Wanting to change.

[PurpleLeafRave]

I need some advice guys. I know someone who's just perfect, she's beautiful and awesome and is loved by everyone. Lately she's been getting upset and saying she needs to change. For a start I have no idea what she means, and I also have no idea what to say to make her feel better. I know how lovely she is and so does everyone else, but she doesn't seem to think so.
Any advice on how to make her feel better would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[PurpleLeafRave]

Oh and if anyone could move this to the advice forum it would be appreciated too.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

First of all, she's not perfect. Nobody is. In fact, the reason people like her tend to get down because they think they're not good enough is because everyone just tells them they're perfect when they no they're not and that raises their expectations of themselves, which makes the few faults they see in themselves look like abject failures. But just because she's not'perfect' doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with her either.

So the next time she tells you she isn't perfect, just tell her "You're right, you're not, you're human. but that doesn't mean you're not beautiful, it doesn't mean you're not an amazing person to be around, and it most certainly doesn't mean I'd want you any other way."

 

[PurpleLeafRave]

First of all, she's not perfect. Nobody is. In fact, the reason people like her tend to get down because they think they're not good enough is because everyone just tells them they're perfect when they no they're not and that raises their expectations of themselves, which makes the few faults they see in themselves look like abject failures. But just because she's not'perfect' doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with her either.

So the next time she tells you she isn't perfect, just tell her "You're right, you're not, you're human. but that doesn't mean you're not beautiful, it doesn't mean you're not an amazing person to be around, and it most certainly doesn't mean I'd want you any other way."

Thank you, this is just what I need. I'll make sure I let her know.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

First of all, she's not perfect. Nobody is. In fact, the reason people like her tend to get down because they think they're not good enough is because everyone just tells them they're perfect when they no they're not and that raises their expectations of themselves, which makes the few faults they see in themselves look like abject failures. But just because she's not'perfect' doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with her either.

So the next time she tells you she isn't perfect, just tell her "You're right, you're not, you're human. but that doesn't mean you're not beautiful, it doesn't mean you're not an amazing person to be around, and it most certainly doesn't mean I'd want you any other way."

Thank you, this is just what I need. I'll make sure I let her know.

Don't mention it Sorry if I sounded a little harsh, I didn't mean to. It's just that if you're going to give people advice you might as well give it to them straight.

 

[ddrfr33k]

I need some advice guys. I know someone who's just perfect, she's beautiful and awesome and is loved by everyone. Lately she's been getting upset and saying she needs to change. For a start I have no idea what she means, and I also have no idea what to say to make her feel better. I know how lovely she is and so does everyone else, but she doesn't seem to think so.
Any advice on how to make her feel better would be appreciated. Thanks.

Another thing you could do is ask her, "what can I do to help?" If my hunches are correct, she'll likely refuse help initially. My gf did the same thing, saying she didn't want to burden me with her troubles. She may also have issues with self-confidence that would hamper her desire to seek assistance.

In reality, this is the best possible thing you can do for her. Support her, even if she doesn't want it.