Ugh, Chess.

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jebbo

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Jul 17, 2009
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Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
vivaldiscool said:
As I mentioned, chess could be greatly improved just by adding a few more maps, or at least patching the lame 1v1 gameplay like so:

snip
Ha nice, I wanna see a giant cross shaped 4 player chess
-img snip-
The four armies are white, black, gold, and silver (it's a little hard to tell in the picture). Yes, I have played this. No, I don't know how it's really supposed to be played.
What would you prefer? Chocolate chip or macadamia nut?
Chocolate chip macadamia, actually. If I must choose...macadamia nut.
Consider it freshly baked and in the post. Right I'm off to find the rules for 4 player chess
 

Heart of Darkness

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Jul 1, 2009
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jebbo said:
Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
vivaldiscool said:
As I mentioned, chess could be greatly improved just by adding a few more maps, or at least patching the lame 1v1 gameplay like so:

snip
Ha nice, I wanna see a giant cross shaped 4 player chess
-img snip-
The four armies are white, black, gold, and silver (it's a little hard to tell in the picture). Yes, I have played this. No, I don't know how it's really supposed to be played.
What would you prefer? Chocolate chip or macadamia nut?
Chocolate chip macadamia, actually. If I must choose...macadamia nut.
Consider it freshly baked and in the post. Right I'm off to find the rules for 4 player chess
Yay! Cookie! *noms*

I shoud've read the rules for that when I had the chance. I think that particular variant is sold as Chess 4, if that helps.
 

Ancientgamer

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Jan 16, 2009
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Gmano said:
Yeah, but it is balanced because the opponent has exactly the same units.
It's balanced like shit. White wins like %52 of the time. And it doesn't even take initiative rolls, it's always just arbitrarily white. WTH?
 

crudus

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Oct 20, 2008
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Queen dies in one hit. How is that OP? The pawns are meant to be like the cannon in 18th century warfare, ruin their front lines and the rooks are like the bayonet charge. And have you tried checkmating a king that moves twice in a turn? damn near impossible. I had to open my own sorority to do it, 3 queens and a princess!
 

slowpoke999

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Sep 17, 2009
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MaxTheReaper said:
Oh, bullshit.

Real people have fought wars for the very same reason, I'll have you know!
"Well, you're too black!"
"Well, you're too white!"

And then everyone dies.
So chess is essentially a race war?
 

Mirroga

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Jun 6, 2009
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Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
vivaldiscool said:
As I mentioned, chess could be greatly improved just by adding a few more maps, or at least patching the lame 1v1 gameplay like so:

snip
Ha nice, I wanna see a giant cross shaped 4 player chess

The four armies are white, black, gold, and silver (it's a little hard to tell in the picture). Yes, I have played this. No, I don't know how it's really supposed to be played.
This is the ultimate form of chess! Wait for it's patches. Just imagine How aggravated the other team would be when you eat their pawns on the other sides. lol. I give the 1v1v1v1 patch a 7.5/10
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
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Mirroga said:
Heart of Darkness said:
jebbo said:
vivaldiscool said:
As I mentioned, chess could be greatly improved just by adding a few more maps, or at least patching the lame 1v1 gameplay like so:

snip
Ha nice, I wanna see a giant cross shaped 4 player chess
-img snip-
The four armies are white, black, gold, and silver (it's a little hard to tell in the picture). Yes, I have played this. No, I don't know how it's really supposed to be played.
This is the ultimate form of chess! Wait for it's patches. Just imagine How aggravated the other team would be when you eat their pawns on the other sides. lol. I give the 1v1v1v1 patch a 7.5/10
Don't forget the other gameplay changes that the patch brings. You can also play 2v2 chess using this patch, and the king can now be captured directly--doing so will also allow you to take control of the pieces of the captured army!
 

Discord

Monk of Tranquility
Nov 1, 2009
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Good review. I enjoy chess!

Fox KITSUNE,
Proud player of the Worlds First RTS!
 

Ancientgamer

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Jan 16, 2009
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Sven und EIN HUND said:
DannyBoy451 said:
I see what you did there, but no.
Yeah...Yeah.
MaxTheReaper said:
Oh, bullshit.

Real people have fought wars for the very same reason, I'll have you know!
"Well, you're too black!"
"Well, you're too white!"

And then everyone dies.
THE PLOT THICKENS!!
dududf said:
This is Satire in nature correct?
Lets hope so.

Btw, this is in the wrong forum
I didn't think it was long enough to be in the user review section.
 

IrishBerserker

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Oct 6, 2009
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vivaldiscool said:
That was kinda funny. I personally like chess though I can never find a skilled enough opponent to play against.

Also I like the developers at Viking games.

[sub]that joke sounded WAY better in my head[/sub]
 

TheMadTypist

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Sep 8, 2009
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Well, Chess is a thinking man's game. Which is why I can't play it. Even at the age of eight, playing Lego Chess on the lowest difficulty setting, I could never find out if the pirate got his treasure or not. Just couldn't win a game.

I had a friend who played in chess tournaments though, and he said it mostly just boiled down to following the same patterns every time depending on what pattern your opponent takes (vs. my 'move there because I feel like it' strategy).
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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I approve of the content in this thread. It would be even funnier if it were presented in a slightly more "professional" style. Gravitas and Satire can be a killer combination.