WASP!

[snowman6251]

I just walk out of the room and let my dad handle it. My dad is like the but Terminator. Or I'd tell my sister and we would tactfully crush it with the heaviest books we find.

Funny typo is funny.

Implies hilarious things.

 

[interspark]

If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast.

*gasp*! youre right! hey heres a crazy idea, how about NOT ATTACKING?!?! in case you havent noticed, they arent 1% your body size so if youre sitting around ignoring it then, from its point of view, stinging you would be a pretty bad move now wouldnt it? ive had wasps sit on my hand while im eating and i havent flinched and you know where it got me? "not being stung" is where!
(and what the hell have moths ever done to you?)

 

[interspark]

I just walk out of the room and let my dad handle it. My dad is like the but Terminator. Or I'd tell my sister and we would tactfully crush it with the heaviest books we find.

Funny typo is funny.

Implies hilarious things.

going to the toilet will never be the same again...

 

[snowman6251]

If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast.

*gasp*! youre right! hey heres a crazy idea, how about NOT ATTACKING?!?! in case you havent noticed, they arent 1% your body size so if youre sitting around ignoring it then, from its point of view, stinging you would be a pretty bad move now wouldnt it? ive had wasps sit on my hand while im eating and i havent flinched and you know where it got me? "not being stung" is where!
(and what the hell have moths ever done to you?)

Moths do several evil things. They eat your clothes. They land on me when I'm playing video games breaking my concentration. They fly in my line of sight and distract me (even worse when landing on my screen) and there are shitloads of them in my room.

 

[Fursnake]

I am always at war with wasps, where I live wasps are quite numerous and they try to build nests all over my house and property. They build nests in the roof overhang, our covered eavetroughs, in the doghouses, in the outside deck light fixtures, under the deck, n the cover to the propane tank, in the garage etc. I zerg wasps straight up; I am always taking the fight to them and never let them get a chance to mount an offensive If they do not end up fleeing from me they end up dead. If I have no weapon on hand I improvise like Jackie Chan and make use of the nearest available object be it a magazine, a broom, a belt, a pair of pants, a cup, a flashlight, a pillow, a remote, plunger, toilet cleaner, a shoe, the vaccum or a towel. I am quite skilled at towel snapping the little bastards out of the air. My favorite wasp encounter though was when they attacked me while I was vaccuming a nest out of an exterior light fixture. Something in the numbers of a small squad of wasps ended up angrily buzzing at me while trapped in the vaccum canister where I left them to die.

Good times.

Wasps are #3 on my list of "insects I would make extinct if I had three wishes.

1. Mosquitos
2. Fleas
3. Wasps

 

[interspark]

If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast.

*gasp*! youre right! hey heres a crazy idea, how about NOT ATTACKING?!?! in case you havent noticed, they arent 1% your body size so if youre sitting around ignoring it then, from its point of view, stinging you would be a pretty bad move now wouldnt it? ive had wasps sit on my hand while im eating and i havent flinched and you know where it got me? "not being stung" is where!
(and what the hell have moths ever done to you?)

Moths do several evil things. They eat your clothes. They land on me when I'm playing video games breaking my concentration. They fly in my line of sight and distract me (even worse when landing on my screen) and there are shitloads of them in my room.

there are shitloads of humans on earth who do a hell of a lot more than break concentration but you wouldnt grab a machine gun and kill a bunch of them now would you? (killing is wrong regardless of species)

 

[snowman6251]

If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast.

*gasp*! youre right! hey heres a crazy idea, how about NOT ATTACKING?!?! in case you havent noticed, they arent 1% your body size so if youre sitting around ignoring it then, from its point of view, stinging you would be a pretty bad move now wouldnt it? ive had wasps sit on my hand while im eating and i havent flinched and you know where it got me? "not being stung" is where!
(and what the hell have moths ever done to you?)

Moths do several evil things. They eat your clothes. They land on me when I'm playing video games breaking my concentration. They fly in my line of sight and distract me (even worse when landing on my screen) and there are shitloads of them in my room.

there are shitloads of humans on earth who do a hell of a lot more than break concentration but you wouldnt grab a machine gun and kill a bunch of them now would you? (killing is wrong regardless of species)

They're not sneaking into my bedroom and harassing me in my home. If hundreds of people crawled through my windows mesmerized by my light I wouldn't take too kindly to them either. Hell I might even hit them with my flyswatter.

 

[interspark]

there are shitloads of humans on earth who do a hell of a lot more than break concentration but you wouldnt grab a machine gun and kill a bunch of them now would you? (killing is wrong regardless of species)

They're not sneaking into my bedroom and harassing me in my home. If hundreds of people crawled through my windows mesmerized by my light I wouldn't take too kindly to them either. Hell I might even hit them with my flyswatter.

fair point i guess, but the point still stands that you wouldnt KILL them

 

[C95J]

A wasp entered my room. After a series of tactical retreats I managed to gain an opportunity to strike. The resilient little bastard took multiple hits to kill. The first one crippled his flight ability but he continued to move several hits after.

It was a tough battle. I was hoping to to get it to fly out of my room and then let someone else deal with it but he finally made a mistake in landing on a flat surface facing away from me. I struck with a shoe and proceeded to attack until I had a confirmed overkill. I then got enough toilet paper to pick it up without any chance of getting stung through it and flushed his corpse. I fear this is only the beginning. My home is no longer safe.

My friend was video chatting with me at the time and he was just laughing it up as I was screaming "FATALITY" and "FINISH HIM" at the weakened wasp. He was also laughing at my tactical retreats. Wasps are dangerous foes. If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast. I made sure only to strike when he was unaware and then I blitzkrieged his ass.

Anyway how do you guys deal with wasps? I have tons of bugs in my room (mostly moths) and they can be dealt with by simply using a flyswatter but the wasp is a whole different story.

That was simply, the best story I have ever read.






EVER.

 

[C95J]

If you attack and fail to successfully kill them then you've only enraged the beast.

*gasp*! youre right! hey heres a crazy idea, how about NOT ATTACKING?!?! in case you havent noticed, they arent 1% your body size so if youre sitting around ignoring it then, from its point of view, stinging you would be a pretty bad move now wouldnt it? ive had wasps sit on my hand while im eating and i havent flinched and you know where it got me? "not being stung" is where!
(and what the hell have moths ever done to you?)

Moths do several evil things. They eat your clothes. They land on me when I'm playing video games breaking my concentration. They fly in my line of sight and distract me (even worse when landing on my screen) and there are shitloads of them in my room.

there are shitloads of humans on earth who do a hell of a lot more than break concentration but you wouldnt grab a machine gun and kill a bunch of them now would you? (killing is wrong regardless of species)

They're not sneaking into my bedroom and harassing me in my home. If hundreds of people crawled through my windows mesmerized by my light I wouldn't take too kindly to them either. Hell I might even hit them with my flyswatter.

for gods sake everyone chill, its only a wasp.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I just walk out of the room and let my dad handle it. My dad is like the but Terminator. Or I'd tell my sister and we would tactfully crush it with the heaviest books we find.

Funny typo is funny.

Implies hilarious things.

Indeed it does.

Im deathly scared of the things, been stung at least 20 times, once by a rather large hornet, not for me. I wave the heaviest object i can find at them till they fly outside then slam alll the windows.

I never kill bee's I always just leave them to find their way out. However boths wasps abd flies feel the wrath of the almighty Fly Killer spray! Although, if spraying a wasp make sure its a direct hit and a one hit kill... otherwise those bastards might try and get revenge before their slow and painful death. HA! >

I thought you would ya know... trap them? Maybe just me...

 

[Sentox6]

This story gets about a bajillion times funnier if you substitute wasp for the acronym White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

This was my first thought upon seeing the title, I must say.

 

[Superior Jet]

I feel that it's necessary to say: SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!!!
Yep, I was about to write up this post and... what's that noise?

OH SNAP, WASP!!!

I sprayed it, it died end of story.
Well, cutting out the part with the standing around for ten minuets wondering where the hell it's at.

 

[superbatranger]

I don't think there are a lot of wasps where I live. The few times I've ran into one, I just leave it alone.

 

[Terminate421]

I shoot it with my Airsoft gun. 99% of the time it works. (So far, only one managed to get away)

 

[eljawa]

how do I deal with White Anglo Saxon Protestants?

err...I fit all but one of those categories, but I guess I ignore anyone who is proud to be a WASP

 

[Sentox6]

They're not sneaking into my bedroom and harassing me in my home. If hundreds of people crawled through my windows mesmerized by my light I wouldn't take too kindly to them either. Hell I might even hit them with my flyswatter.

fair point i guess, but the point still stands that you wouldnt KILL them

You seem fairly certain about that. I will just say that I know a few people whose windows you should not climb through.

Anyway, I don't see how the life of a bee should hold equal value to that of a human. Even for practical reasons; countless insects are slaughtered on the visor of my helmet every day. I couldn't afford to get too cut up about that.

 

[Hawk of Battle]

I had an epic battle with a FUCKING MASSIVE HO-SHIT! spider a few months back. I named it Ungoliant, after the queen of all spiders from the Silmarillion. We fought each other 3 times in the course of a week. The first time it appeared in my room, and I attempted to strike it down, but the beast retreated behind a bookshelf. After careful maneouvering I was able to expose my foe and attacked with a rolled up magazine. Unfortunately the strike was not aimed true and Ungoliant survived, falling behind my bed. Unable to locate the abonination, I was forced to sleep with it un-conquered.

Then several days later we encountered each other again, this time in the bathroom. Ungoliant was on the floor, and I was unnarmed. I withdrew, knowing that any attempt to strike down my enemy would result in further scurrying and HO-SHITness.


Then later, I discovered the spider blocking my path into the living room. I was all alone in the house at the time, and desperately required passage to gain access to precious food stores. I was forced to attempt long range shoe based bombardment. After 2 attempts I finally struck true and severed one of the legs of my mortal enemy, who quickly retreated beneath the setee. I never saw Ungoliant again. I can only assume I was victorious...

 

[snowman6251]

I had an epic battle with a FUCKING MASSIVE HO-SHIT! spider a few months back. I named it Ungoliant, after the queen of all spiders from the Silmarillion. We fought each other 3 times in the course of a week. The first time it appeared in my room, and I attempted to strike it down, but the beast retreated behind a bookshelf. After careful maneouvering I was able to expose my foe and attacked with a rolled up magazine. Unfortunately the strike was not aimed true and Ungoliant survived, falling behind my bed. Unable to locate the abonination, I was forced to sleep with it un-conquered.

Then several days later we encountered each other again, this time in the bathroom. Ungoliant was on the floor, and I was unnarmed. I withdrew, knowing that any attempt to strike down my enemy would result in further scurrying and HO-SHITness.


Then later, I discovered the spider blocking my path into the living room. I was all alone in the house at the time, and desperately required passage to gain access to precious food stores. I was forced to attempt long range shoe based bombardment. After 2 attempts I finally struck true and severed one of the legs of my mortal enemy, who quickly retreated beneath the setee. I never saw Ungoliant again. I can only assume I was victorious...

This man. He understands. The use of military terminology when describing an encounter with an insect is a surefire way to be completely awesome.

 

[Fursnake]

I had an epic battle with a FUCKING MASSIVE HO-SHIT! spider a few months back. I named it Ungoliant, after the queen of all spiders from the Silmarillion. We fought each other 3 times in the course of a week. The first time it appeared in my room, and I attempted to strike it down, but the beast retreated behind a bookshelf. After careful maneouvering I was able to expose my foe and attacked with a rolled up magazine. Unfortunately the strike was not aimed true and Ungoliant survived, falling behind my bed. Unable to locate the abonination, I was forced to sleep with it un-conquered.

Then several days later we encountered each other again, this time in the bathroom. Ungoliant was on the floor, and I was unnarmed. I withdrew, knowing that any attempt to strike down my enemy would result in further scurrying and HO-SHITness.


Then later, I discovered the spider blocking my path into the living room. I was all alone in the house at the time, and desperately required passage to gain access to precious food stores. I was forced to attempt long range shoe based bombardment. After 2 attempts I finally struck true and severed one of the legs of my mortal enemy, who quickly retreated beneath the setee. I never saw Ungoliant again. I can only assume I was victorious...

Ungoliant is looking for a mate right this moment and going to breed a whole brood behind your refrigerator.