Weird Science

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Given that no-one ever explains how the Aperture Science Portal Gun works...

Can you invent a semi-plausible reason for something bizzare to work scientifically?

E.G. To create invisibility: It's known that a Faraday cage [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faraday_cage] will protect you from lightning, so building a Faraday cage that works on light instead of electricity would render you invisible.

So...what can you come up with?

 

[Birras]

The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device functions by linking a miniature flux capacitor to blobs of blueberry jelly and marmalade, then shooting them out at eighty-eight miles per hour, causing them to send you to an alternate time line in which you are over there and a cube is falling forever.

 

[LewsTherin]

It runs on cake. The untruths propagated causes reality to flux, allowing the manipulation of a space to believe it is another space, causing a portal.

 

[Copter400]

The TARDIS, know matter what anyone else says, is a highly advanced version of the Aperture Science Portal Device. While the A.S.P.D. runs on preserves and social untruths, the TARDIS uses telephones and warps reality with that 'whoosh, whoosh' noise.

 

[shatnershaman]

The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device works on "MAGIC" or Master At Giving Imaginary Cake and then harnessing the users endorphins from the imaginary cake for energy

 

[Copter400]

That would work in theory, but the user would eventually become more disillusioned with the promise of cake, which would lower the endorphin levels which would reduce the effeciency of the portals. And yet through all the tests, the gun remains in ship-shape.

What do you say to that, Shatner Shaman, IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Personally I always thought the Aperture Science device just channeled The Escapist for all the tangents it went off at, but then herrings are a tasty fish.

 

[Knight Templar]

Given that atoms never really touch if you make a magnetic coil that moves small particles fast enough they could go through everything but tistroy the item in the prosess. Bingo ray gun.
Or hand held black hole machine.





Not very good but hey it's just a start.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Given that atoms never really touch if you make a magnetic coil that moves small particles fast enough they could go through everything but tistroy the item in the prosess. Bingo ray gun.
Or hand held black hole machine.
Not very good but hey it's just a start.

I think they're already trying that in Switzerland, you just need very big hands.

I did have designs for taser grenade somewhere...just have to find someway stopping the fragments from the shell.

Basically you fill the inside with a low temperature gas with a low permittivity and have a capacitor within. On explosion, the gas fills the area and the capacitor discharges using the Faraday cage effect, and as the temperature reverts to normal, the remaining charge cloud conducts through the body of anyone within.

I have a lot of time to think on these things...

 

[Anarchemitis]

The blobs it shoots could be small ionized stringlets going to a programmed extent of decay, limiting the affected area of a target in the shape of an oval as a unit of strange matter (portal 1), being so unstable, it forms a wormhole via it's depletion of the Higgs boson to an opening of the same tau frequency (portal 2).
[HEADING=1]It's just so simple [/HEADING]

 

[the monopoly guy]

The blobs it shoots could be small ionized stringlets going to a programmed extent of decay, limiting the affected area of a target in the shape of an oval as a unit of strange matter (portal 1), being so unstable, it forms a wormhole via it's depletion of the Higgs boson to an opening of the same tau frequency (portal 2).
[HEADING=1]It's just so simple [/HEADING]

I was going to say it was a witch, but, you know that works too.


Can we burn it anyway?

 

[OverlordSteve]

The Apeture Science Handheld Portal device runs on ignorance. The less you try to figure out how it works, the more effective the portals are.

 

[Birras]

The Apeture Science Handheld Portal device runs on ignorance. The less you try to figure out how it works, the more effective the portals are.

*picks up portal gun* So what would happen if I were to deny it's existence all together? *portal gun turns into the Stargate*

 

[Copter400]

Just an idea: would it be possible to make the crossbow from HL2?

It fires rebar that is super-heated by a little battery built into the crossbow. Could we make something like that in real life?

 

[Birras]

I don't see why not, it wouldn't be practical, but hell, a lot of cool stuff isn't

 

[Birras]

I can just imagine one of those bolts failing to fire properly, falling into the firer's hand and sealing itself onto the skin. Ouch.

That's why you wear an ABD suit.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Does such a laser sight exist in real life as the targeting system for Half-Life's RPG?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Does such a laser sight exist in real life as the targeting system for Half-Life's RPG?

I believe so...Will check

And I love the soloution for the crossbow...but there must be a way of doing it...Cesium tip perhaps?

 

[cheatking]

You're all wrong. You see the portal gun is just a normal rocket launcher that makes perfect circle explosions. The 'teleporting' is acctualy a team of forty thousand interior decorators who builds new rooms for you to walk into. No science, no magic, no mini improbability drive. Just a DIY SOS prank.

 

[Anarchemitis]

I'm sure that a more practical (see Scientifically Laughable) improbability device of enhancing the chances that a wormhole would be generated out of the infinitesimal chance that the protons in the surface in question would collapse into a black hole.

Just like a death-ray that leaves no evidence of your murders, by enhancing the chance that the particles in your body suffer a total existence failure.
Link [http://beasttoast.com/f31/total-existence-failure-no-theories-exist-until-now-4665/] to Total Existence Failure.
Link [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams] to Scientific Probability Enhancement

Seeing as I won this thread, lets talk about the weird science of Telephone Books.