Unskippable: Dark

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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Eric Bane. Dark. Dammit, there's a Dark Knight Rises joke in there somewhere, I just know it!
 

The Random One

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May 29, 2008
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If you wanted to know what's worse than Twilight's abstinence vampires, there you have it: exposition vampires.
 

Rangerboy87

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Jul 1, 2011
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So wait...you do a video for a game called Dark and not one Mike Patton joke...you guys must be slipping
 

Random Wanderer

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Apr 15, 2009
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That was... pretty bad. I do not know who writes this crap, but the game would have to be pretty epic to be worth sitting through it.
 

Farther than stars

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Jun 19, 2011
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Ah, poking fun at shaky mythology is just too easy. And I still have no idea what's happening. First she says she's a vampire, then she says she has no idea of what it's like to become a vampire. I mean, make up your bloody mind! (Pun intended.)

Random Wanderer said:
That was... pretty bad. I do not know who writes this crap, but the game would have to be pretty epic to be worth sitting through it.
I think including this as an unskippable cutscene prevents it from ever being epic.
 

Jessta

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Feb 8, 2011
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"You don't want to know what happens and I don't even KNOW what happens but here's exactly what happens." best quote ever.
 

Mydnyght

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Feb 17, 2010
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Random Wanderer said:
That was... pretty bad. I do not know who writes this crap, but the game would have to be pretty epic to be worth sitting through it.
Well, Yahtzee suffered through it. You decide if he'd think Dark is epic.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/7823-Dark
 

GodzillaGuy92

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Jul 10, 2012
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An epiphany: Thanks squarely to the lifeless open-mouth-close-mouth-rinse-repeat lip syncing in this game, I have realized that criticizing character animation is every bit as justified as criticizing their voice acting (character animation just being another component of a performance, after all).

Congratulations, Dark; you've contributed to a world in which David Cage's inane obsession with polygons contains some small measure of validity after all.
 

Aptspire

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Mar 13, 2008
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*As a monologue* "My name's Eric Bane. Time to find out who I am." Is it just me, or does this sound super pretentious?
 

Jburton9

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Aug 21, 2012
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Awesome job guys thank you! This is now my favorite Unskippable episode : ) So much material to make fun of lol.

Wow I knew and heard that the game Dark was bad but sheesh I had no idea it was this rough. I was well kinda, sorta hoping it would be a more action based Vampire Bloodlines but I guess I will have to wait for a hopefully better game or a long awaited sequel.
 

DanHibiki

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Aug 5, 2009
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I'd like to think that Bane's voice actor recorded all the dialogue in the game with one endless and emotionless monotone take.