"It's just... You're smart. Beautiful. Capable. Whenever I got into a jam, or thought I was going to die, you were there, bailing me out, willing to do anything to save me, keep me going, keep caring for me. If I didn't know you cared for Jessica, and the last 5 years of my life hadn't happened, I'd be all over you." Lyra flew the ship past a seige ship, flitting between the prongs that made up its tuner, before sliding past it. "I just. Fuck, you know? I don't know what the hell to do. I don't know what I'm wanted for. I don't know what you want from me, or what anybody does. I keep looking at these people I lead, and I wonder if what I'm doing is right, or would make Dancing blade happy, or proud, and I just don't know. I have no fucking clue. First time I actually talked to somebody outside my family I was 16, and that was a coroner to make sure they knew my first father committed suicide, and I difn't kill him. I barely knew how to talk to people, and ten years later people are expecting all this shit I didn't understand in the barest bit, and I still need to provide it." Lyra looked out the window at the darting dagger and burst into tears, shutting down the engines and letting the ship drift.