Weirdest Quest Ever!

[Chessrook44]

So we've all played all sorts of games. Often they give us quests or missions, and sometimes those quests are a little... odd. Maybe the developers want to add a bit of strangeness to the world, or maybe they just think nobody's going to read the quest text.

Either way, my question to you is this: What is the strangest, the weirdest, the most bizarre quest you've ever encountered? The quest that has made you stop and sit back to comprehend just what the f&@^ just happened?

My own choice is in the spoiler below.

Spoiler

In Elder Scrolls Online you stumble upon a ruined plantation, where a running worker tells you she's leaving, and to rescue her former adventure party, who had retired and set up the plantation. Once you do, the leader tells you that running a plantation isn't quite working (and they gave it a decade) and he wants to return to adventuring, and get the other two members to join him in leaving the plantation (the woman left). First you help a Nord, who agrees and has you gather the armor and weapon he buried long ago. A simple task. Then you go to find an Argonian Shaman. Here's where it gets weird.

The Argonian tells you that she cannot join the party, as it has come time for her to confront a great truth that she has kept hidden inside her, that she has told nobody. You ask her what that truth is, and her response is...

"I am not an Argonian. I am a crocodile."

She then proceeds to ask you to go kill a great crocodile in the nearby lands and bring her its heart so that she can enact a ritual to transform herself into a crocodile herself, before telling you she will then help you (while she still has a semblance of memory) in killing the bandit who led the attack that ruined the plantation.

So basically I had to help an Argonian Otherkin become the Crocodile she always was inside. In a legit Elder Scrolls game. That is not a sentence I ever thought I'd say.

 

[Barbas]

Trying to take Sticky to Big Town in Fallout 3 was interesting enough...for the first five minutes.

Spoiler: Are we there yet?

...And then he died under mysterious circumstances in a deathclaw nest.

Not that weird for Fallout fare, I suppose. An even weirder unmarked quest is the one in Oblivion, during which you encounter an invisible troll in the Jerall mountains.

 

[madwarper]

Spoiler

So basically I had to help an Argonian Otherkin become the Crocodile she always was inside. In a legit Elder Scrolls game.

Spoiler

An Argonian that's a crocodile? Everyone knows that in "legit" Elder Scrolls games, Argonians are dogs.

Here's were I would have put a youtube video of Beewos [http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Beewos], but my googlefu has failed me. So, he's a picture of a bad dog.

 

[Cowabungaa]

World of Warcraft got real creative sometimes.

- There used to be a reeeaaaally long quest line in which was basically one big Legend of Zelda reference as you had to find a sword for a dude named Linken. It was fun.

- There's a new quest in which you have to basically be a quest giver. It's hilarious and deliciously meta.

- There's a hilarious quest in which you have to listen to, and re-enact in the flashbacks, the ever-increasingly fantastical stories of a group of people of what they did when Deathwing did his Cataclysm thing.

- At one point you basically have to play a little Plants vs. Zombies minigame for a quest.

And that's only a few of them. God I loved my time with that game.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Probably that one KOTOR quest where you have to fetch Ashley William's sex bot from space bulls.

It was kinda' odd.

 

[CaitSeith]

Skyward Sword: the ghost hand in the toilet.

Spoiler

At night, the academy restroom door is locked at night. If you try to open it, some one on the other side asks you with an spectral voice for some paper (any kind of paper). The next day, Cawlin tells you he has a crush with another student and asks you to deliver a letter to her. But if, after getting the letter, you go to the bathroom at night again; the person in the restroom will unlock the door and let you in to find... no one.

Taking a step closer to the toilet makes a ghost hand to appear out of it and asks you to give it the paper. The next day, when you tell Cawlin what you did, he gets all upset and runs away. From then on, if you visit Calwin's room at night, you'll see the ghost hand stroking Calwin gently while he's asleep, causing him horrible nightmares. It seems the hand read the letter, and it was so moved by it that it fell in love with him, and now it visits him every night.

So now Calwin always has nightmares at night; and they are so perturbing that he wakes up completely tired, too tired to do anything during the day. All because you gave paper to a ghost in the toilet...

Oops.

 

[P. K. Qu'est Que Ce]

I can't remember specifics, but Shadow Hearts had some incredibly bizarre quests, especially some of the higher-tier fetch quests. I remember collecting some kind of vaguely homoerotic playing card to power up a giant gay wrestler, for instance.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Borderlands 2 had some bizzare quests, the one you had to kill yourself and another you had to shoot a random guy in the head.

Ohai, I just saw your quote here...


Kay, bai!

 

[DementedSheep]

Put frogs into a juicer, throw frog juice at poachers, watch them get eaten by drakes.

There is of course a lot of that in SR4 but it's trying to be random and weird so it doesn't really stand out.

 

[FakeSympathy]

In Witcher 3, there's a quest where Geralt has to track down a goat by ringing a chime

 

[CeeBod]

The Fallout New Vegas quest Wang Dang Atomic Tango with Fisto the sex-bot was pretty damned bizarre. Fallout 4's Secret of Cabot House with it's alien artifacts, 400 year old protaganist etc was also kind of different!

 

[Chessrook44]

Put frogs into a juicer, throw frog juice at poachers, watch them get eaten by drakes.

There is of course a lot of that in SR4 but it's trying to be random and weird so it doesn't really stand out.

SR4? Don't you mean Guild Wars 2? Cuz I'm pretty sure that was a quest in Guild Wars 2.

 

[DementedSheep]

Put frogs into a juicer, throw frog juice at poachers, watch them get eaten by drakes.

There is of course a lot of that in SR4 but it's trying to be random and weird so it doesn't really stand out.

SR4? Don't you mean Guild Wars 2? Cuz I'm pretty sure that was a quest in Guild Wars 2.

Sorry I wrote that in 2 seconds and did'nt structure it properly. That quest is from GW2. I meant that Saints Row has wacky quests as well but they do it so often that it stops being weird.

 

[09philj]

In Dragon Quest IX an old lady asks you to bring her a Dangerous Bustier.

 

[FalloutJack]

Well, just as a benchmark, I think the whole of the Oddworld games (especially focused on Abe) counts.

Lately, though, I'll go with some of the stuff I've been doing in Fallout 4.

Spoiler

Two thoughts spring to mind immediately.

The USS Constitution - So, the story goes that a robotic Sentry calling himself Ironsides decided to serve his country by taking an ancient vessel out to sea as its captain and with his own crew of robots. He meticulously reprogrammed them - and himself - to behave as rowdy, stalwart men of the sea. (The Sentry himself sports a captain's hat on his head.) Problem: The Constitution somehow ended up stuck on top of Weatherby Savings and Loans - It was like that when he got there...somehow. - and while his crew HAVE put together the means to get aloft - rocket engines - some important parts are broken and/or missing. So, defend the ship, make repairs, steal back the missing equipment to get them on their journey, and launch the ship...into skyscraper, which the vessel will again become routed, but this was considered progress by ole' Cap'n Ironsides! (There follows a hilarious news report about this on Diamond City Radio.)

The Silver Shroud! - Get within reasonable range of Goodneighbor and you will be treated to number of radio show episodes of an old-style mystery man, the Silver Shroud. Like so many other trenchcoated badasses of the night, the Shroud dispenses justice as he so deems it, namely with a silver machine gun. Talk to the broadcaster of said episodes - a ghoul by the name of Kent - and you find that he wants to clean up the streets and set an example to the rest of the wasteland by recreating the Silver Shroud himself! He's got a gun, but you have to get the costume from a ghoul-infested comic shop where the props exist. Recover them and Kent will suggest that YOU play the Silver Shroud! (Big surprise.) Much hilarity here, as you gain the option to shout out heroic dialogue at your targets before annihilating them. In my case, I also had on sunglasses and a bandanna. Secret identity, dammit!

 

[broadbandmink]

Attack of the Mutant Penguins for the Atari Jaguar seems to fit this topic nicely, although it's perhaps debatable whether it's the actual plot or the gameplay mechanics that could be considered the most "dope" for lack of a better term.

I believe the AVGN has covered this particular game in one of his episodes.

 

[HybridChangeling]

Probably that one KOTOR quest where you have to fetch Ashley William's sex bot from space bulls.

It was kinda' odd.

Dang I was going to say that.

I would have to say the New Reno quests from Fallout 2.

 

[pookie101]

fallout 4 and the whole silver shroud quest line.. weird and brilliant if you stay in character the whole time

 

[Ryallen]

All of the Manderville quests in FFXIV. All of them. No exceptions. My favorite, however, is the one where you have to rub down Godbert Hildebrand with salamander oil.