Try getting back with ex - advice from people?

[Flamezdudes]

After realizing many of my mistakes and faults and thinking over things about my relationship which I ended in October, I feel I want to try again with her and that this time I could make things right with her and make it work. But I pretty much broke her heart and she is probably still angry with me but yesterday we started talking again after she had blocked me and ignored me (which is understandable) and we're friends again.

However i'm wondering how I should even go about trying to get back with her, does anyone here with experience of this know how to exactly? Whether to wait to ask her... etc?
I don't want to be patient enough to give her even more time to get over me but then again, I don't want to be pushy. I just want another chance with her now that i've realised my mistakes and believe I can do better this time, even though I may not deserve a second chance.

So, yeah... any advice on how to go about it?

 

[Jedoro]

Let her know that you learned your lesson and would like a second chance, and do this ASAP. It's not being pushy, it's just making her aware of your wishes and gives her the opportunity to start thinking about whether she'd like to or not.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Sorry, I realize this is kind of turning on the harsh, but it's also kind of important to keep in mind:

Firstly, you're right. You may not deserve a second chance. If she doesn't want to be with you, then you can't try to force that without turning into some kind of stalker or quite possibly ruining your life. You need to be ready to let it go, and if you're not over it then that might mean you shouldn't be speaking or trying to be friends.

Secondly, I'm really sorry if this is a completely unfair characterization, but this sounds a little like opportunism. I presume you've either been single since October or got involved with someone else only to find it didn't work out. This is exactly the kind of time where you might start to feel lonely, so obviously your mind is going to start dwelling on past things which did seem to work better. That will probably last until you meet someone else.

To be blunt, how much do you actually enjoy being in a relationship with your ex, because if you 'broke her heart' then that's not a good sign of you being terribly happy? While it's by no means uncommon for people to date their exes, it is very uncommon for those relationships to last. Simply put, people break up with each other for a reason.

If you think I'm wrong, and you're really serious about this. All you can really do is be honest. Say you've been thinking about it and you feel you made a terrible mistake and you'd like to give things another chance. Be prepared for her to tell you to fuck off, but there is never an easy or guaranteed way to get into someone's pants after you've hurt them, and if there was it would hardly be ethical. It might be that she can forgive you, it strikes me as unlikely after this long but go out and prove me wrong.

Just don't waste your life on it. If she doesn't want to be with you, that's all you need to know. You'd be better off finding someone new even if it doesn't seem as good.

 

[Svenparty]

Think about if it's what you really want or nostalgia because if you break her heart again you'd feel terrible.

 

[Zantos]

Errrr, advice, don't do it. It always feels like you want to, but at the end of the day you broke up for a reason, and that reason is just going to rear it's ugly head again. Fight it, and before you know it you'll be starting afresh with someone new.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Sorry, I realize this is kind of turning on the harsh, but it's also kind of important to keep in mind:

Firstly, you're right. You may not deserve a second chance. If she doesn't want to be with you, then you can't try to force that without turning into some kind of stalker or quite possibly ruining your life. You need to be ready to let it go, and if you're not over it then that might mean you shouldn't be speaking or trying to be friends.

Secondly, I'm really sorry if this is a completely unfair characterization, but this sounds a little like opportunism. I presume you've either been single since October or got involved with someone else only to find it didn't work out. This is exactly the kind of time where you might start to feel lonely, so obviously your mind is going to start dwelling on past things which did seem to work better. That will probably last until you meet someone else.

To be blunt, how much do you actually enjoy being in a relationship with your ex, because if you 'broke her heart' then that's not a good sign of you being terribly happy? While it's by no means uncommon for people to date their exes, it is very uncommon for those relationships to last. Simply put, people break up with each other for a reason.

If you think I'm wrong, and you're really serious about this. All you can really do is be honest. Say you've been thinking about it and you feel you made a terrible mistake and you'd like to give things another chance. Be prepared for her to tell you to fuck off, but there is never an easy or guaranteed way to get into someone's pants after you've hurt them, and if there was it would hardly be ethical. It might be that she can forgive you, it strikes me as unlikely after this long but go out and prove me wrong.

Just don't waste your life on it. If she doesn't want to be with you, that's all you need to know. You'd be better off finding someone new even if it doesn't seem as good.

Well the way I see it after October I sort of tried to block everything out, my best friend kept telling me that I?m taking it a hell of a lot better than she is and apparently, to her it seemed like I was over her already and didn't care. I have just stayed single since the break up; I don't really think I have ever felt lonely though.

But I started thinking about everything like I said I realized what I did wrong and really, the main reason I broke up with her was that I couldn't deal with her problems and how she was unhappy all the time and how I felt due to that, but I never really communicated about how I felt... so there was a lack of a communication really. When she was fine and happy I adored being with her, but most of the time since we started A-levels together she became even more stressed out by things and complaining about her other problems.

However, I think that if I can communicate with her better a second time around and give her space with work etc among other things then we could make it work, I?ve made too many mistakes to not try and fix them. I think that at the time around and before the break up I was just scared.

It is difficult imagining being with somebody else though, especially after spending about 6 months with this girl and liking her for about 3-4 months before we even started dating, especially since it was my first relationship...