Ukraine Denies Weaponized Dolphin Program
- Thread starter JonB
- Start date
Neverhoodian said:Well of course it isn't weaponized dolphins. That's an Allied unit, silly. Now squid, that's another matter...
I have an uneasy feeling about their trainer as well...
"I've lost a bomb! Do you have it?"
Yes! Yes! 1000x Yes! That is one of my favorite games of all time (well at least Red Alert 2 anyway).
OT: The US has military trained dolphins (or at least use to) so I don't see what the big deal is.
My God, next thing you know, Moviebob's screenplay will be published!
<quote=Moviebob>
Much like "Beavers," this was the result of my dual interests in arcane wildlife factoids and cheesy movies about killer animals colliding and then refusing to leave my head. In this case, the factoid was: Did you know dolphins are actually kind of pretty big assholes?
And I don't just mean in the usual "hey this ostensibly-cute animal is actually dangerous" way, either. Dolphins are harsh. They violently beat each other up for show, commit infanticide, kill and maim other sea life for "play" (i.e. not for food, and they often go out of their way to target their cousin the porpoise) and are one of relatively few species observed to use sexual assault for purposes of injury (to the target) rather than forcible procreation. Granted, all of these behaviors exist in many other species, but to find them all in the persona of a creature that humanity regards as benign and even innately good seemingly based on the shape of their skulls looking like a permanent friendly smile to us struck me as somehow meaningful.
Yes, meaningful - looking back, "Bottlenose" was meant to be my socially conscious monster movie: A Jaws knockoff where the twist was that the residents of the besieged seaside village responded to the killings by staging mass hunts for local sharks, never realizing that the real killer was the visiting dolphin hanging around the harbor whom the locals had "adopted" as a summertime mascot. It would eventually have been revealed that the dolphin in question had gone full-on homicidal because it was suffering from PTSD (having been used as an experimental scout animal by the U.S. Navy) and had escaped from a secret Naval laboratory destroyed by Hurricane Katrina - believe it or not, some of that was based on a news story that was making the rounds back then.
In keeping with the "Think about it, won't you?" tone of whole production, one of the good guys would've been an idealistic wannabe marine biologist who would keep insisting that a dolphin couldn't be guilty because of high intelligence - "They're just like us!" being his constant refrain. Later on, after the hard evidence had been gathered and the requisite nature slide-show/lecture on the actual viciousness of dolphins had left said idealist visibly shaken, another character would've ironically quipped: "Damn. Rape, murder, even racism. You were right, man ... they really are just like us."
Deep.
<quote=Moviebob>
Much like "Beavers," this was the result of my dual interests in arcane wildlife factoids and cheesy movies about killer animals colliding and then refusing to leave my head. In this case, the factoid was: Did you know dolphins are actually kind of pretty big assholes?
And I don't just mean in the usual "hey this ostensibly-cute animal is actually dangerous" way, either. Dolphins are harsh. They violently beat each other up for show, commit infanticide, kill and maim other sea life for "play" (i.e. not for food, and they often go out of their way to target their cousin the porpoise) and are one of relatively few species observed to use sexual assault for purposes of injury (to the target) rather than forcible procreation. Granted, all of these behaviors exist in many other species, but to find them all in the persona of a creature that humanity regards as benign and even innately good seemingly based on the shape of their skulls looking like a permanent friendly smile to us struck me as somehow meaningful.
Yes, meaningful - looking back, "Bottlenose" was meant to be my socially conscious monster movie: A Jaws knockoff where the twist was that the residents of the besieged seaside village responded to the killings by staging mass hunts for local sharks, never realizing that the real killer was the visiting dolphin hanging around the harbor whom the locals had "adopted" as a summertime mascot. It would eventually have been revealed that the dolphin in question had gone full-on homicidal because it was suffering from PTSD (having been used as an experimental scout animal by the U.S. Navy) and had escaped from a secret Naval laboratory destroyed by Hurricane Katrina - believe it or not, some of that was based on a news story that was making the rounds back then.
In keeping with the "Think about it, won't you?" tone of whole production, one of the good guys would've been an idealistic wannabe marine biologist who would keep insisting that a dolphin couldn't be guilty because of high intelligence - "They're just like us!" being his constant refrain. Later on, after the hard evidence had been gathered and the requisite nature slide-show/lecture on the actual viciousness of dolphins had left said idealist visibly shaken, another character would've ironically quipped: "Damn. Rape, murder, even racism. You were right, man ... they really are just like us."
Deep.
Great, now there's going to be a Dolphin based arms race. Whoever has the most underwater assassins will win!
A dentist in the U.S. attempted to weaponize bats during WWII so I don't think it would be fair of me to judge them.
Does this mean we will soon get a movie along the lines of killer dolphins or has that been done before? Did anyone ever make a movie like Jaws, but with dolphins? What about Birdemic, but with dolphins?
Does this mean we will soon get a movie along the lines of killer dolphins or has that been done before? Did anyone ever make a movie like Jaws, but with dolphins? What about Birdemic, but with dolphins?
I need to be honest with everybody.
I am NOT trying to weaponize the towns stray dogs. I know, I know, I look like the kind of person who would strap lasers onto the dogs in order to overthrow the evil Cats of our world.
So what if you found the Blueprints, I still do not have the time to make them.
I am NOT trying to weaponize the towns stray dogs. I know, I know, I look like the kind of person who would strap lasers onto the dogs in order to overthrow the evil Cats of our world.
So what if you found the Blueprints, I still do not have the time to make them.
If they hadn't weaponized dolphins they wouldn't need to deny it, would they? I say you all are in this. ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!
Eh, seems somewhat unlikely, in that such things have been tried before, and not actually really worked.
This sounds like the set-up for a Flipper/Rambo crossover film. After escaping from military prison Flipper defects to the USA but his past comes back to haunt him and leads him to seek solitude in the Pacific North West. He comes across fellow recluse Rambo and shortly after the Ukraine special forces invade the region in search of the escaped dolphin. Hilarity and bloodshed ensues. Starring Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo and Gary Oldman as Flipper.