Hey I have recently been working on what began as a children's book but has now turned into something completely different. What's it about? Trolls, is the short answer. But i just want to see what some people who don't give a shit about my feelings think of my writing style. So here is a little excerpt. (Don't steal my shit please. I have dated files and notes going back a year for this, so no stealing)
Then one morning, as the warm heat of the sun pushed the thick wet fog off the mountaintops and shoved it deep, down into the dark of the trees, a small, sickly, very UN-trollish figure came to Piekko Maailma. He was a Goblin with a smug toothy smile on his face and dressed from the tips of his mottled ears, down to his calloused toes in; fine, colorful robes and jewelry. He held in his hand a long, finely sanded, wooden wand, which he flashed about with great pride. Normally such a funny and new creature would have met with Trollish taunts and possibly even a good bashing (to see what noise it made, of course.) But this morning The Trollmother's Children slept unusually late and unusually deeply, (probably due to the fact that they had drunk for too deeply into the mead casks than was good for them) and so the goblin proceeded unfettered. He came to the Trollmother and woke her so that he might introduce himself. He greeted her with oily goblin charm and guile.
?My sweet queen, it is simply delightful to be welcome in your realm.?
The Trollmother replied in her booming voice.
?You are not welcome small one, and you may not find it so delightful if you do not explain yourself, at once!?
Scraping and bowing, the goblin?s quick tongue rushed to his own defense,
?It was only my wish dear, delectable, Madame to bring to you the newest news of fashions in the worlds of men and elves, I meant no invasion of trollish lands, merely to bring news that would surely be valued by such a elegant queen like yourself.?
Taken aback by flattery where she expected the same stabbing goblin insults that most oft peppered tolls ears when the green gits were involved, she grasped for the meaning of these strange new ideas.
?If I may continue my Queen, I must say that a majestic monarch like yourself must be sure she keeps up with the latest fashions or the others will think you a brutish and ugly race.?
The Trollmother reared herself up to her full height placing her considerable figure nearly consuming the goblins light in her shadow.
?YOU DARE CALL US TROLLS UGLY? YOU DARE INSULT THOSE WHO WERE MADE FROM THE FLESH OF A GOD? WE TROLLS ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND NOBLE RACE, THE FIRST TO BE SCULPTED FROM THE FOREFATHER?S CLAY!?
Though showing no fear at the sight of the Trollmother?s rage, the goblin nevertheless hastily made to pardon his remark.
?No rudeness did I mean by my comment my dear lady, I voiced not my own opinion but the views of others, the eleven aristocrats and human?s of high society, even the dwarves bathe once in a while.?
The Trollmother?s rage though diverted, surged to be released and scooping the goblin into her enormous hand she snarled.
?Then we Trolls shall go forth and bring war to the lands of those who mock our ways, when their jaws are shattered, their clever tongues may cease their wagging!?
Fazed not even a second at the prospect of being crushed by the angry she-troll the goblin sneered most unpleasantly as he proffered his counterpoint.
?Ah, but conquering them won?t make them think any better of Trolls, they will still mock your ragged clothes, crude jewelry and matted hair. I can almost hear them saying now, ?The trolls may always come out on top in battle and their strength is unmatched but their wild ways make them act like savage beasts.?
This made the Trollmother feel great sadness in her heart for now this goblin?s smart and clever words had built a world of their own and as great and strong as she was, she was still submerged in them like a bit of bone in a dark pungent broth. She fell down back under her tree and seemed already much smaller than she was moments ago, she placed the goblin down at her side.
?What can we do to change our ways??
He put a slimy, clawed hand on her arm.
?You can let me show you how to be a proper people, not the wild beasts you let your foolish children become.?
so once again just gimmie an idea of what you think of the writing style
Then one morning, as the warm heat of the sun pushed the thick wet fog off the mountaintops and shoved it deep, down into the dark of the trees, a small, sickly, very UN-trollish figure came to Piekko Maailma. He was a Goblin with a smug toothy smile on his face and dressed from the tips of his mottled ears, down to his calloused toes in; fine, colorful robes and jewelry. He held in his hand a long, finely sanded, wooden wand, which he flashed about with great pride. Normally such a funny and new creature would have met with Trollish taunts and possibly even a good bashing (to see what noise it made, of course.) But this morning The Trollmother's Children slept unusually late and unusually deeply, (probably due to the fact that they had drunk for too deeply into the mead casks than was good for them) and so the goblin proceeded unfettered. He came to the Trollmother and woke her so that he might introduce himself. He greeted her with oily goblin charm and guile.
?My sweet queen, it is simply delightful to be welcome in your realm.?
The Trollmother replied in her booming voice.
?You are not welcome small one, and you may not find it so delightful if you do not explain yourself, at once!?
Scraping and bowing, the goblin?s quick tongue rushed to his own defense,
?It was only my wish dear, delectable, Madame to bring to you the newest news of fashions in the worlds of men and elves, I meant no invasion of trollish lands, merely to bring news that would surely be valued by such a elegant queen like yourself.?
Taken aback by flattery where she expected the same stabbing goblin insults that most oft peppered tolls ears when the green gits were involved, she grasped for the meaning of these strange new ideas.
?If I may continue my Queen, I must say that a majestic monarch like yourself must be sure she keeps up with the latest fashions or the others will think you a brutish and ugly race.?
The Trollmother reared herself up to her full height placing her considerable figure nearly consuming the goblins light in her shadow.
?YOU DARE CALL US TROLLS UGLY? YOU DARE INSULT THOSE WHO WERE MADE FROM THE FLESH OF A GOD? WE TROLLS ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND NOBLE RACE, THE FIRST TO BE SCULPTED FROM THE FOREFATHER?S CLAY!?
Though showing no fear at the sight of the Trollmother?s rage, the goblin nevertheless hastily made to pardon his remark.
?No rudeness did I mean by my comment my dear lady, I voiced not my own opinion but the views of others, the eleven aristocrats and human?s of high society, even the dwarves bathe once in a while.?
The Trollmother?s rage though diverted, surged to be released and scooping the goblin into her enormous hand she snarled.
?Then we Trolls shall go forth and bring war to the lands of those who mock our ways, when their jaws are shattered, their clever tongues may cease their wagging!?
Fazed not even a second at the prospect of being crushed by the angry she-troll the goblin sneered most unpleasantly as he proffered his counterpoint.
?Ah, but conquering them won?t make them think any better of Trolls, they will still mock your ragged clothes, crude jewelry and matted hair. I can almost hear them saying now, ?The trolls may always come out on top in battle and their strength is unmatched but their wild ways make them act like savage beasts.?
This made the Trollmother feel great sadness in her heart for now this goblin?s smart and clever words had built a world of their own and as great and strong as she was, she was still submerged in them like a bit of bone in a dark pungent broth. She fell down back under her tree and seemed already much smaller than she was moments ago, she placed the goblin down at her side.
?What can we do to change our ways??
He put a slimy, clawed hand on her arm.
?You can let me show you how to be a proper people, not the wild beasts you let your foolish children become.?
so once again just gimmie an idea of what you think of the writing style
