Unrealistic Expectations?

[Yureina]

Sometimes, whether it be in the real world or online, you meet people who are exceptional or who are clearly a step above the average. Everyone who comes into contact with this person recognizes this fact and the talent that has set this person apart, be it good looks, personality, or a set of skills. There is just something about this person that makes them "special". They could be a rare lurker on an internet forum who gets noticed during their rare apperances or the most famous of real world celebrities. Being someone who is somehow remarkable, it is not difficult to understand that people are often drawn to them for advice, discussion, or friendship.

But when you do actually get to know this person, or at least when I do, you start to find things that disturb you. I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others, and especially so if those negative factors appear to be in direct contradiction with a person's "public image". What ends up happening is that this remarkable person, rather than being someone to admire, ends up being brought down to a very low level in my mind because this person is not as exceptional as they appear. It may even turn into feelings of disdain or distrust because I no longer feel like this person is truthful or honest because of the discrepancy between what they say and their actions as I see them. The thing is... I know that people are not perfect and do indeed have problems, but when someone is held up so high by others, it may become very difficult to remember that.

Discussion Question: Have you found yourself meeting an exceptional person who you later found to have some serious personal flaws under the surface? What did you think when you found out? How much did this discovery disturb you or affect your relations with this person?

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

Well one of my friends had a friend on Xbox Live who was pretty funny, but it turned out later that he was extremely racist.

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Well it depends what is meant by 'exceptional'.

I've met people who others were drawn to because of their spirit and personality... they had many personal flaws but they didn't hide them, they openly admitted to them.

Others possibly... I find the 'popular' people at school and in college are all incredibly shallow and often not very smart.

But then again I just distance myself from those people anyway.

 

[FolkLikePanda]

I met this bloke on XBox who was a chav but after a while of playing zombies with him he was sound as a pound and he even knew I was a greeb or rocker or whatever you call it I listen to that kind of stuff and now he won't fucking leave me alone!!!

 

[Sharkosauros]

I've met tons of people who i thought they were awesome, and turned out to be douches, (in real and online) well in real , its most by looks i guess, no one cares about "special talents" in 9th grade cept good looks and sports, everything else is suckish and nerdish, and online , well u play with someone, grind with em, but when u actually start talking to em... u might not like what u hear/see , most of those "epic" players i have met in manny games, turned out to be racist/homophobic/egocentric, 3 things i simply hate , i just move away slowly from them... talk less and less everyday till the day we just say hi across the street/moon(?!?) (applys for real and online) >.<

 

[Yureina]

There was someone at my old school who everyone help up on a pedestal for being funny, 'cool' and boasting about all the sex he'd had. He started hanging around in my group and I my suspicions were confirmed that he was actually just an arrogant prick.

How did you and your friends decide to deal with this fellow, if at all?

 

[Darktau]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

 

[Darktau]

There was someone at my old school who everyone help up on a pedestal for being funny, 'cool' and boasting about all the sex he'd had. He started hanging around in my group and I my suspicions were confirmed that he was actually just an arrogant prick.

Hah, whenever someone I know boasts about sex, I clear my throat (bad choice of words) and just call bull in a very over the top way (Then they stutter and it's really obviously they are lying )

 

[Yureina]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

I would not really call it "fun", to be honest. It does allow me a considerable amount of self-protection against wolves in sheeps clothing, but otherwise it is not entirely useful or helpful. Makes me feel like people who unjustifiably call me a negative person have some basis for such words. >_<

 

[Casual Shinji]

Everyone can look and act cool behind a spiffy nickname and a shiny avatar, but that's the internet for ya.

I really don't meet many new people - online or off - so I don't really have that much experience with discovering the reality behind someone.

 

[Brandon237]

My girlfriend is exceptional and has stayed that way, no serious flaws there, and to prove my point: She's good-looking, not dazzling, but good looking, the best artist in my grade of 300 people, the brightest person in my grade of 300 people, and she and I are the only two people who understand half of each other. Sorry, now I'm just bragging, but no, normally if there is a serious problem I ever really get to the high expectations stage.

 

[Darktau]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

I would not really call it "fun", to be honest. It does allow me a considerable amount of self-protection against wolves in sheeps clothing, but otherwise it is not entirely useful or helpful. Makes me feel like people who unjustifiably call me a negative person have some basis for such words. >_<

I tend to put on ma super duper happy face when around other people lol. I don't tend to be on the receiving end of much, I tend to be able to talk my way out of most situations anyway .

And perhaps fun was the wrong word, it's more of an ability it would be a shame to loose.

 

[Yureina]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

I would not really call it "fun", to be honest. It does allow me a considerable amount of self-protection against wolves in sheeps clothing, but otherwise it is not entirely useful or helpful. Makes me feel like people who unjustifiably call me a negative person have some basis for such words. >_<

I tend to put on ma super duper happy face when around other people lol. I don't tend to be on the receiving end of much, I tend to be able to talk my way out of most situations anyway .

And perhaps fun was the wrong word, it's more of an ability it would be a shame to loose.

Probably. I'd call it an ability that is a mix of a gift and a curse.

 

[Darktau]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

I would not really call it "fun", to be honest. It does allow me a considerable amount of self-protection against wolves in sheeps clothing, but otherwise it is not entirely useful or helpful. Makes me feel like people who unjustifiably call me a negative person have some basis for such words. >_<

I tend to put on ma super duper happy face when around other people lol. I don't tend to be on the receiving end of much, I tend to be able to talk my way out of most situations anyway .

And perhaps fun was the wrong word, it's more of an ability it would be a shame to loose.

Probably. I'd call it an ability that is a mix of a gift and a curse.

I don't know the phrase but its: rather be something than blissful and ignorant.

 

[Yureina]

I understand that this may not occur for everyone, but I personally appear to have a talent for finding the flaws and weaknesses in others,

Oooh, fun isn't it?

OT: No, I tend to over-analyze people to the point that I don't like a single person I know >.<

I would not really call it "fun", to be honest. It does allow me a considerable amount of self-protection against wolves in sheeps clothing, but otherwise it is not entirely useful or helpful. Makes me feel like people who unjustifiably call me a negative person have some basis for such words. >_<

I tend to put on ma super duper happy face when around other people lol. I don't tend to be on the receiving end of much, I tend to be able to talk my way out of most situations anyway .

And perhaps fun was the wrong word, it's more of an ability it would be a shame to loose.

Probably. I'd call it an ability that is a mix of a gift and a curse.

I don't know the phrase but its: rather be something than blissful and ignorant.

"Ignorance is bliss"

That's something I don't really experience.

 

[Umwerfer]

Analyzing and finding flaws in people, is common place. Everybody does that, only the depth of the perception varies. What do you do once you've stumbled upon something? Me, I'm the kind of person who bottles it up unless it is reeeeeally important. if it didn't affect people I care about in a negative way, I wouldn't give a damn

 

[Darktau]

Hah, whenever someone I know boasts about sex, I clear my throat (bad choice of words) and just call bull in a very over the top way (Then they stutter and it's really obviously they are lying )

Very bad choice of words sir, to the point I am going to deliberately clear my own throat and make funny gestures so if anyone reads this it'll come off very strange and quite funny.

Your right, it did. I'm not sure why you would do that sir, you are a very strange person

 

[kurupt87]

Having decent empathetic and intuitive skills, backed by a critical intelligence with a light sprinkling of a pragmatic outlook does do wonders for your social life.

 

[Aunel]

Well one of my friends had a friend on Xbox Live who was pretty funny, but it turned out later that he was extremely racist.

dude, it's Live what did you expect?

OT: oh yes I became best friends with someone, until they said "bass is a stupid instrument"
it went downhill from there...

 

[The Geek Lord]

"Ignorance is bliss"

That's something I don't really experience.

I certainly do, but that's usually when I play an SNES JRPG that gives you no clue as to where to go next, therefore I do not advance, and therefore don't bash my head against a wall from the retarded story line.

Trolling aside, there was this one guy in an MMORPG called Dofus, and at first the dude seemed like a really cool guy. He healed our group and didn't afraid of anything. And then he turned out to be a loud, obnoxious, arrogant shithead with the intellectual capacity equivalent to that of a brick. It actually led to a funny occasion where he agro'd me while I wasn't at my computer, and my level 150-something friend joined and beat the shit out of him.

Good times, good times.