Very Annoying...

[Kakashi on crack]

Well, this one shouldn't be a big shocker, but still...

Whole thing is I've known this girl for about a year and a half through high school choir, spanish, and musicals. In the last few months or so I've come to the conclusion that I've fallen in love with her.

Problem is... She has a boyfriend already. She doesn't talk about him much but I know she loves him.

I'm not asking for advice on what I should do. I'm not going to go encroaching on her life like that and say something because, frankly, that would be very selfish on my end, and it would be unfair for her if I pulled that crap.

Rather, I'm wondering if you peeps at the Escapist have any suggestions on how I might get over this recent bout of love sickness without removing her from my life...?

 

[JesterRaiin]

Rather, I'm wondering if you peeps at the Escapist have any suggestions on how I might get over this recent bout of love sickness without removing her from my life...?

You can't. It's impossible unless everyone agree to live in such weird triangle. Unfortunately, it's not very common thing. It's cruel, but such is life from time to time. Accepting it is part of growing up.

My suggestion : Either fight for her or let her go but don't try to maintain cowardly, selfish, hidden status quo. You're risking whole world of pain here and not only for yourself but for everyone involved.
You may want to fight for her, or at least express your feelings but remember, "it takes two to tango". If you're not sure about her feelings (and/or yours for that matter), better be careful.

Either way : good luck !

 

[TheBanMan_v1legacy]

I wouldn't go so far as can't. The onus is on you to not make things awkward for anyone involved.

Ask yourself seriously: Can you be happy having this girl in your life as only friends? If so, great. A deep and meaningful friendship is not something to toss away lightly.

That being said, it's a slippery slope, though. You don't want to make things awkward for her, or her beau. If you feel you can't keep it at a platonic level, it may be best to keep your distance and avoid any awkward situations.

I'll parrot the ending advice above mine: Good luck!

 

[renegade7]

It sucks man, but sometimes that's how life is. Take it from me. Once I was completely in love with a girl I knew from school for years. She had a boyfriend. Last year I finally confessed my feelings for her, and guess what, she left her boyfriend for me. So I thought everything was great: Until she did the exact same thing to me. Namely, leaving for the next more appealing guy.

Your options are, accept the freindzone, be just friends (the difference being that the friendzone is a place of rejection, whereas being friends is a choice to stop trying to push it further), or try to win her over...but if you pick the last option, be aware that if she would leave her boyfriend for you, she might just as well leave you for someone else.

 

[Angie7F]

I say, go find a hotter girl and you wont be bothered about her any more.

i know its not easy but putting yourself out there and paying attention to other people around you can open up so many more options and possibilities.


your feelings for her are the only thing getting in the way of this friendship, so go and divert hat feeling somewhere else and it should be fine, hypothetically.