Useless team mates

[ejb626]

My friend recently hit level 30 in LoL and now he won't queue with me because he thinks I won't be able to handle the people he gets matched up with. I'm not the best LoL player myself but I've had some bad teams. This was the worst one, they fed the enemy team a full 5-course meal.

Spoiler

You probably can't see that very well, but it was bad. Hasn't improved much either. In my most recent match I got all Spanish speakers, they really need to give Latin Americans their own server. I don't hold them speaking another language against them but I can't collaborate with my team at all if I don't know what they're saying. Also in general the people who complain about "kill stealing" it doesn't matter who gets the kill as long as enemy champions are dying.

One of my funniest matches of TF2 was on 2Fort with a pissed off Southern guy yelling at everyone through the mic when they dropped the enemy intelligence and heavily berating every player on our team until the intel was captured all while playing sniper, the class that contributes least to the objective on 2fort.

 

[Zeldias]

The last time I was legit angry with my teammates was doing freaking Ascalonian Catacombs in GW2. It's not hard. I've cleared it fine plenty of times. I play a support Warrior with a hammer and two maces because I've found the control is really useful and the damage is acceptable, plus I keep a rifle for pulling and ranged damage when it's needed.

We're at the part where you pull the levers to kill the mobs with spikes for a while before the boss comes. Motherfuckers at first don't pull the levers. Then they pull them randomly, getting me (who, despite us having a Ranger and a Thief, had to kite) killed repeatedly. I've never had trouble with that event until then. It was soul-crushing.

Other times were when I was yelled at in TF2 for playing Scout to steal the enemy flag (briefcase, whatever) because all my other teammates were deathmatching. Had people rant at me for playing Vanguard in ME3 MP as I revive them because of their stupid mistakes and cover them from being flanked out of cover. Don't even get me started on Monster Hunter and Ragnarok Odyssey.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Leeches.

Anyone that's fought in Jade Quarry or Fort Aspenwood will know exactly what I mean.

There were also several times in Fort Aspenwood that I was running amber and a DPS teammate will jump in and attack an opponent that's chasing me, but run the hell away the moment they take any damage or another opponent shows up, leaving me to die and making it that much harder to get our walls back up.

There are also some teammates that'll deliberately let the quarries get taken from us all for the sake of getting more Faction Points when we take it back. I wouldn't normally have a problem with this. But when I do, it's because we're 5 points behind the opposing team because your dumb ass won't defend the quarries long enough for us to catch the fuck up. I don't care if you're a Monk/Paragon, I don't care if you're a Ranger, I don't care if you're an AoE Elementalist. You earn less Faction Points for losing.

That, or they're busy being too stupid to defend the goddamn Juggernaut/Turtles. >>

 

[Beautiful End]

Yeah, I'm not sure why people keep doing that; ganging against others and shooting them just for shits and giggles, I guess. I run into people like that all the time. They're just trolling.
The other day, I was playing Blood Harvest with some guys. We all stepped out of the safe house, all of us with good health and a health pack. The other guys ran into a mob and pretty much got almost killed. They used their health pack but they still got almost killed. I kept my distance and watched out for special Infected (You know, sound cues or fast movement). So I was on orange health and still with a health pack. So one of the other guys starts shoving me (We didn't have headsets). I move away but he keeps at it. I assume he wants me to heal him, to which I replied with a mental "Ha! I am not wasting my health pack on you! You already spent yours and you're not being a good teammate anyway!".

So he starts shooting me, trying to kill him. I run ahead, trying to escape from him. By now, it's pretty obvious he's trying to kill me.

So what happens? They kick me out! me, the only person who was playing correctly and kinda kept them alive.

I dunno, sometimes, bad people just gang against good players. :l

There was this one time at band camp in No Mercy, where I and a team of three other people with microphones had pretty much been kicking ass and taking names the whole time, right? We make it to the elevator, and just as we're about to board it, a vote comes up kicking me.

I swear to you, I had done nothing but contribute to that team, and we were several hundred points up on the other team, but the vote instantly fills up and I'm kicked. The guy who called it said "bye-bye" as I was being removed from the server, and I could honestly just head the in his voice.

Yes, I can hear emoticons. I'm an advanced form of life.

Yeah, it really pisses me off when you can hear the sarcasm or malice in their voice. I feel powerless because, truly, you can't do anything about it.
Thanks to people like that, I've gotten real used to the Review a Player feature. Whenever someone's playing horribly or they kick me out like that, I just tag them as Avoided Player and I give them a bad score.

Doesn't help much but...at least its something.

 

[angry_flashlight]

Battlefield 3: I've lost count on the number of times I'm put on a team of literally pants-on-head-retarded players. Rush? Camp in spawn. Conquest? Camp a single flag/base/fly around in jets doing nothing. I can only carry so much. It just frustrates me to go the all the trouble of getting a push going only to die, have no one back me up and go back to step one. Or worse, have my 'teammates' give the enemy free vehicles. Enemy has double IFV on Conquest Bazaar = you lose. The problem I find is that often when I lose it's not my fault, it's just that my team has the intelligence of a cucumber. When the next guy below me not in my squad is 3000+ points below me, I just shake my head in disappointment. I mean really?

All I ask for is competence, that's all. Just be okay. I can take it from there. Don't run in packs of 8 all facing in one direction like a bunch of zerglings, because all it takes it 1 guy to flank and rack up a multikill, then we're all boned. I know, I've done it. Don't get out of your tanks in front of the enemy, all they're going to do is steal it. Actually watch the lane you're looking at, nothing pisses me off more than being killed by a guy who literally ran past 4+ teammates. AGH! /rage

 

[IamSofaKingRaw]

The Walking Dead

Clementine....

 

[Doom972]

In Team Fortress 2, I sometimes find myself in a team that has too many spies and snipers, most of which just hide and wait for an opportunity that never comes, leaving the rest (which sometimes means me and two others) to capture/defend/push the cart. It's annoying to see a spy from my team staying cloaked while I get my ass handed to me by the entire enemy team, only to come back and find three friendly snipers near the spawn point waiting for a target.

Another annoying phenomenon: Engineers who build exclusively near the spawn point. It means that they become useful only once the enemy is about to win, which they should've helped prevent in the first place.

 

[bossfight1]

One time I was playing CoD 4, I picked my sniper class and we got to the map with the crashed chopper in the middle, I went to the top of that three story building to snipe, this asshole on my team comes with me and keeps trying to knife me, and throws a smoke grenade in front of me to obscure my vision. He didn't really hinder my efforts any but he was still irritating.

Also, this probably doesn't count, but in Borderlands 2, the Mechromancer's Deathtrap is borderline useless; when I'm in Fight For Your Life he restores my shields rather than actually attack someone and help me in an effective way. I only use him to draw enemy fire, but other wise he's pretty much just a bunch of noise... seriously, sometimes he'll make this insanely loud "VUHVUHVUHVUHVUHVUHVUHVUH" noise that drives me nuts.

 

[RedDeadFred]

It's (first world problem) story time kids!

So yeah last night I lost a match on league of legends (Oh noes), however I received 4 "honourable opponent" ratings from the opposing side. you know why? simply because they felt sorry for me I guess. The reason of course being the absolute shambles of a "team" that I was paired up with. (Why oh why do my friends go off so early and leave me with the randomers?)

<spoiler=Details for anyone who cares or actually plays LoL>Okay so my team consisted of me playing as Brolaf in jungle, a Lux mid, a Sion top and a Nunu/miss Fortune in bot lane. Things went from good to bad QUICKLY, I had literally zero communication with my team mates despite my best efforts. The Sion didn't activate his enrage AT ALL!

The Lux, nunu and MF were just generally bad, they didn't have any coordination, blindly running in WITHOUT ME "Herp derp let's take on 5 enemies with just the 3 of us". Just in case anyone is wondering, no I didn't engage in any arguments or verbal abuse with my incompetent team mates despite how badly I wanted to. I know the LoL community is often viewed as a bunch of raging children but no, I don't go that low (not often anyway).[sub]I just whine on the forums instead[/sub]

Surrendered at 22 minutes with a KDR of 9/5. :*3

Anyway on to the discussion. anyone ever had poor teams (in other games) before? I imagine most gamers have had this anyway so would you care to share your funny/depressing stories with me?

I know the feeling...

The worst teammates are the ones who deliberately do things to screw up the game, not things that are against the rules mind you just things that are blatantly wrong. You don't try your very hardest to steal all of your ADC's CS if you are support without buying a single ward.

 

[Fijiman]

Just about every person in Halo I end up on a team with.

I know I am damned good but, come on, put me in a team with people of my equal skill level! It really says something when I have 23 of our 48 kills.

Oh do I know that feeling. For me no matter what game I play, be it Halo or CoD or whatever else, 90% of the guys I'm paired with are either completely useless, kill stealing shits, or just generally annoying as hell. And as if to add insult to injury, at least 80% of the guys I'm paired against seem to be well organized teams/clans who only play that game all day and abuse every cheap ass tactic in the book.

 

[DkLnBr]

Halo 4 has the worst teammates I have yet to encounter in any video game, and that's pretty big considering I've been playing since the NES.

You take the vehicle they want? They plasma pistol you and throw grenades.

You take the sniper that spawns? They squat in front of you and jump around like a moron.

They'll keep doing all this till the end of the game, to. Every single stereotype about Halo players is true, I don't even see this level of asshattery in CoD or Gears.

Sorry I dont really have anything to contribute to this thread, I just wanted to say that your avatar is perfect for what you're talking about. I can imagine everyone here doing that same thing when all of this happens.

 

[geK0]

I don't really care too much about people's in game performance as long as they're trying, I just hate rude players (especially ones that are bad and hamstring your team's performance with their refusal to cooperate or compromise).

I also get a lot of very inconsiderate people in solo queue when it comes to calling roles to; I'll pick a character who's generally known to be an AP mid for example (karthus, veigar, katarina etc.) and about 5 seconds later one of them will be saying "mid" and locking in their own pick.... I mean, did they seriously think I was going to go jungle with veigar or something? Seems sort of like an implied pick to me. I'm usually fine with choosing another role, but those kinds of people really grind my gears.

 

[Polarity27]

Just about every person in Halo I end up on a team with.

I know I am damned good but, come on, put me in a team with people of my equal skill level! It really says something when I have 23 of our 48 kills.

I hate, HATE the fact that Halo 4 took out the ability to sort by skill level. Why would they do this? I'm terrible at PVP and it's no fun for me to spend the whole match dead, and it's clearly no fun for you to get stuck with a bunch of players like me.

That was such a good idea in Reach, I don't get why they got rid of it.

 

[xPixelatedx]

Sorry I dont really have anything to contribute to this thread, I just wanted to say that your avatar is perfect for what you're talking about. I can imagine everyone here doing that same thing when all of this happens.

Actually I find this avatar fitting for everything I reply to on the escapist. I mean lets face it, 8 times out of 10 the news posted here isn't good news. XD

 

[Padwolf]

I've posted here before and now I'm back to rant. So I've just come out of the worst league of legends game ever. Me and my boyfriend were bot lane, doing really well. Playing really well. Our top lane Rengar however, sat in the bushes for mot of the game and did nothing when an enemy walked by him. Our mid lane Katarina played really badly, she kept doing a shun po into the enemy team when no one was near enough to help her and she often did it without reason. She also kept coming into team fights then buggered off into the bushes, the enemy team followed her and killed her instantly. Our jungle Malphite kept getting into situations he shouldn't have been. My boyfriend however was playing really well and it was a damn shame the rest of the team weren't. I was playing well, but I kept trying to save everyone. So I died too.

 

[42Weasels]

Tried to play a game with my brother and a friend of his the other day, and we surrendered at 20. I went jungle vi, with varus sona bot, kayle mid, and jax top. Mid got crushed right away by ap blitz somehow, and that led to shaco and blitz setting up camp in my jungle. Bot lane died fast and often to kog, and then jax started to whine about how I wasn't ganking him....even though I was still level 2 at 5 minutes. In other words we got crushed. I handled it very simply:

1. Commended the enemy team for kicking my ass so hard, and gave them honorable opponent for not verbally abusing even after the 20 - 3 lead they had at 10 minutes (I had the 3 kills).
2. Reported our carry for "unskilled player" as this isn't the only time my brother has performed this bad
3. Stomped a couple arams and watched some youtube
4. Moved on with my life.

I accept that there will always be bad players on my team, and the longer I play videogames, the opportunities I will have to be stuck with them. Don't get worked up, just move on. Eventually these bad players will be on the other team and things will be good.

 

[verdant monkai]

The Walking Dead

Clementine....

What about that time she saved you from being eaten by cannibals by going through a vent?

Or the time when she went over the bars to get components to cut through the tanker?

Or that time she opened the door to the house you use as a base for episode 4 and 5?


The most useless AI team mate I know is Miller from Metro 2033. There is a part where you are bombarded with kamikaze amoebas, and instead of running through them like you do (you take next to no damage if you just run) he just walk slowly and calmly through.
After dying 13 times he made me rage quit I had to come back the next day to finish the game. Good thing I did too its a brilliant game aside from the Miller escort caper.

 

[joshthor]

yup. thats league of legends. sometimes you just get terrible teams. this morning i played jungle kha'zix we had a riven top. i asked for help with a leash, riven didnt bother to even approach my jungle and our mid helped as best she could. however, i ended up behind because of a terrible leash. before i even hit level 3 riven was complaining about me not ganking and how she was going to end up dived. she then rage quit at level 3. sometimes people just suck.

 

[Thyunda]

Battlefield 3: I've lost count on the number of times I'm put on a team of literally pants-on-head-retarded players. Rush? Camp in spawn. Conquest? Camp a single flag/base/fly around in jets doing nothing. I can only carry so much. It just frustrates me to go the all the trouble of getting a push going only to die, have no one back me up and go back to step one. Or worse, have my 'teammates' give the enemy free vehicles. Enemy has double IFV on Conquest Bazaar = you lose. The problem I find is that often when I lose it's not my fault, it's just that my team has the intelligence of a cucumber. When the next guy below me not in my squad is 3000+ points below me, I just shake my head in disappointment. I mean really?

All I ask for is competence, that's all. Just be okay. I can take it from there. Don't run in packs of 8 all facing in one direction like a bunch of zerglings, because all it takes it 1 guy to flank and rack up a multikill, then we're all boned. I know, I've done it. Don't get out of your tanks in front of the enemy, all they're going to do is steal it. Actually watch the lane you're looking at, nothing pisses me off more than being killed by a guy who literally ran past 4+ teammates. AGH! /rage

A Domination game had gone terribly wrong, and we ended up in a 2v5 match. The enemy controlled all three control points on Métro, and we were forced back to our spawn by the Café. My team-mate, a far higher rank than me, because I was new to the game, lay prone at the spawn attempting to fight a sniper's duel with the enemy, who were poking out of half the windows of the building to the left of the control point. Obviously, we were in a bit of trouble.

So I took the low-level shotgun - that one with the numbers. And I dashed toward the wall beside the freeway, and edged my way along it to keep out of view of the snipers. I crept around to the ramp behind the building and hugged the wall as I approached the door. Then I burst in and shotgunned every last one of the motherfuckers. They respawned, and tried to retake the building from the Crazy Shotgun Man, but every single one of them ate buckshot the second they came into my new domain. They were getting royally fucked up and you could tell they were getting frustrated. The Café lay open for capture. Our way back into this game was clear.

Eventually I was killed, and I respawned to find that stupid fuck on my team STILL prone and STILL trying to snipe them! God I was mad. I took to duelling the snipers with an RPG.

We lost that game, by the way. In case that wasn't obviously inevitable.

 

[C4tt4nn4]

well, one time in ME3 multiplayer, I was on a great team: I was vanguard, and the two other dudes were like an engineer and an infiltrator. there was a fourth person, but they just did their own thing.
we stuck together and we were kicking ass, reviving each other and just generally being awesome, until we ran into a tricky wave. and so we fell, one by one. of course, we all died within ample range of the fourth person, who didn't lift a fat finger to help. this person then proceeded to clear the map (on wave 8 so there was a ton of enemies) using only a pistol and no powers for like 20 minutes. Once we all revived, we continued playing, but i have never wanted to friendly fire someone so bad.

revenge was sweet when the dirt bag died like 2 feet in front of our line and no one bothered reviving him.