Universal truths

[Fairee]

Okay let me think of some actual truths for a change of pace.

5. Stephen Fry [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUVBXb4XIqE] will call you on at least 90% of the bullshit you think is fact.

Definitely true. Although he'd probably call you on significantly more, due to this currently being accepted as fact.

 

[Jenny Creed]

The moral is that nothing is universally true. Even that statement itself has its exceptions.

47) There is always at least one person who tries and ruin everybody elses fun

If your fun is spoiled by learning things your life will be filled with sadness or ignorance.

 

[Mindex]

Here's a universal truth: All things are avoidable, excepting Death, Taxes, Herpes, and the song "Billy Jean".

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

That's funny, we had a bear.

A dog came up to my class in the middle of summer school, and just stared at us through the open door. For about 45 seconds nobody moved.

 

[Biek]

The moral is that nothing is universally true. Even that statement itself has its exceptions.

47) There is always at least one person who tries and ruin everybody elses fun

If your fun is spoiled by learning things your life will be filled with sadness or ignorance.

Theres going to be significantly less sadness if we start ignoring you.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

48) Humans will find a way to fuck everything that could possibly be fucked up up.

 

[Brotherofwill]

You always lose your socks

Handling wood (chopping, carrying and especially throwing it) makes you feel manly

There is always atleast one list thread or "your favorite type of cheese" thread in the newest post section on the homepage of the Escapist

 

[Jenny Creed]

Theres going to be significantly less sadness if we start ignoring you.

Of course, all I could possibly offer is some knowledge. What's that compared to the joy of mindless self-indulgence?

48) Humans will find a way to fuck everything that could possibly be fucked up up.

We also find ways to make things better. Cheer up misantrophy face!

 

[Biek]

49) Death is the only certainty in life.

50) Noone made the helicopter jump for the first time in the first level of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

 

[ranc0re]

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

That is unless said man is using said dog in a devious scheme which entails the deflowering of young and nubile virgins who think guys carrying dogs are cuuuuuute.

 

[SmugFrog]

List of stuff

Nice list! So many of them are so true and made me laugh out loud.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Ahh the up turned plug

How bout

You will never plug something in sucessfully the first time, you will always miss the holes by a little

 

[FinalGamer]

If you own a cat, it will always lie itself on wrapping paper whenever you're preparing a present.

If you started gaming with the NES, you will always blow the inside of your game consoles if the game doesn't run.
Even the handhelds.

 

[Noseman26]

44) Anyone who spends more than 1 hour looking at porn is a lonely individual.

 

[sokka14]

lol at 29). so true.
since when did anyone EVER get their arm broken?

 

[NeutralDrow]

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

You've never seen a <url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i6H6M22z2k&feature=related>pygmy marmoset, have you? They look about as threatening as kitten sleeping off pot-comas.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Sideways Eight) I rock. And roll. All day long. Sweet Suzy.

 

[space_oddity]

22 made me laugh so hard it hurt my feet

 

[Lios]

52) There is no such thing as a best thing.
53) Always needs more cowbell.
9001) This joke is getting really damn old.

 

[neuromasser]

Science facts:
x1) When you drop a piece of buttered bread, it lands with the buttered side down.
x2) When you drop a cat from almost any height, it lands on the feet.

Conclusion: If you stick cat's feet to buttered side of bread, they are going to float in the air indefinitely.

 

[Lios]

Science facts:
x1) When you drop a piece of buttered bread, it lands with the buttered side down.
x2) When you drop a cat from almost any height, it lands on the feet.

Conclusion: If you stick cat's feet to buttered side of bread, they are going to float in the air indefinitely.

I'll go test this.