Video game characters you'd kick downstairs

[IllumInaTIma]

Wasn't there a thread almost exactly like this? Something like "Characters whose death would make you glee"? No? Okay, whatever.

This fucker!
<spoiler=Linny from Front Mission 3><img src=http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-20/art/fm3-linny-face.jpg>
He is just so annoying and pointless that it feels like developers were short on time and had to fill 8th slot in your party. He really does feel pointless. He gets almost zero character development or backstory. After you finish the game you don't discover almost anything new about him! He's just pointless, annoying, bigheaded asshole!

 

[LawAndChaos]

Well, I'm feeling petty today, so I'm going to say Dark Pit. Fuck that guy.

"Princess Zelda called, She wants her Final Smash back."

This.

I could forgive him if he had a different final smash, but honestly that right there is what makes me wish he was gone.

Okey dokey, sooooo...

hated characters.
Let's get obscure!

All the NPCs in the Knight Chapter of Live-a-Live. This still applies in the final dungeon where you get to bump into them as the other characters.

Zelenin from Shin Megami Tensei:Strange Journey. I hate Mastema more, and I've let up on my hate for Zelenin because everything that happens to her is his fault, but the law side in general sucks.

Spoiler: seriously she looks like lady gaga or something

Since Far Cry 3 was mentioned, the main character Jason Brody deserves everything bad to happen to him in the jungle. And Citra too, for that matter. Jason is a tool. No, literally. He's a stupid narrative tool. That's about all he is.

Citra herself is a lunatic, I don't care about those tits, she's pretty much just pulling Jason's strings (and a few other things) and throwing him away once she doesn't need him anymore. Jason's friends were dicks, but they didn't deserve the shit they went through. Screw Citra, choose friendship.

Oh hey, and Tidus' VA apparently at one time edited his own wiki page to stoke his ego. Can't say for sure if that's true, just put it out there because it's what I heard.

As of late I've come to hate the sniper too, from TF2,
not because of the character himself (although he's not really as fun as the other characters are IMO)
mostly because of sniper oversaturation and his actual lack of presence in the game.
The bad ones camp out a spot and never move up or support the team, they suck at capturing objectives, and there's always too many of them. ALWAYS.

I'm sick of 'em.

 

[EHKOS]

*inhales deeply*
Not-Fun Shaundi from Saints Row 3&4, and the Boss from 4 as well. Along with the reason why I hate the Boss, because he is a douche, comes Dante from the DmC reboot and Miranda from ME2 (at the end where they all jump on the ship and were hanging out on the side, I could picture Shepard just turning and shooting her off and being like "Oh...gosh, that's a darn shame. Miranda didn't survive the suicide mission. Golly guys, can you believe it. That suuucks. >.>)

Also Jason Brody because he's whiny and can't survive simple falls.

I can't remember the game or character, but I remember yelling "No, go away. Leave me alone I can handle this on my ow-" and then the fucker activates a trap. I do hate those characters, I'm sure there are a number of incompetent twits I'm forgetting about.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Princess Peach. Just to see where things go from there.

Son thou didnst do that. Pistols at dawn. Your choice of terrain. I do like a gentlemanly duel once in a while. I shall see thee on the field with my second.

I mean it! I don't hate her or anything, I just wanna see what happens when you open up a Mario game with Peach breaking her neck.

 

[Haerthan]

Princess Peach. Just to see where things go from there.

Son thou didnst do that. Pistols at dawn. Your choice of terrain. I do like a gentlemanly duel once in a while. I shall see thee on the field with my second.

I mean it! I don't hate her or anything, I just wanna see what happens when you open up a Mario game with Peach breaking her neck.

Dude I was joking. I wont actually duel you for it. And well if she breaks her neck then the game is over. Cause why should Mario fight Bowser if the prize is dead? Also dont worry will never happy. Nintendo wouldnt do that, it would kill of an entire franchise more or less. But I would pay money to see a subversion of all the tropes coming from Nintendo

 

[Infernai]

SNIP

I'm disappointed in you. Very disappointed.

You mention the likes of Tidus, Lightning and even Hope...yet you left one out.

The useless one.

The pointless one.

The one that, if taken from the game, would change little to nothing on the overall plot:

Spoiler

VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Seriously, fuck that guy.


Another one to add to the list is Nowe. Aka. this fuck-up right here:

Spoiler

Anyone that's played Drakengard 2 knows why he inspires contempt.

But For those that don't?

Imagine a JRPG protagonist so bland, so by the numbers, so utterly dull that the only thing that the developers did to make him stand out was make him an easily manipulated fucking moron. He knows NOTHING about even the most basic, fundamental parts of his own setting...hell, he doesn't even fucking know what his job entails when starting off despite TRAINING FOR IT FOR YEARS! Nearly Every. Single. Terrible. Thing that happens in this game is a result of him being a moron (Aside from an earlier assassination attempt by the main villain). The kid causes the end of the freaking world and doesn't even get jail time for it!

But you know what, if this was a comedy game or deconstruction (Like Drakengard 1) or something I'd be able to accept it. But it's not, the whole thing was made with the idea of Nowe being the hero and it being played off seriously.

Now, this is also a problem because we in the last game had a protagonist (Caim) that had clear motivations (MURDER! ...Oh and saving my sister...BUT MOSTLY MURDER! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! FUCK THE WORLD!) and was just a downright huge breath of fresh air compared to other protagonists. The worst part? He's in this game as a villain and he's still a more capable protagonist then Nowe is!

...So yeah, Nowe sucks.

 

[aozgolo]

Well I guess I got some work to do, better shine my boots, here goes:


Vaan and Penelo from FFXII most definitely, they took the spotlight away from the other four (well three and a half, Fran is just kinda there) characters who the story was really about. Ashe, Basch, and Balthier have amazing stories and really shine but for some inane reason Sqaure Enix didn't feel any of them capable of holding the Main Character mantle and literally shoe-horned in this lil punk and his boring side-kick to try and draw in... the kind of people I'd want to kick down stairs in real life.

"Hey'a!" - Quote from Noober in Baldur's Gate... just DIIIIE!

Lamar Davis from GTA V - I was rather disappointed we didn't get to off this dude at some point, he's literally like the only thing holding Franklin back from leaving his gangbanger lifestyle behind, but I guess Rockstar felt that killing him would be a little too similar to the San Andreas plotline.

Prince Charmles from Dragon Quest VIII - Admittedly even the game knows he's an annoying worthless sack of potatoes.

 

[Casual Shinji]

While every character in GTA5, apart from Franklin, is a ghastly shitheel, Michael's family takes the cake. Specifically is son and daughter, those two need to eat shit and die so bad.

 

[somersetsaxon]

Ben, the organiser of the Horizon festival in Forza Horizon 2.

I might be showing my age here as a 28 year old OAP apparently, but I find his enthusiasm for his stupid festival grating, granted he is permitted to be excited about his own creation and I'm permitted to find this annoying.

This is the first grievance. The deal breaker comes after the first showcase event, where he casually gives you a very expensive car with the phrase "You can keep the car, mate." Firstly, I'm not your mate, and secondly, the smell of smug self satisfaction rendered me briefly unconscious.

For these crimes, I condemn him to be kicked down the stairs.

The mechanic, Ashley, deserves a mention, but because she doesn't not have an outstanding incident likely to induce incredible annoyance and is just mildly annoying throughout, she receives a stay of being kicked down the stairs.

 

[K-lusive]

Since Far Cry 3 was mentioned, the main character Jason Brody deserves everything bad to happen to him in the jungle. And Citra too, for that matter. Jason is a tool. No, literally. He's a stupid narrative tool. That's about all he is.

Citra herself is a lunatic, I don't care about those tits, she's pretty much just pulling Jason's strings (and a few other things) and throwing him away once she doesn't need him anymore. Jason's friends were dicks, but they didn't deserve the shit they went through. Screw Citra, choose friendship.

Spoiler

Technically, screwing Citra and choosing friendship are mutually exclusive...

 

[happyninja42]

Your FF 13 hate. Clipped for space

Oh man, I enjoyed those so much. If you haven't seen it yet, definitely go check out The Spoony Experiment's review of Final Fantasy 13. I think you will find it gleefully enjoyable if this is how you feel about these characters. xD

 

[sageoftruth]

Since Far Cry 3 was mentioned, the main character Jason Brody deserves everything bad to happen to him in the jungle. And Citra too, for that matter. Jason is a tool. No, literally. He's a stupid narrative tool. That's about all he is.

Citra herself is a lunatic, I don't care about those tits, she's pretty much just pulling Jason's strings (and a few other things) and throwing him away once she doesn't need him anymore. Jason's friends were dicks, but they didn't deserve the shit they went through. Screw Citra, choose friendship.

Spoiler

Technically, screwing Citra and choosing friendship are mutually exclusive...

Ba dum chhh! Nice one.

 

[the December King]

I'm gonna go with that barmaid in Skyrim, Delphine, who was actually some sort of assassin/super thief or something- a Blade, If I remember correctly. I mean, I like not being the only one doing things in a game world, it makes the place feel alive. But wasting my time by ruining one of my quests, just to derail me, order me around and brag about how you could kill me easily... I pummeled her head into her ribcage as soon as that dragon she wanted me to kill was defeated, and I'll be honest, I only went that far along with her because I assumed I had no choice. I might even have borfed the main timeline, I dunno- I stopped following the plot at around that time to just run around and have fun, and haven't been back to that quest since.

I mean, I appreciate what was being set up, to some extent- showing me I'm a little fish in a big pond, there are other parties involved, etc. And, if I had been playing what I considered a more cerebral character, I would have rolled with it, and accepted my role as not really fully understanding the politics at work behind the scenes just yet. But as a giant, bloodthirsty barbarian Argonian wielding a war-hammer? It was all the attitude that some of the NPCs in that game spout, you just want to smash them... and so, when given the chance? Not gonna shrug it off, say thankee. Besides, I get enough of being thwarted and outdone by people in real life!

 

[Johnny Thunder]

Every character from Far Cry 3 & 4 that tries too hard to be cool and original and every character from every Naughty Dog game.

 

[aozgolo]

Princess Peach. Just to see where things go from there.

I would interject my opinion here, but I may be overly biased in this regard

<---(see avatar)

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Probably Vaas from Far Cry 3, oddly enough. Jeffrey Yohalem was *this* close to putting a compelling picture of mental distress together and he frequently comes really, really, really close to selling that thanks to Michael Mando's performance, but it's like Ubisoft thought its target audience would think a decent effort would be too high-brow. The end result is a bundle of brilliant flashes mired in Cloudcuckoolander nonsense and fast-talking sex slurs.

To be fair, I'd kick Vaas Montenegro down a flight of stairs because he was *this* close to being absolutely fucking awesome. That inability of his to make the cut frustrates me and motivates me to give the Awesome Bastard Award to Handsome Jack, circa Borderlands 2.

 

[PinkiePyro]

I would like to kick Ghetsis down stairs that have legos glued to them its one thing to be evil its another thing to be evil while lying about being evil and abusing your own son in the process

I would also like to kick various skyrim NPCS for being racist dicks but I already murdered them all :3

 

[VoidOfOne]

Loghain Mac Tir (Dragon Age: Origins) What a git, and a douche. In all my playtbroughs I never let him live.

Never.

 

[sageoftruth]

I would like to kick Ghetsis down stairs that have legos glued to them its one thing to be evil its another thing to be evil while lying about being evil and abusing your own son in the process

I would also like to kick various skyrim NPCS for being racist dicks but I already murdered them all :3

On the subject of Skyrim NPC, I'd happily throw Delphine down a flight. She's pretty much a jerk to you and everyone else from the moment she reveals that she's one of the Blades, and after Skyrim's only good dragon enables you to save Skyrim from the dragons, she asks you to kill him because he's a dragon. To Oblivion with her.