Weirdest Conversation?
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My friends and I tried to figure out whether or not lesbian vampires would enjoy the taste of menstrual blood. Apparently, they thought I would be an expert on this. I don't think we ever reached a definitive consensus.
A conversation with a teacher during sport...
T(eacher)- "Are zebras and tables the same thing?"
M(e)- "What makes you think that?"
T- "Well, they both have four legs, and you can put things on them."
M- "Well then, sure why not?"
T- "AH-HA, but the purposes of the objects are different! The purpose of the table is to have things put on it!"
M- "What's the purpose of the zebra?"
T- "To be a zebra!"
M- "Ah-ha"
*silence*
T(eacher)- "Are zebras and tables the same thing?"
M(e)- "What makes you think that?"
T- "Well, they both have four legs, and you can put things on them."
M- "Well then, sure why not?"
T- "AH-HA, but the purposes of the objects are different! The purpose of the table is to have things put on it!"
M- "What's the purpose of the zebra?"
T- "To be a zebra!"
M- "Ah-ha"
*silence*
I had one with a friend who said that chetas drop dead after they miss their pray 3 times at high speed, and then spent 1 hour debating that.
Yesterday(Which was a Monday) I was in a science class when a girl asked the teacher:
"Do we have homework today?"
Teacher-Yes,we have homework every Monday
Girl-Oh good thing its not Monday.
At first,I thought she was joking but when the teacher handed the homework out,the girl then went into a ten minute rant about how it wasnt Monday and she shouldnt get homework...I was confused.
"Do we have homework today?"
Teacher-Yes,we have homework every Monday
Girl-Oh good thing its not Monday.
At first,I thought she was joking but when the teacher handed the homework out,the girl then went into a ten minute rant about how it wasnt Monday and she shouldnt get homework...I was confused.
I pride myself on how quickly I can turn a conversation awkward/disturbing/confusing.
It's my way of saying "I don't really want to talk with anyone, but I'm not rude enough to tell you to fuck off."
Of course, there are times when I just talk about weird stuff because I feel like it. But nobody would ever be able to tell the difference.
Yeah. I'm a special kind of antisocial jerk.
Even I can't tell if I'm being awkward on purpose or not.
It's my way of saying "I don't really want to talk with anyone, but I'm not rude enough to tell you to fuck off."
Of course, there are times when I just talk about weird stuff because I feel like it. But nobody would ever be able to tell the difference.
Yeah. I'm a special kind of antisocial jerk.
Even I can't tell if I'm being awkward on purpose or not.
drunken conversation between me an a few mates we thought that whales were gonna fap to create huge waves and kill us all
i have a friend, he often came out with statements that caused a lot of "WTF!?!?"
he once declared that if he had a sister, A SISTER, that looked like Rachel Stevens he would do her. He's also at one time said "that chimp is a pretty sexy monkey".
he once declared that if he had a sister, A SISTER, that looked like Rachel Stevens he would do her. He's also at one time said "that chimp is a pretty sexy monkey".
One of the weirdest ones I can remember was when I was sitting in a tent with a total stranger at some festival whilst debating why Bachelors Super Noodles are called Bachelors. We came to the conclusion that they are eaten primarily by lonely men and that they don't fill you up. This means that a bachelor might cook some before he goes out on the pull, they don't fill him up and so he cooks some more. This continues until the small hours of the morning. In the end, we decided that they should be called Lonely Bastard Noodles because if you're single you'll spend all of your time cooking them instead of meeting women.
We then started talking about why chicken doesn't have a name for when it's cooked. Cow = Beef. Chicken = Chicken?
EDIT: Another good one I had was with a friend of mine. I was talking about a clairvoyant homosexual t-rex and he was talking about refugees on hoverbikes. That went on for a good half an hour before either of us noticed what was happening.
We then started talking about why chicken doesn't have a name for when it's cooked. Cow = Beef. Chicken = Chicken?
EDIT: Another good one I had was with a friend of mine. I was talking about a clairvoyant homosexual t-rex and he was talking about refugees on hoverbikes. That went on for a good half an hour before either of us noticed what was happening.
Beef = Roast Beef! We had this debate and it was conclusive that you can't get away with just putting the word roast in front of everything.Lukeje said:
Me and my friends once had a conversation about our health teacher, a purple elephant and chocolate flavoured condoms. We can no longer look at the teacher the same way again.
i was talking to my mates dad about his sex life for 45 minutes just to gross my mate out ..........
beef actually comes from the french word for cow... so it didnt really have a word, just got mangled by english peseants after william the conquerer invaded and beef became the posh word for cooked cowLukeje said:
Yeah, I have conversations like that with one of my friends quite frequently...TheNumber1Zero said:
"flepehpeh?" "flehfleh?" "oh flehp flehp" *friend neighs like a horse*
...yeah.
Any conversation on the phone with my sister. Like all other women, she likes to call people without actually having anything to say. I'm sure it works for her, and keeps her friends close, but I can't do small talk to save my life. I just.. can't.
All of the conversations include about a minute's segment of her repeating "oh well!", and basicly just making noises come out of her mouth, so that my silence wouldn't be so uncomfortable.
All of the conversations include about a minute's segment of her repeating "oh well!", and basicly just making noises come out of her mouth, so that my silence wouldn't be so uncomfortable.
So i work as a videoconferencing technician for a medical school. I'm the technician on a satellite campus of the school... The majority of the classes are videoconferenced in from the main campus to the students, so i spend the majority of my day sitting in a control room at the back of the class...
My room has become a bit of a refuge for people who are looking to kill some time in their day, so there's me, the janitor and the student liaison officer...All males.. Sitting in the back staring at a small screen with the feed of the class... The class is on a 20 minute break... A really cute young female doctor comes on screen and is just sitting at the front, talking to random students and doctors that walk up.... And for some reason the 3 of us just started mimicking the conversations that we thought might be going on (there was no actual audio..) The janitor did the voice of the woman, and the liaison officer and i took turns with the various males that approached her...
"So, do you doctor around here much?"
"Oh, you're so cute! Do you have to work to get your head that bald?"
"I couldn't help but notice there was no ring on your finger. Please don't pay any attention to mine.. Oh dammit, *ring ring* i gotta take this....'Oh, hi honey!'"
"Don't stare at his ass, don't stare at his ass, ah dammit!"
"Do you like popcorn? Well that's too bad, cause it's mine!"
"Easy-on-the-Eyes, paging Dr. Easy-on-the-Eyes!"
We went on for 20 minutes doing this.. It was surreal.
My room has become a bit of a refuge for people who are looking to kill some time in their day, so there's me, the janitor and the student liaison officer...All males.. Sitting in the back staring at a small screen with the feed of the class... The class is on a 20 minute break... A really cute young female doctor comes on screen and is just sitting at the front, talking to random students and doctors that walk up.... And for some reason the 3 of us just started mimicking the conversations that we thought might be going on (there was no actual audio..) The janitor did the voice of the woman, and the liaison officer and i took turns with the various males that approached her...
"So, do you doctor around here much?"
"Oh, you're so cute! Do you have to work to get your head that bald?"
"I couldn't help but notice there was no ring on your finger. Please don't pay any attention to mine.. Oh dammit, *ring ring* i gotta take this....'Oh, hi honey!'"
"Don't stare at his ass, don't stare at his ass, ah dammit!"
"Do you like popcorn? Well that's too bad, cause it's mine!"
"Easy-on-the-Eyes, paging Dr. Easy-on-the-Eyes!"
We went on for 20 minutes doing this.. It was surreal.