty awesome, I wouldn't want to talk about any particularly personal topics without it.

As for the video; first - switching to the male voice actually made me jump. As for the voice itself, her speech felt stilted and unnatural yet the actual tone was great. She sounds like somebody who has gone through vocal coaching (in much the same way my countries prime minister does actually) but it's pretty cool. Thanks for linking!

EDIT; normal quoting is broken for some reason.

 

[Psykoma]

I actually have some questions myself for anyone who's post-op, as I've been pre-op for a couple of decades too long now and am looking to get started, but I'm not quite sure how.

1. How long did your transition take from start to finish and how much did it cost?
2. What exactly do I do to get started? I tried to see a therapist in order to get in touch with some doctors that could assign me hormone therapy, but that didn't really work. Not at that, anyway. I had some other issues with which the aforementioned therapist was immensely helpful.

I am post op, though I was MtF, so I'm not sure how applicable it is to you.

1A. I came out in august 2010, started therapy in january 2010, hormones in march 2010, and had surgery in February 2012. The reason for the two years between hormones and surgery was because I live in Quebec (Canada) and surgery can be covered by medicare, if I had paid (had been able to pay) for the surgery out of pocket, I'd have been in almost a year earlier.

2. When I started I contacted the GRS surgeon operating in my city asking what to do. they sent me to my therapist, started seeing her once a month. After three months she referred me for hormones and I started seeing an endocrinologist. After a year of that (and continuing monthly therapy appointments), I received my primary referral for surgery. I had to find another therapist (I was referred by my primary therapist) for the secondary referral. Then I found the other info (went to see a doctor to get a note saying that I'm healthy enough to survive a surgery, a note from my endo saying how long I've been on hormones).
Then I waited for my surgery appointment and that was it.
For me.

As far as I've heard, for FtM, the process up to surgery is roughly the same, but (if you go through to surgery) the surgical process (at least with the surgeon I went to) goes in three steps. First surgery would be to create the scrotom, six months later would be a surgery to create the penis shaft, six months later there'd be a third finishing surgery to do I'm not sure what.


1B. Cost:
- 100$ Per hour for one hourly appointment per month with my therapist (as far as I understood, this was much less than average). This went on for two and a half years, so about $3,000 in therapy. (Medicare in Quebec works weird. They cover the cost of hormones and surgery, but not the cost of the therapy to get the hormones and surgery >.>)
- For me hormones cost ~$100 per month, but this was fully covered by medicare (and it's a lifelong cost).
- Surgery MtF cost $18,000, but again - covered by medicare (also I understand that the FtM surgery is in the $100K + range :/ )
- Electrolysis (Rejoice, you won't have to do this!) has cost me about $16K so far (I had one super fucking thick Canadian beard before, and 3/4 of the hairs were red, so laser was out).

Other than wardrobe (which I don't exactly want to get into how much it cost....), those were the major ones.

 

[Raika]

I am post op, though I was MtF, so I'm not sure how applicable it is to you.

I'm MtF myself, but I also live in America, where neither hormone therapy nor reassignment surgery is covered by any medical insurance. The vast majority of this country also still hates them queers, apparently, as we have yet to make any significant headway in the field of same-sex marriage.

I'm bitter. Wouldn't you be if the land of your birth was full of people who wanted you dead?

 

[Relish in Chaos]

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

Also, I'm an asexual with no gender identity whatsoever, so if anyone wanted to ask me a quick question about that, I'd be glad to answer that.

1) What's your birth sex?

2) How do people react to you at first sight?

3) How do you conduct yourself in certain scenarios where gender does play a part (e.g. prom, where the boys dress in suits and the girls dress in...well, dresses)?

4) Do you switch between "male" and "female" clothing, depending on your mood or the occasion?

5) What have your dating experiences (if any; that's not intended to be rude, but I've heard that there are some asexuals that still have romantic feelings towards others, or engage in sexual activity for the other person, at least)?

 

[TheDoctor455]

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

Also, I'm an asexual with no gender identity whatsoever, so if anyone wanted to ask me a quick question about that, I'd be glad to answer that.

1) What's your birth sex?

2) How do people react to you at first sight?

3) How do you conduct yourself in certain scenarios where gender does play a part (e.g. prom, where the boys dress in suits and the girls dress in...well, dresses)?

4) Do you switch between "male" and "female" clothing, depending on your mood or the occasion?

5) What have your dating experiences (if any; that's not intended to be rude, but I've heard that there are some asexuals that still have romantic feelings towards others, or engage in sexual activity for the other person, at least)?

Okay... I'm assuming the top... 12 there are for the main thread...

to answer the bottom five...

1) Male, and I haven't done anything to change that, despite what your leading question implies. 'No gender identity'... why would I make the effort to make a drastic and permanent change to myself when I don't think of myself as either.

2) Er... like they would any nerdy guy? Like I said, I haven't done anything to change my physical gender. You do know that 'asexual' simply means, in my case, that I don't really care about having sex with anyone?

3) Never actually went to prom, but to answer your question, I go with the path of least resistance and dress male. Granted, I don't exactly have any women's clothes lying around, but... I rather like to avoid drawing attention to myself. Again, I think you're asking the wrong kinds of questions here. You seem to be assuming (simply because I posted on this thread) that I'm a post-op transexual. Academically speaking, a transgendered person is defined as one who feels like a different gender, but doesn't quite feel the need to change their physical gender, while a transexual is one who feels they need to change their body or already has. (these are definitions I got from a college-level sex-ed class)

I am neither. I don't have a gender identity, why would I go to the trouble of changing my physical gender if, in essence, I don't give a shit?

4) No. Though really, at this point... hasn't traditionally 'male' clothing like jeans and t-shirts become pretty much... gender neutral at this point? Plenty of women wear what was considered... before the 50's anyway, 'male' clothing. To be honest thought, wearing 'female' clothing has never really entered into my mind. Then again, I don't really care that much about my appearance, so I don't generally give it much thought to begin with.

5) Been on exactly one date. Can be summed up as 'meh'. I have fallen in love before, but its never been mutual.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

Also, I'm an asexual with no gender identity whatsoever, so if anyone wanted to ask me a quick question about that, I'd be glad to answer that.

1) What's your birth sex?

2) How do people react to you at first sight?

3) How do you conduct yourself in certain scenarios where gender does play a part (e.g. prom, where the boys dress in suits and the girls dress in...well, dresses)?

4) Do you switch between "male" and "female" clothing, depending on your mood or the occasion?

5) What have your dating experiences (if any; that's not intended to be rude, but I've heard that there are some asexuals that still have romantic feelings towards others, or engage in sexual activity for the other person, at least)?

Okay... I'm assuming the top... 12 there are for the main thread...

to answer the bottom five...

1) Male, and I haven't done anything to change that, despite what your leading question implies. 'No gender identity'... why would I make the effort to make a drastic and permanent change to myself when I don't think of myself as either.

2) Er... like they would any nerdy guy? Like I said, I haven't done anything to change my physical gender. You do know that 'asexual' simply means, in my case, that I don't really care about having sex with anyone?

3) Never actually went to prom, but to answer your question, I go with the path of least resistance and dress male. Granted, I don't exactly have any women's clothes lying around, but... I rather like to avoid drawing attention to myself. Again, I think you're asking the wrong kinds of questions here. You seem to be assuming (simply because I posted on this thread) that I'm a post-op transexual. Academically speaking, a transgendered person is defined as one who feels like a different gender, but doesn't quite feel the need to change their physical gender, while a transexual is one who feels they need to change their body or already has. (these are definitions I got from a college-level sex-ed class)

I am neither. I don't have a gender identity, why would I go to the trouble of changing my physical gender if, in essence, I don't give a shit?

4) No. Though really, at this point... hasn't traditionally 'male' clothing like jeans and t-shirts become pretty much... gender neutral at this point? Plenty of women wear what was considered... before the 50's anyway, 'male' clothing. To be honest thought, wearing 'female' clothing has never really entered into my mind. Then again, I don't really care that much about my appearance, so I don't generally give it much thought to begin with.

5) Been on exactly one date. Can be summed up as 'meh'. I have fallen in love before, but its never been mutual.

Ah, OK. Thanks for the answers. By the way, I wasn't assuming that you were trans or anything like that. I just wanted to get a little bit into the mind and lifestyle of an asexual person without a gender identity like you. I was wondering whether or not someone without a gender identity might, perhaps, wear female clothing purely because they just don't care much about their appearance says about their lack of gender.

 

[VoEC]

I love answering questions.

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

Before: None.
After: A few somewhat positive, but I'm not really sure yet. And some basicly went... well: "You're disgusting and still a man."
If I would ever get into a serious relationship I would tell my partner pretty early on. I think it is important to talk about it and see how the partner feels about it. And if they don't like me because of this, then I probably wouldn't want to date them anyway.

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

Not really, I would only be offended if someone though of me personally as a fetish object or would want to sleep with me only because of my condition.

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

Never watched that movie.

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

No, never. Only a few times in the beginning, when my voice was still pretty much male. Then people were mostly confused, whenever I spoke, and looked at me as if I was an alien but then quickly continued to not be unpolite.
When I met my old friends after about half a year after starting transitioning, most of them didn't even recognize me and were really suprised when i told them. That was fun.

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

I'm pretty much feminine in my attitude but I can be a bit tomboyish sometimes. But I don't hide it at all, I kinda enjoy it, especially around male friends when I tease them.

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

I don't know. I guess maybe because "changing" could mean that they were male before and now just swapped around (and that's only kinda true for the sex but not the gender). And reassignment surgery also sounds more like treating and actual medical condition. I like "SRS" more, too, but I wouldn't feel offended by "sex change".

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

I don't like being called a tranny because I'm not a transvestite. I guess being called "trap" would actually be a compliment? I only really don't like the connotation of "trap" being that I'm "tricking" men into thinking I'm a female. I'm female, I was just born with a really weird birth defect. What sort of assumtions you make and if you can't deal with them is your problem.

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

I wish I would have transitioned or at least come out earlier because then my teen years wouldn't have been such a fucking horrible experience. Also maybe not going through male puberty would have helped a lot, too. BUt I guess I can'T really complain since I'm only 20 and never really was very masculine.

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

I can't really say. If you would ever see a transgender person in public you would probably never know. I personally know about 15-20 people in my area.

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

No, I have not. But I'm really interested and I love Anime. What's it about?

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

I never really go to public toilets but nobody would take any notice of me if I did.

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

Yeah, I keeping a transition diary with old and new pics write down, when I started hormones etc.
Whenever I see old pictures of myself I get shivers down my back and can't believe that I looked that ugly once. I have pretty much very strong negative feelings about my past since, as I've said, my teen years were a nightmare. Except for my early childhood, which was awesome!

 

[TheDoctor455]

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

Also, I'm an asexual with no gender identity whatsoever, so if anyone wanted to ask me a quick question about that, I'd be glad to answer that.

1) What's your birth sex?

2) How do people react to you at first sight?

3) How do you conduct yourself in certain scenarios where gender does play a part (e.g. prom, where the boys dress in suits and the girls dress in...well, dresses)?

4) Do you switch between "male" and "female" clothing, depending on your mood or the occasion?

5) What have your dating experiences (if any; that's not intended to be rude, but I've heard that there are some asexuals that still have romantic feelings towards others, or engage in sexual activity for the other person, at least)?

Okay... I'm assuming the top... 12 there are for the main thread...

to answer the bottom five...

1) Male, and I haven't done anything to change that, despite what your leading question implies. 'No gender identity'... why would I make the effort to make a drastic and permanent change to myself when I don't think of myself as either.

2) Er... like they would any nerdy guy? Like I said, I haven't done anything to change my physical gender. You do know that 'asexual' simply means, in my case, that I don't really care about having sex with anyone?

3) Never actually went to prom, but to answer your question, I go with the path of least resistance and dress male. Granted, I don't exactly have any women's clothes lying around, but... I rather like to avoid drawing attention to myself. Again, I think you're asking the wrong kinds of questions here. You seem to be assuming (simply because I posted on this thread) that I'm a post-op transexual. Academically speaking, a transgendered person is defined as one who feels like a different gender, but doesn't quite feel the need to change their physical gender, while a transexual is one who feels they need to change their body or already has. (these are definitions I got from a college-level sex-ed class)

I am neither. I don't have a gender identity, why would I go to the trouble of changing my physical gender if, in essence, I don't give a shit?

4) No. Though really, at this point... hasn't traditionally 'male' clothing like jeans and t-shirts become pretty much... gender neutral at this point? Plenty of women wear what was considered... before the 50's anyway, 'male' clothing. To be honest thought, wearing 'female' clothing has never really entered into my mind. Then again, I don't really care that much about my appearance, so I don't generally give it much thought to begin with.

5) Been on exactly one date. Can be summed up as 'meh'. I have fallen in love before, but its never been mutual.

Ah, OK. Thanks for the answers. By the way, I wasn't assuming that you were trans or anything like that. I just wanted to get a little bit into the mind and lifestyle of an asexual person without a gender identity like you. I was wondering whether or not someone without a gender identity might, perhaps, wear female clothing purely because they just don't care much about their appearance says about their lack of gender.

Fair enough.

To clear it up for you: I think it takes a lot of courage for a transgendered person to wear female clothing if they so desire, and I applaud that kind of courage. Why does it take courage? Because there are a number of social stigmas in the way. Now, for someone like me, who does not have a gender identity, and does not feel the need for one, and thus, has no reason, let alone a strong reason (like expressing yourself), then the path of least resistance is more appealing. Especially since, in my case, I get my fair share of bullshit because I don't believe in any kind of god.

 

[Psykoma]

I am post op, though I was MtF, so I'm not sure how applicable it is to you.

I'm MtF myself, but I also live in America, where neither hormone therapy nor reassignment surgery is covered by any medical insurance. The vast majority of this country also still hates them queers, apparently, as we have yet to make any significant headway in the field of same-sex marriage.

I'm bitter. Wouldn't you be if the land of your birth was full of people who wanted you dead?

Sorry, misread the original post/quote.

And yeah, I probably would be.

sucks.

 

[Psykoma]

1) What have your dating experiences been like, both before and after transition? Like, how do you approach the dilemma of ?Do I tell this person who likes me that I was born a different sex??

I never dated before transitioning.
During transition I'd tell them before responding to their original 'would you like to go out' question. At that point their question would turn into (In the *most* polite example) 'wanna go to my car and fuck'.
Haven't had the occasion come up since after operation. Too busy with work and school, and the only time I go out is to specifically meet friends.

2) Are you offended by people who are fetishistically attracted to pre-op trans women, because many of them never even wanted the penis in the first place and/or are planning to do away with it in surgery?

As long as they don't force anything, let them have whatever fetishes they want.

3) Are you offended by the character ?Buffalo Bill? in Silence of the Lambs?

Nope.

4) Are people able to tell what sex you were born as? If so, what have been their reactions (e.g. family, friends, strangers)?

I haven't been mis-sexed for a couple years, so I guess not.

5) How masculine or feminine would you say you are, in regards to your identified sex? As in, if you?re a trans woman, do you have any tomboyish tendencies? And, if you do, do you tend to hide it in order to appear more feminine?

um, I usually wear jeans and t-shirts, don't wear makeup that often anymore, rarely wear skirts/dresses (though I do wear them more often in summertime. Winter is too cold >.>).
I'd guess I am pretty tomboyish.

6) Why is the term ?sex change? considered offensive now? Is it just political correctness, or is it that the medical term is technically ?sex reassignment surgery??

I haven't heard it be offensive. I've heard some who dislike the "reassignment" part of it, but I thought it fit with what the surgery was doing.

7) How do you feel about the term ?trap?, both derogatorily (although apparently used less than ?tranny?) and in porn circles?

I find them derogatory, so I'm not too fond of them.

8) Do you wish you transitioned earlier or later (as I?ve heard that transitioning before puberty allows you to have a more ?natural? puberty akin to your preferred gender, as opposed to going through your opposite-gender puberty and then having to ?alter? it from that foundation)?

Wish I had done so earlier. Puberty was not kind to me (would also have saved me about two hundred hours and almost $20K in electrolysis), though I don't know how my family would have accepted transitioning when I was that young.

9) Do you know what percentage of the population (in your area and/or worldwide) are transgender?

I've heard statistics anywhere between 1 out of every 1000 people being transgender, and 1 out of every 10,000 people being transsexual.

10) Have you ever watched the anime Wandering Son? What did you think about it?

Never heard of it.

11) What are your experiences when going to public toilets? Does anyone raise an eyebrow when you walk into what they might deem as the ?wrong one?, or does no-one take any notice?

I've never had a raised eyebrow, even during the first days when I wore a (ugly ass) wig and before hormones. But that's probably more a reflection on the city (Montreal) than my passability.

12) Do you keep pictures of back when you looked like your birth sex? If so, do you ever look back on them? Do you have positive or negative feelings on that ?past life??

My parents do, but I don't particularly care about the photos, or at least the ones post puberty.

 

[Rawne1980]

At that point their question would turn into (In the *most* polite example) 'wanna go to my car and fuck'.

And they say romance is dead.

Back on topic....

I realised I do have a cut off point with anyone I date .... one so serious it negates any chance of a relationship and/or friendship.

Never again am I dating anyone that has the gall to openly, right in front of my face, tell me they support Everton.

It's a crime.

 

[Psykoma]

At that point their question would turn into (In the *most* polite example) 'wanna go to my car and fuck'.

And they say romance is dead.

Back on topic....

I realised I do have a cut off point with anyone I date .... one so serious it negates any chance of a relationship and/or friendship.

Never again am I dating anyone that has the gall to openly, right in front of my face, tell me they support Everton.

It's a crime.

What if they tell you they don't know what Everton is :#