Update 2: EA Dismisses Dungeon Keeper Mobile Criticism

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Are you implying that one's career should be worth more than one's pride, character and honesty?

HAHAHAHAHA- wait, are you serious?

Well I sure as hell am implying that exact thing. Hell, I'm outright SAYING it. Wait until you're married and working and the bills start rolling in. (I'm assuming from your post that you're neither married nor gainfully employed, by the way.) Then tell me how you're gonna pay them with "pride, character, and honesty".

Being a rebel in this world earns you nothing but social outcast status. Perfect conformity earns you money and women. Plus, if you work for "the man" in the right way, and aren't afraid of making or taking a back-hander here or there, you might actually BECOME "the man". That way you get all the chicks you want, plus you're in a position to start taking bribes and exercising your sadistic dictatorial instincts on your unfortunate underlings. Bonus!

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

I'd rather consumers stop giving EA money for broken products and poor service.

Bingo. If it wasn't profitable, they'd stop doing it.

 

[Rangerboy87]

Players and Critics: "Your game sucks and is a ripoff!"

EA: "You're playing it wrong."

Wow, EA. And you wonder why you keep winning worst company? Most companies with this outrage on their hands usually apologize to those who dislike their game and vow to investigate the issue. That might not mean much, but it's a hell of a lot better than "You're playing it wrong"

Just when I thought it looked like EA was turning a corner and being not awful, all is right with the world again

*folds hands in prayer* "Dear Lord, please let Jim take a whack at this. Please let Jim take a whack at this. Thank you, God, for Jim"

 

[ForumSafari]

Are you implying that one's career should be worth more than one's pride, character and honesty?

Unfortunate truth time: if you have dependants it is.

 

[uchytjes]

Wanna know something funny? I just got an e-mail from the google play store with the "best deals" on the store. Dungeon Keeper was at the top of it. I swear, EA is putting way too much money into advertising this piece of shit.

 

[lacktheknack]

*folds hands in prayer* "Dear Lord, please let Jim take a whack at this. Please let Jim take a whack at this. Thank you, God, for Jim"

<link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/10956-Dungeon-Keeper-Mobile-Review-Wallet-Reaper>

There's enough rage-smashing in there already, I don't think we need a full episode on it.

 

[Ieyke]

"We are EA and we give no shits if we make terrible games."

They want ALL of the Golden Poos.
http://consumerist.com/2013/04/09/ea-makes-worst-company-in-america-history-wins-title-for-second-year-in-a-row/

 

[Gennadios]

EA doesn't make mobile games. I can't call there Dragon Age mobile monstrosity a game as I've yet to find any 'gameplay' and I'm not planning to even try this one. I'm just surprised anyone expected anything different.

As Total Biscuit pointed out though, the Dungeon Overlord facebook game was pretty good back in the day, wasn't it published by EA?

 

[Nimcha]

I don't see the problem really. If you wanna play, you pay. Simple as.

 

[LordLundar]

I don't see the problem really. If you wanna play, you pay. Simple as.

So you're perfectly okay with paying more than twice as much as the original games AT LAUNCH to play this piece of crap like the original games for a time span of maybe an hour?

Congratulations, you are EA's target audience, far more money than intelligence.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Ugh. Fuck games. I'm gonna go read a book or something.

Better make sure it's not an e-Book by EA. If so, you will need to either wait 1 hour or pay 0,30$ to bypass the timer after each page.

Didn't you know? Books are not meant to be read at your leisure. You are supposed to read one page on the bus (must be a very short ride... goes without saying) to wherever you are going and then another page at bed, before you sleep (wouldn't want you to keep reading and miss minutes from your beauty sleep, now would we).

Don't forget that the book comes with 1 noun as standard. To access the full set of nouns you have to pay the $15 DLC for placenames, and the $20 DLC with character names, or you could pay for the $1 gamble pack that offers the chance to win a single name for either forever or a limited time, as well as offering cosmetics like different text fonts and colours!

That started out as a joke, but if EA were book publishers, that would literally be their publishing model. That is the state of the nickel and diming of videogames today.

 

[hazabaza1]

Also keep in mind that this is a page of the majority of the reviews on the google play page:

So yeah it's pretty shitty. I think we all suspected that though.

 

[Stryc9]

I see lots of fake 5 star reviews in that screenshot. Every one that says "Cool cool" was most definitely written by the same person creating multiple accounts.

Also, a seemingly simple way around their underhanded bullshit would be to rate the game directly through the Google Play store instead of using the in-app rating system.