Ubisoft's "Team Ghost" Gets Some Guns

[Andy Chalk]

Ubisoft's "Team Ghost" Gets Some Guns

A barely-dressed "Coco" has been announced as the third member of Ubisoft's elite Team Ghost.

No, not Conan O'Brien. We're talking about actress/dancer/glamour model/web personality/Ice-T bangsack Nicole "Coco" Austin, a spectacularly proportioned woman best known for taking her clothes off and being married to "Cop Killer [http://www.amazon.com/Body-Count/dp/B000002MHE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1336763464&sr=8-3]" singer-slash-TV detective Ice-T. And now she's joined up with two other extremely minor celebrities, NBA "double-double king" Kevin Love and "future NFL sensation" Justin Blackmon, plus "a hot young rapper" to be named later, in what is surely the most can't-miss PR campaign of the year: Team Ghost.

Coco is the third and newest member of this squad of "real world elites," and what she brings to the party will surely come as no surprise to anyone: broad expertise with a wide range of both NATO and CSTO firearms.

Just kidding! She brings tits, of course. And ass. My god, the ass. "I love shooting guns in real life, so when you're on this game, and you're pointing and you're shooting, you really feel like you're at war," she says in the video, wearing what I'm pretty sure is not a standard-issue onesie. [You can tell, because it's not MultiCam [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MultiCam].]

​

"I'm the gun expert on Team Ghost, so my role is to make sure that everyone customizes their gun so they're properly equipped for the mission at hand," she added.

In all fairness to Mrs. T, her husband is a well-known gamer who actually played a role [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/112899-Watch-Ice-T-Unbox-Gears-of-War-3] in last year's Gears of War 3, and there's no reason to doubt that she enjoys the hobby every bit as much as he does, which is probably why she got this gig. Right?

To find out more about how Coco can help you get a better grip on your pistol, point your browser at Ghost Recon: Future Soldier [http://agenda.complex.com/teamghost/] comes out on May 22 for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, and June 12 for the PC.


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[Cousin_IT]

So am I the only one who has been looking at the embedded video for some time but not yet clicked play?

 

[Slycne]

Why did anyone think this was a good idea? I'm actually less interested in Future Soldier after this, which is the exact opposite of what you want a marketing campaign to do.

 

[tredien]

I miss the good Tom Clancy games. :|

 

[WanderingFool]

"I'm the gun expert on Team Ghost, so my role is to make sure that everyone customizes their gun so they're properly equipped for the mission at hand," she added.

Ouch... I knocked my head when I feel out of my chair lauching.

But seriously now... is Ubisoft getting marketing tips from EA? Do they think having some model who, and lets not pretend here folks, is there purely for eye candy is going to sell this game?

 

[BrotherRool]

Not kidding that script and the whole idea really hurt. I didn't last 30 seconds before rage quitting

 

[Evilsanta]

Dat ass.

Err...I mean... Nice tits. I mean gameplay. *Cough*

>.>

<.<

OT: So Ubisoft went with the "Sex sells" approch. I mean it's not like they could have made her appear in something more suited for military use then a camouflage colored one piece.

 

[flaviok79]

Yeah. There will be a lot of gun customization going on. And lubricating.

 

[bobmus]

Irritating video. Just show me what the game does, don't give me a bimbo shouting a lot and firing guns down a range. I was interested in the weapon customisation, but now she's the weapon expert? Ah fuck, it's just such a bad campaign.

 

[Seventh Actuality]

I was going to just chalk this up as just another reason not to give a shit about Ubisoft, then I watched the video and saw they were playing her up as a spokesperson for women in amongst all the insulting exploitative wank. Fuck that so much.

If making an audience member go from apathy and contempt to outright hate is the sign of a good ad campaign, then give your marketing department a pat on the back.

 

[Lectori Salutem]

Why? I really wish publishers would get over this.
I feel insulted, Ubisoft.

 

[Susan Arendt]

You know, if they wanted to go this route, they should've picked Michelle Viscusi: http://www.maxim.com/maximtv/top-shots-michelle-viscusi. Not only was she in the National Guard and a Border Patrol officer, she can actually shoot. Oh, and yeah, she's gorgeous.

 

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

To find out more about how Coco can help you get a better grip on your pistol

What you did there, I see it.

OT: How did they get that mannequin to move and talk? :O

 

[Absolutionis]

No doubt that barrel-scraping pandering will come with some form of DRM.

 

[JaceArveduin]

You know, if they wanted to go this route, they should've picked Michelle Viscusi: http://www.maxim.com/maximtv/top-shots-michelle-viscusi. Not only was she in the National Guard and a Border Patrol officer, she can actually shoot. Oh, and yeah, she's gorgeous.

I'm going to have to agree with you. After a quick search, she seems much more suitable for the job.

Oh, and the search, which was completely for scientific purposes, makes me think she looks better than whoever this other one is.

 

[BreakfastMan]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! XD

That was hilarious! Just so damn over-the-top and ridiculous. All the side-boob in the kinect shots, the focus on the buttocks in the shooting bits... Just so damn silly. Like a wacky troma movie or stupid porn parody (Call of Booty? Medal of Boner? Operation Fleshpoint?). XD

 

[antipunt]

Oh, and the search, which was completely for scientific purposes, ...

I love this thread

*cough*

Hey, don't look at me! I came here for the.. uh...

aiyy....e.. >_>

 

[RJ 17]

Aside from the bolt-action bolt-on breasts that she's got going there, the only thing I could notice about the game itself was the fact that it looks obscenely and blatantly like Gears of War as far as the combat animation is concerned. Like they literally shaved off about 400 pounds from Fenix, slapped him in some modern day camo, and repainted Sera (think that's the planet GoW takes place on) to look like the middle east.

Sentient Captcha Strikes Again: "Sick Puppy"

 

[SplntrdReality]

Oh Ubisoft, Ubisoft, Ubisoft. You never stop surprising me... much in the same way a pet might surprise me by leaving a 'present' in the middle of the hall as I stumble, half-asleep, to the restroom at 5am. I use this analogy because I now have the same feeling like I stepped in something icky.

So who at Ubi decided this was a good idea? Perhaps the same people who decided their DRM schema (aka, "Protecting the company from the evil paying customer") was a good idea?

And what does this mean, anyway? Is this what they think is the future US soldier?

Here's how I think it went down: The French ad guys were sitting around, sipping expensive wine in goblets made from the physical manifestation of the shattered hopes and dreams of gamers everywhere (you know, a typical day), and watching CNN cover the latest US military black eye (take your pick, we've had a few recently).

Enrey (Henry): "'Zute alros! Those American soldiers, they are total boobs!"

Jean (Gene): "...Enrey, that's a brilliant idea! *dial phone* Yves, we have a great idea for an American ad campaign... it involves boobs!"

Yves (Boss-man): "That's good Jean, but those Americans, they need more than boobs. Be sure to throw in some derier as well!"

Jean: "Ok boss, you got it!"

Enrey: "But won't that make them angry, if we imply their future soliders are brainless bimbos?"

Jean: "Don't be stupid, 'Enrey! We are French! It is in our nature to be back-handedly cynical and do everything in symbolic allegory!"

Enrey: "Good point Jean. Let's get to work!"

And another Ubisoft disaster was born.

 

[blackdwarf]

what is it with the name "Coco" lately? couples of days ago i never heard of it.

and yeah....... she will make all those o so mature boys rock hard for this game(hurr hurr), but for me, who watches this "trailer" to learn about the game, i just don't get it. from what i know of ghost recon, the series is a pretty serious modern warfare, tactical shooter. so no female soldiers in-game and also not fan service. this just shows a game that isn't that.

and the outfits? really? and it not even ironic, but dead serious. like women would play or even walk i those outfits?( not that i would mind that )