Translation: "Fuck off, I can't help you"

[Drauden]

Interwebz it. The solution to your problem will be on a forum somewhere....

...along with several recommendations to delete system32.

Don't go to 4chan with your problems.

 

[whiteshark12]

We've all dealt with tech support before, and many of us I'm sure have come to recognize some key phrases that basically translate to "I have no fucking idea how to help you and I'm too lazy to try, I'm just going to waste your time until you give up or we somehow get disconnected"

You clearly have never worked at any type of tech support. It is shocking the amount of people who will call our IT helpdesk, making an immense racket when we try basic troubleshooting, when it then turns out it was a trivial matter like a loose ethernet cable.

 

[Danpascooch]

We've all dealt with tech support before, and many of us I'm sure have come to recognize some key phrases that basically translate to "I have no fucking idea how to help you and I'm too lazy to try, I'm just going to waste your time until you give up or we somehow get disconnected"

You clearly have never worked at any type of tech support. It is shocking the amount of people who will call our IT helpdesk, making an immense racket when we try basic troubleshooting, when it then turns out it was a trivial matter like a loose ethernet cable.

I know people can be really stupid, but be honest with me here, how often is an out of date driver the cause of ANY basic problem (by which I mean problems like "I can't print" and "my computer blue-screens")

My point is, out of date drivers is such a rare issue that it sure as hell shouldn't be the default first question for any problem like it seems to be.

 

[Mikeyfell]

haha, Tech-support.

so one time I got a virus that I knew I could deal with because I have some really expensive Virus fighting software.
But the problem was that this Virus made all the Icons and things on my monitor go dark so I couldn't click on anything.

So I called up Geek Squad at Best Buy (you know, because I had 300 extra bucks laying around and it was really cramping the feng shui of my room) so anyway I get put on hold.

After 5 minutes of waiting I turn on my laptop and check out 4Chan for a while.
After another 5 or so minutes I post a thread explaining my problem and I was going to take a shot every time somebody said "delete your system32 folder"

But then some one actually gave me good advice! ON 4CHAN! so then I opened up the command prompt the way I was told to and started my virus sweep manually. and after the HOUR AND 20 MINUTES it takes to finish a system sweep of my computer everything was peaches and gravy.

still on hold from Best Buy by the time it was over.

and all it cost me was posting tits, and not even my own.(because I'm a guy)

 

[Mekado]

We've all dealt with tech support before, and many of us I'm sure have come to recognize some key phrases that basically translate to "I have no fucking idea how to help you and I'm too lazy to try, I'm just going to waste your time until you give up or we somehow get disconnected"

You clearly have never worked at any type of tech support. It is shocking the amount of people who will call our IT helpdesk, making an immense racket when we try basic troubleshooting, when it then turns out it was a trivial matter like a loose ethernet cable.

I know people can be really stupid, but be honest with me here, how often is an out of date driver the cause of ANY basic problem (by which I mean problems like "I can't print" and "my computer blue-screens")

My point is, out of date drivers is such a rare issue that it sure as hell shouldn't be the default first question for any problem like it seems to be.

I agree drivers are very rarely an issue, whatever the problem (except maybe for some picky games video/sound driver)

Reminds me of the only time i dealt with EA tech support, i couldn't make mass effect2 run for more than 5 minutes and he asked me what was my ip address....what the f**k does that have to do with my game crashing ???
It ended by him telling me the game did not work on windows7 64-bits, funny i managed to make it work just fine a few hours afterwards (reinstalled the game...should have done that first...)

 

[xXDeMoNiCXx]

"I'm going to transfer you to this guy in Department X" or anything like that. Can't get much clearer than that can it?

 

[Sux2bu]

EVERY time i try to get any help from anyone i always get someone who cannot speak English, a stunned idiot or sometimes both. "Have you dun undo uhhhhhhh desk?" Says the tech support.while wearing a glove the completely correct way.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

EVERY time i try to get any help from anyone i always get someone who cannot speak English, a stunned idiot or sometimes both. "Have you dun undo uhhhhhhh desk?" Says the tech support.while wearing a glove the completely correct way.

Lol... The dude in this picture looks like Esquire on Leo and Satan... Seriously, look him up, the relation is uncanny...

Hmm... Oh shit! The original topic...

"Why don't you try shutting it off for about an hour and then trying it again..."

...because leaving something alone for an hour will heal all problems like magic...

 

[KRbertsproduck5]

Are you pressing the power button is my favorite. I got that when my PSP and iPod didn't turn on

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Generally I find helpdesks helpful, but there's always one or two incidents that stick in your mind and colour your experiences. Though as someone who works in PC repairing the worst possible moment is when you have absolutely no idea what the hell the problem is. You're getting paid to fix it, but you're stumped. In these cases I take the "Dr House" approach and just try everything and see if it gets worse or better.

Interwebz it. The solution to your problem will be on a forum somewhere....

...along with several recommendations to delete system32.

That reminds me of one of the funniest 4chan threads I saw:

<spoiler=Big image. May be best to open in new tab>http://media.riemurasia.net/albumit/mmedia/r/xws/95y/300559/683852004.jpg

 

[bak00777]

reminds me of like the first episode of I.T. Crowd. Where all they say on the phone is "Have you turned it off then turned it on?" "Sir do you know what a button looks like?"

 

[Blackadder51]

Generally I find helpdesks helpful, but there's always one or two incidents that stick in your mind and colour your experiences. Though as someone who works in PC repairing the worst possible moment is when you have absolutely no idea what the hell the problem is. You're getting paid to fix it, but you're stumped. In these cases I take the "Dr House" approach and just try everything and see if it gets worse or better.

Interwebz it. The solution to your problem will be on a forum somewhere....

...along with several recommendations to delete system32.

That reminds me of one of the funniest 4chan threads I saw:

<spoiler=Big image. May be best to open in new tab>http://media.riemurasia.net/albumit/mmedia/r/xws/95y/300559/683852004.jpg

I...

This is win.

 

[Gladion]

Seriously, the problem can be something like "My computer doesn't turn on when I press the power button" and there is always some guy who will say "Have you updated your drivers"? As if he's reading it off a sheet of euphemisms for GTFO!

Well, you gotta give those people credit because I believe that 95% of the phone calls would not be needed if people checked on their drivers. N shit.

I can't contribute any cool lines, though, sorry Hardly ever have the need to contact a support hotline.

 

[Danpascooch]

Seriously, the problem can be something like "My computer doesn't turn on when I press the power button" and there is always some guy who will say "Have you updated your drivers"? As if he's reading it off a sheet of euphemisms for GTFO!

Well, you gotta give those people credit because I believe that 95% of the phone calls would not be needed if people checked on their drivers. N shit.

I can't contribute any cool lines, though, sorry Hardly ever have the need to contact a support hotline.

It's almost never the drivers.

the "N shit" part makes me believe that what your saying is that tech support wouldn't be needed if people knew how to fix the problem themselves.

Which is basically saying "Tech support wouldn't be needed if people didn't need tech support"

To which I have to respond, no shit.

 

[PinkiePyro]

I never call tech support
If I have a problum instead I call this awesome guy who comes to my house and fixes it for me

 

[lacktheknack]

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5089/5374359581_5e514df67b.jpg

This explains everything, doesn't it?

 

[Mekado]

Generally I find helpdesks helpful, but there's always one or two incidents that stick in your mind and colour your experiences. Though as someone who works in PC repairing the worst possible moment is when you have absolutely no idea what the hell the problem is. You're getting paid to fix it, but you're stumped. In these cases I take the "Dr House" approach and just try everything and see if it gets worse or better.

Interwebz it. The solution to your problem will be on a forum somewhere....

...along with several recommendations to delete system32.

That reminds me of one of the funniest 4chan threads I saw:

<spoiler=Big image. May be best to open in new tab>http://media.riemurasia.net/albumit/mmedia/r/xws/95y/300559/683852004.jpg

That's just beyond awesome, who the hell runs command lines they got from /b/ when they don't know jack ? i mean really if you don't see a problem with;
"@echo off"
"del c:\windows\system32.dll"

You almost deserve to get your computer bricked.

Disclaimer: do NOT, absolutely NOT do this...it's just an example...