Weirdest thing you have ever encountered in a public bathroom.

Spinozaad

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Jun 16, 2008
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an annoyed writer said:
Now where the hell was this? It sounds like something that would happen in a third-world backwater hellhole.
The public restroom in a Dutch university. I suspect it was a prank/accident from the Biology department.
 

Mordekaien

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Sep 3, 2010
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I once found Shrek trying not to piss himself and his whole costume. It was pretty hilarious, I must say.
But other than that, and a few times when a girl walked from men's toilettes was all I can remember.
 

Epicspoon

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May 25, 2010
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Vazruden said:
I work security for a club in the city, every hour I have to do toilet checks (male and female). Every single hour I see horrific things, I think the strangest was finding a poo log floating in a sea of brown water in a sink, with a little Union Jack attached to a cockstail stick stuck in it.

Just thankful Im not the cleaner.. D:

I don't care if this is made up or not. This just made my day.
 

Remus

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Nov 24, 2012
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Having worked in retail, the really un-fun days were the holidays where I'd be working the front and a manager would check the restrooms then beckon me to one. Of course I've never been employed as a janitor, just "if you have spare time, clean." Well, on Veteran's day, one of many "get drunk and piss all over yourself' holidays (are there any other kind?), the women's restroom was completely soaked, 200 sq feet of yellow. It took me a good 2 hours to clean it fully, having to take periodic O2 breaks, because it did stink.
 

Trippy Turtle

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May 10, 2010
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The most unexpected was a clean one.
The most horrifying was an army of spiders.
The weirdest has got to be the conversations people write on the walls though. Its like two people having a conversation, but a different person says every line if they happen to bring something to write with in them.
 

Strazdas

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May 28, 2011
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At work we have a unisex bathroom. Whenever a woman is seen leaving you can know its going to look bad. BUty nothing that should be into history books.
In the Mens bathroom (we have unisex and seperate ones, the seperate is closer to me, but if its taken i go to unisex one) the folks tend to leave the light on, so you dont know whether its taken or not, and as the locks havent worked before i even started working, you just barge in. so i saw quite a lot of naked folks, but nothing extremely spectacular. once there was some old guy (think 70+) just standign there, fully clothed, doing nothing. that was weird.
 

Dirge Eterna

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Apr 13, 2013
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Remus said:
Having worked in retail, the really un-fun days were the holidays where I'd be working the front and a manager would check the restrooms then beckon me to one. Of course I've never been employed as a janitor, just "if you have spare time, clean." Well, on Veteran's day, one of many "get drunk and piss all over yourself' holidays (are there any other kind?), the women's restroom was completely soaked, 200 sq feet of yellow. It took me a good 2 hours to clean it fully, having to take periodic O2 breaks, because it did stink.
Ugh I worked at Best Buy for a while and the things people did to the walls and ceiling made me feel really sorry for the managers. They had to clean it up at my store as no one else was Hazmat trained for biological substances.
 

Playful Pony

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Sep 11, 2012
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I pretty much never go in public bathrooms. I HATE public bathrooms, so I avoid them at any cost. If I absolutely have to pee I'll do it as quickly as possible, without touching anything more than I need to. I guess the worst I have seen is when it looks like someone decided that girls can stand and pee too, after which they seem to have thrown toilet paper in random places. I guess my experiences can't get close to others, like I said I do my absolute best to avoid public bathrooms and maybe visit one once a year at most.

krazykidd said:
Edit : i'm one of those guys than pretend that women don't use the bathroom to relieve themselves . Everytime a girl goes into the washroom , i just imagine they go to put makeup on and talk about boys .
My roomie is the same way, and it's highly amusing to tease him about it. I will finish up in the bathroom, and then come out like "Phhew! You should let that be for a couple of minutes..." and he totally freaks out!
 

Fijiman

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Dec 1, 2011
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Most of the actors and techies in the theater at my old high school were always leaving crap in the dressing rooms, but the weirdest thing that appeared in the bathroom was probably a pillow pet appearing on the toilet one day.
 

x EvilErmine x

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Apr 5, 2010
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Well I've never really found anything more horrifying than the odd unflushed log. One thing I have noticed though is that women's bathrooms seem to be on the whole a lot worse than the mens ones. Why is that? I thought we men were meant to be the filthy ones?

Captcha: Ladies, first. (I swear this thing is sentient you know)
 

putowtin

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Jul 7, 2010
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I once worked at a garden centre which got a lot of custom from day trips. One day we were really short staffed so after a coach of OAP?s had left I was asked to go and check the toilets (there were times when the coach tours would leave things behind, like people!)
In one of the stalls someone had created models of penises out of toilet paper and stuck them to the toilet seat.

They were quite anatomically correct.
 

Mr.Savage

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Apr 18, 2013
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I'm one of those people that refuses to use public bathrooms, to the point of almost soiling myself if I think I'll be able to make it back home.

However, many years ago, I had to use a Wal-Mart bathroom.

Only one stall was available, so I quickly entered and locked the door behind me. As I turn round to inspect how clean the toilet was, I was amazed to see the bowl absolutely filled with dead fish of various exotic colors! They were all quite small, but there must have been at least a good 25 or 30 fish in there.

This Wal-Mart had quite a large pet fish section, and I had apparently discovered how they dispose of the unlucky ones.

I did my business as quickly as possible and walked out, I was quite afraid if I flushed, it would plug. Though the thought of a toilet overflowing with colorful fish across the entire bathroom was quite amusing.
 

Total LOLige

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Jul 17, 2009
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I don't particularly like using the public bog, I only go if I can't hold it until I get home and even then sometimes it's physically impossible even though I'm bursting. I'm a sufferer of a condition I call pee fright. So I don't have any wweird stories besides the odd floater. The weirdest was probably walking into the toilets at college and seeing one of the lecturers peeing in one of the cubicles with the door open, the toilets don't have urinals only cubicles. Maybe I'm peeing wrong should I be shutting the door?
 

austinmus4

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Dec 7, 2009
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Some of the weirdest things I've seen in public restrooms are mysterious fluids on the restroom floor, a digital watch left on a urinal, and shit graffiti. Oh and a turd in a urinal... It makes me wonder both why and how. Why would you do it in a urinal, and how/why would you do it knowing full well someone could walk in on you?
 

bluepilot

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Jul 10, 2009
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Dirge Eterna said:
an annoyed writer said:
Don't suppose any of you have been in a bathroom where all toilets are flooded over onto the floor, the door to one of the stalls is broken off of its hinges and laying on the ground, the shit graffiti on the walls and the whole floor is covered in piss, have you? Because I have. This was at Wal Mart, during the night of Modern Warfare 3's launch. I was working that night. Had to hold it in until I got home. Worst 6 hours of constipation ever.
Jebus! I won't even go into a walmart bathroom on a regular day! Thats scary to think about, everyone deserved hazard pay on that night.

I did remember one thing that I forgot. I was at a Chicago Cubs or White Sox game I can't remember which when I was about 11. They have a long trough in the guys bathroom for pissing. Well these 3 drunk idiots decided to bet their friend 100$ that he wouldn't run and slide all the way through the trough full of piss. Keep in mind guys were still pissing at the time. He took the bet and ended up about halfway down the trough before he ran out of momentum. Covered head to toe in piss. Yuck!
Oh, good god, ew.

Well, I lived in Japan, and the toilet seats are heated, play music, and also, after you have finished your business, shoot soothing jets of water to clean your underside. I guess is is pretty weird in a wonderful way but knowing how nice toilets can be, I am now afraid to use public restrooms after returning to Britain.
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Oh boy.

As a kid I used to live out in the bush. We had a bush dunny. ("Outhouse" to the rest of the world.) Oh, and this is in Australia.

We kept a special stick in one corner. We called it the spider stick. It was for poking the huntsman spiders out from under the toilet seat before sitting down, and then fending them off while you doing your business. This was sometimes difficult to explain to visitors.

One time we had a swarm of mosquitoes take up residence. I didn't know mosquitoes swarmed, but these ones sure as hell were. They were festooned on the walls and ceiling, several layers of them, half a foot thick. We're talking full on fucking stalactites made of living insects.

Oh, and there was the incident with a visiting cousin and a berserk wombat. But we don't talk about that.
 

Ymbirtt

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May 3, 2009
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So, that's all creepy and weird and everything, but the men's toilets in the CS department at my university feature a piece of graffiti that says "Toy Story 2 was alright". No justification, no context, just someone decided that they wanted to make their opinions on a film known, and they thought that the best way to do that would be to write it just underneath the bog roll dispenser in one of the stalls of the men's toilets.
 

AlexWinter

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Jun 24, 2009
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The weirdest thing I've ever seen was the bathroom in a really shitty club.

The bathroom was... the fanciest thing I've ever seen in my life.

The weird bit though? The guy handing out towels, soap and colognes.

It wasn't what he was doing... but what he was saying. Here's a list of what I can remember.

"No CK; no BJ!"

"Wash your fingers for the mingers!"

"No spray; no lay!"

He has about 6 or 8 one-liners that he reels off whenever someone walks through the door.

Definitely the most surreal bathroom I've ever been in.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, we had unisex bathrooms at my college and someone had managed to scrawl a triforce in every single one.
 

Bug MuIdoon

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Mar 28, 2013
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I've, unfortunately, had many experiences in public toilets. Most of the post here seems like standard things in my opinion. Fighting, Sex, Drugs and turds in the sink? I think I've been guilty of all of those a few times.

My worst (and I warn you now, it's not pretty or nice to read) would be finding someone with both of her wrists cut, blood pooled all around them. I still have the horrible image of that nice, very clean, sterile white tiled bathroom covered in blood stuck in my mind to this day and still have nightmares about it too.

My most humorous would be at my old job. Now it's not technically a public bathroom anecdote, I still think it fits here though.
It was fairly late at night and only a few of us were still working when the doorbell/security entry thing started buzzing. My boss and I were both equally puzzled to who it could be at that time of night so we checked the monitor/intercom. It was a lady, about 30ish, quite 'well off' by appearance, looking very normal and overly embarrassed. She explained that she was very sorry and realised that this was very out of the norm, but wondered if she could use our bathroom. After a little chuckle we decided to let her in to relieve her embarrassment, and herself presumably. She used the bathroom and came back out five minutes later, thanking us both very much and was quite apologetic before leisurely strolling out
Shortly after she left, my boss went in to the can only to reappear a few seconds later screaming "oh my god". She had shit all over the bathroom, the floors, the sinks, the bin. She had then wrote 'Bastards' on the wall in her feces.


Another time, while I was walking from Lands End to John O'Groats (southern tip of England to the Northern tip of Scotland) I arrived, quite late, in East Kilbride (just outside of Glasgow) I didn't have anywhere to sleep and it was too late to try and find a park where I could pitch a tent. I decided to use a public bathroom, lock the door and stay there until it was light. Only, when I entered the bathroom, lo and behold, there were 3 homeless guys playing a game of monopoly! In the end I joined them and hung out with them for the whole night. Very fun night too

I'll throw this one in for gross factor too. One night at a club myself and one of my good, but crazy friends, went for a piss. In the urine flooded urinal someone had been sick; That sort of sick where you've been drinking lager and blackcurrant and it's all thick and pink. Anyway, I made a dare with him that if he ate some, I would pay for everything all night. At first he was dubious, but another randomer inside the toilet also got on board and added £50 to the bet. Needless to say my friend ate a good handful of it resulting in himself then throwing up, then me and the other guy throwing up.