Uwe Boll Wins Lifetime Achievement Award
- Thread starter Andy Chalk
- Start date
I knew that sounded familiar... too much TV Tropes for me. It's 'Why don't you shut up?', said by..., nah, I'll get the quote:Abedeus said:
King Juan Carlos of Spain's exchange with Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez at the 2007 Ibero-American Summit. After a speech in which Chavez called former Spanish PM Jose Maria Aznar a "fascist" for aiding the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Juan Carlos declared that to call a democratically-elected PM a fascist was an insult to those who had lived under Franco's regime and demanded an apology. When Chavez refused to apologize and continued speechifying about the alleged evils of Aznar's government, Juan Carlos interrupted him mid-sentence with "¿Por qué no te callas?" or "Why don't you shut up?" The declaration found great favor with the Spanish people and has even become a popular ringtone.
Also, that's pretty much what I want to say to Boll as well.
The king of Spain to president Hugo Chavez, when the second was attacking ex-president Aznard.Abedeus said:
I think Boll might just be on the cusp of... something. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's as though his otherworldly tenacity - and let's face it, few of us would have the dogged determination to not just ignore the mountains of criticism hurled at him but to actually persevere in the face of it - is allowing him to transcend the awfulness of his movies and become, dare I say it, respected.
I mean, there's no denying the man makes bad movies, but he's somehow managed to forge that into what appears to be a lucrative career. And he's responded to his critics, who generally have very valid points, with rage, heckling, insults, obscenities and outright violence, without ever once even hinting that maybe they might have a point. Uwe is true to himself to a degree most of us can only dream of, and he doesn't give a shit what you think.
I think I'm actually starting to admire the man.
I mean, there's no denying the man makes bad movies, but he's somehow managed to forge that into what appears to be a lucrative career. And he's responded to his critics, who generally have very valid points, with rage, heckling, insults, obscenities and outright violence, without ever once even hinting that maybe they might have a point. Uwe is true to himself to a degree most of us can only dream of, and he doesn't give a shit what you think.
I think I'm actually starting to admire the man.
Harsh? The truth is cold, Meado, very cold.Meado said:
Maybe if we take the truth and ice down Uwe's swelled head, he'll calm down, THEN he can die alone in a corner somewhere.
Who keeps paying this freakin' lunitic?! Seriously, is it one of you? This is getting stupid as Bush(Palin? Such a choice) now!
Dear Rich People,
You are not helping. If you continue on this obvious path of throwing away money, the monkeys will come for you, and even I will agree with their brutal tactics....Stupid monkeys! Thank you for taking time out of your busy Give-Bolle-All-Our-Monies meetings to read this.
Love,
Link Kadeshi
P.S.: Send excess money to me from now on, instead of German McDouchebag.
Dear Rich People,
You are not helping. If you continue on this obvious path of throwing away money, the monkeys will come for you, and even I will agree with their brutal tactics....Stupid monkeys! Thank you for taking time out of your busy Give-Bolle-All-Our-Monies meetings to read this.
Love,
Link Kadeshi
P.S.: Send excess money to me from now on, instead of German McDouchebag.
Back...
Just to elaborate on what I wrote before: Bloodrayne had it's faults but goddamn it was spanking fun to play. It had a special place in my heart. Dancing madly from one enemy to the other, dodging bullets with graceful cartwheels, deploying my impossibly high stilettos, dealing death with a marvelous array of weaponry, chunks of my foes flying in every direction and the oh so ecstatic satisfying of my need for sustenance and renewal by stealing such from my attackers whist using them as a shield! It all seemed so logical. Especially when those deserving a serve of my "justice" were evil Nazi zombies in an alternate universe. I repeat... Nazi zombies!!
I just knew with a sympathetic intelligent director that this would actually make a great film - sure it wasn't Oscar material but you get what I mean. It could be an exception to the dross of game to movie conversions. Tongue in cheek it would be a great laugh, bulk fun... if done right.
Lo and behold, I found it in a video store and took it home to watch in hopeful anticipation. What I saw was a cheap and nasty utter piece of crap. The actress whilst pretty was no lofty erotic Bloodreign, gone was the story, gone was the setting, gone were the signature moves, gone were the guns, and gone was the droll dialogue that would just make me laugh out loud in the midst of battle- "I think you might need ice on that" as an opponent's arm arced out of the frame in slow motion.
What I saw was a "you loved the game now I will exploit that in a shitty rip-off". I felt disgusted and insulted. But mostly fury. HairBall was no Paul Verhoeven, this was no Robocop-eske homage to a great video game character... this was worse than awful. This would tarnish the franchise.
To those thinking here is a tenacious Ed Woodian director/producer pulling himself up by his bootstaps... you are wrong. Boll is a fuckwit, exploiting a genre in a vainglorious attempt to make money (cable/rental/retail) and garner cult admiration.
I know the type, I worked for two years with a friend on the weekends- him camera, I sound- on another piece of pathetic tripe. The writer/director/lead-actor/producer (read: money) was another German with an even more absurd sounding name, just as deluded but arguably less charismatic. With dreams of Ed Wood's "Glenn or Glenda" we deluded ourselves that we would convince him at post that we should turn this into a comedy, with just enough length to class it as a feature. We worked hard, for no money, supplied all the equipment, we scrounged for leftover blank reel ends, conned good actors, makeup artists and other DOPs to donate their time- we hoped we could recoup something in said cable/rental/retail. It was a sci-fi, I was even set to do the opening CG sequences. We laughed ourselves silly at the rushes.
But horror (in the real sense of the word), he insisted on editing the thing- even though we had a respected expert 16mm editor willing to take on the task, for free. We woke up to ourselves, he was never going to see it as anything but a serious comment on humanities' inhumanity with himself as the hero. Endless closeups of himself in the first cut and endless boring, boring, boring. My girlfriend even fell asleep. *Sigh*
I'll never forget one day as a cavalcade of vehicles took off to that day's location. Volker, missing his prop, yelled from the back... "I forgot the brains!".
If you really want to choose a independent anti-establishment uber-talent to admire- choose Robert Rodriguez or maybe even Tarantino- not this self-aggrandizing buffoon who's public actions deserve the accolade only described exactly by the "C" word.
Just to elaborate on what I wrote before: Bloodrayne had it's faults but goddamn it was spanking fun to play. It had a special place in my heart. Dancing madly from one enemy to the other, dodging bullets with graceful cartwheels, deploying my impossibly high stilettos, dealing death with a marvelous array of weaponry, chunks of my foes flying in every direction and the oh so ecstatic satisfying of my need for sustenance and renewal by stealing such from my attackers whist using them as a shield! It all seemed so logical. Especially when those deserving a serve of my "justice" were evil Nazi zombies in an alternate universe. I repeat... Nazi zombies!!
I just knew with a sympathetic intelligent director that this would actually make a great film - sure it wasn't Oscar material but you get what I mean. It could be an exception to the dross of game to movie conversions. Tongue in cheek it would be a great laugh, bulk fun... if done right.
Lo and behold, I found it in a video store and took it home to watch in hopeful anticipation. What I saw was a cheap and nasty utter piece of crap. The actress whilst pretty was no lofty erotic Bloodreign, gone was the story, gone was the setting, gone were the signature moves, gone were the guns, and gone was the droll dialogue that would just make me laugh out loud in the midst of battle- "I think you might need ice on that" as an opponent's arm arced out of the frame in slow motion.
What I saw was a "you loved the game now I will exploit that in a shitty rip-off". I felt disgusted and insulted. But mostly fury. HairBall was no Paul Verhoeven, this was no Robocop-eske homage to a great video game character... this was worse than awful. This would tarnish the franchise.
To those thinking here is a tenacious Ed Woodian director/producer pulling himself up by his bootstaps... you are wrong. Boll is a fuckwit, exploiting a genre in a vainglorious attempt to make money (cable/rental/retail) and garner cult admiration.
I know the type, I worked for two years with a friend on the weekends- him camera, I sound- on another piece of pathetic tripe. The writer/director/lead-actor/producer (read: money) was another German with an even more absurd sounding name, just as deluded but arguably less charismatic. With dreams of Ed Wood's "Glenn or Glenda" we deluded ourselves that we would convince him at post that we should turn this into a comedy, with just enough length to class it as a feature. We worked hard, for no money, supplied all the equipment, we scrounged for leftover blank reel ends, conned good actors, makeup artists and other DOPs to donate their time- we hoped we could recoup something in said cable/rental/retail. It was a sci-fi, I was even set to do the opening CG sequences. We laughed ourselves silly at the rushes.
But horror (in the real sense of the word), he insisted on editing the thing- even though we had a respected expert 16mm editor willing to take on the task, for free. We woke up to ourselves, he was never going to see it as anything but a serious comment on humanities' inhumanity with himself as the hero. Endless closeups of himself in the first cut and endless boring, boring, boring. My girlfriend even fell asleep. *Sigh*
I'll never forget one day as a cavalcade of vehicles took off to that day's location. Volker, missing his prop, yelled from the back... "I forgot the brains!".
If you really want to choose a independent anti-establishment uber-talent to admire- choose Robert Rodriguez or maybe even Tarantino- not this self-aggrandizing buffoon who's public actions deserve the accolade only described exactly by the "C" word.
The point of the antichrist was to be so charismatic as to turn peoples hearts and minds to evil. Perhaps hes not quite that (the opposite I would think!), but when he descends to hell after his exorcism, he will be given a high ranking place in hell for all the souls he has corrupted.Zeromaxx said:
