Unskippable: Alpha Prime - In Space, No One Can Hear How Awful Your Game Is

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
0
0
Alpha Prime - In Space, No One Can Hear How Awful Your Game Is

No really, this is truly terrible. Enjoy!

Watch Video
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
0
0
So I actually got this game on steam like a million years ago for $.99. It was strangely enjoyable. Like an edwood movie. the combat and dialog is so cheesy it's hilarious. It was fun and just short enough not to be miserable to get through. God watching that again, I forgot how nonsensical this game is.
 

vxicepickxv

Slayer of Bothan Spies
Sep 28, 2008
3,126
0
0
Is that in USD or CAD? I mean, 99 cents might be okay, but I would probably pay 20 Zimbabwe dollars for it.
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
0
0
vxicepickxv said:
Is that in USD or CAD? I mean, 99 cents might be okay, but I would probably pay 20 Zimbabwe dollars for it.
Look if you wanna stir someones heart go read poetry at an old folks home.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
6,374
0
0
Livia sounded like she was being filtered through one of those video game communicators that every protagonist gets in games that don't want to seem like they're throwing too many cutscenes at the player.
 
Jan 12, 2012
2,114
0
0
Oh thank goodness. I thought for a minute that Livia was afflicted with some terrible disease that required her to constantly walk around and lounge in uncomfortable positions, but I guess she was just trying a bit of that old-fashioned sex appeal. I guess you need that when wall ads might distract people at any time by spouting narratively-convenient dialogue and then becoming silent again.

Also, is it too much to ask for people to wear t-shirts in space? I mean, the guys on the ISS don't go around in form-fitting bodysuits, there's no reason for it unless you like hearing the squeak of pleather and nylon every time you move.
 

josemlopes

New member
Jun 9, 2008
3,950
0
0
piscian said:
So I actually got this game on steam like a million years ago for $.99. It was strangely enjoyable. Like an edwood movie. the combat and dialog is so cheesy it's hilarious. It was fun and just short enough not to be miserable to get through. God watching that again, I forgot how nonsensical this game is.
I had it for god knows how long too and tried it out two days ago, it did seems to have some cool stuff, that vision mode that lets you hack into stuff had a cool interface at least, but I really liked how smooth it ran on my very crappy computer considering what it offers visually. I was suprised when I noticed how the glass could be interacted with, it even had some refraction that distorted what was behind it and its kind of an evolved version of what was already present in Half Life 2 but its still miles ahead of what is usually now present in games.
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
4,296
0
0
josemlopes said:
piscian said:
So I actually got this game on steam like a million years ago for $.99. It was strangely enjoyable. Like an edwood movie. the combat and dialog is so cheesy it's hilarious. It was fun and just short enough not to be miserable to get through. God watching that again, I forgot how nonsensical this game is.
I had it for god knows how long too and tried it out two days ago, it did seems to have some cool stuff, that vision mode that lets you hack into stuff had a cool interface at least, but I really liked how smooth it ran on my very crappy computer considering what it offers visually. I was suprised when I noticed how the glass could be interacted with, it even had some refraction that distorted what was behind it and its kind of an evolved version of what was already present in Half Life 2 but its still miles ahead of what is usually now present in games.
It's a strange piece of software. Not surprisingly it's from one of those Far eastern european countries which explains why the dialog translation is pretty deranged.

I found the combat enjoyable because it's insanely hard and the AI acts completely bizarre. At times it will charge directly at you guns blazing only to retreat and strafe across hallways laying down suppressing fire. The game is fun if you can put yourself in the right mindset for it. I honestly can't remember what the story was even about.

I find myself enjoying this "out there" kind of games especially from "1c company". It's another far eastern publisher and my favorite game from them being Cryostasis. This FPS about being trapped on a ship in the Arctic, freezing too death and reliving the crews deaths to solve the puzzles and escape. At the end you fight a God or something I don't know.
 

Dr.Susse

Lv.1 NPC
Apr 17, 2009
16,495
0
0
Oh god I remember when LRR played this live on stream.

You should see the melee weapon in action. Breaks physics I tell ya!
 

Strife2GFAQs

New member
Apr 13, 2009
130
0
0
That was so awful, I couldn't even finish watching. I pray for whoever watched the whole mess of **** dialogue.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
14,334
0
0
"Don't play this game."

Thanks Graham, but I was already turned off this game. You needed have bothered saying that.
 

Space Jawa

New member
Feb 2, 2010
551
0
0
Yeah, I was barely able to get that even with the commentary. Had to pause half-way through to recover from the first half.

Doesn't get much more terrible than that.
 

Makabriel

New member
May 13, 2013
547
0
0
So is it just me, or was the actress phoning it in?

I mean... literally

It's like she was doing her lines on a conference phone.
 

RifkaMarie

Disillusioned Optimist
Jul 22, 2009
26
0
0
This game sounds like they used a Madlibs generator to make fake Mike Hammer/film noir dialogue. All they need to do is SAY THAT as a selling point, and this could actually be hilarious!

If they're serious, on the other hand... *sigh!* It's so, so sad.
 

Kenjitsuka

New member
Sep 10, 2009
3,051
0
0
Okay, wow... that's not even worthy of being called voice *acting*... I'm not sure WHAT it is, but not that. :O
Perhaps something with the word "lobotomy" in it.

UNLESS! The characters previously all got hit by terrible amounts of "radiation" and the voice actors in fact delivered top notch impressions of what that would do to a person!!! :D
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
5,034
0
0
Well shit, now I HAVE to see this game. Off to the Tubes of Yu'uu, I guess...
 

WhiteFangofWhoa

New member
Jan 11, 2008
2,548
0
0
Guess you played it a bit first... sure the models were PS2 era, but the narration wasn't any clumsier than any of a dozen other games you've done.
 

Dalisclock

Making lemons combustible again
Legacy
Apr 18, 2020
6,781
1,421
118
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Kenjitsuka said:
Okay, wow... that's not even worthy of being called voice *acting*... I'm not sure WHAT it is, but not that. :O
Perhaps something with the word "lobotomy" in it.

UNLESS! The characters previously all got hit by terrible amounts of "radiation" and the voice actors in fact delivered top notch impressions of what that would do to a person!!! :D
Maybe Hubbardium(?) emits radiation that....turns you into a Scientologist? I got nothing.
 

ZippyDSMlee

New member
Sep 1, 2007
3,959
0
0
I'm going to have to call BS the gameplay was solid and better than most COD/BF games,reminded me of Unreal pre Unreal 2:We tried copying halo, its a not great but its endearing tho as far as bad but good B titles go Cryostaisis:Sleep of reason rocks.

I do not judge B titles and AAA titles with the same level of hatred, trashy 70$ AAA titles need everything that can be thrown at them.

Speaking of fun B titles anyone play Damantion? Sure its dragy and it has AC levels of filler climbing but it was kidna cool.


Have to give an honorable mention to Singularity while a AAA tile not really deserving of full price it was a decent game at least, better than BS:I....