I don't think that's what they're arguing for. I think they're arguing that you do some of that flirting, and socialising with a person before you ask them out. Because if you just ask them out, you signal the intent that evil described, and you back them into a corner and scare them like Lilani described, and they decide that you are a creeper, which to be frank, is an apt descriptor. Plus, you are basically getting close to them and letting rip with your one and only move which scorches the earth.Smooth Operator said:That is what flirting and dating is for, establishing interest and getting to know the person who might or might not work out. It's not the start of the relationship.
If they aren't interested the matter is resolved right then and there, no dragging it out and people getting offended over how the other person is entitled to one imaginary bullshit or another, how they have been deceived all along, and who knows what else might come up...
If you ask immediately, you're going to be less successful, just because it means presenting yourself as shallow, domineering and intimidating, with a poor understanding of social boundaries. You don't have to be good friends, just hang out a couple of times. Know the person's name, talk, share interests, demonstrate willingness to tolerate each others company/don't run screaming. That sort of thing. Takes all of running into someone a couple of times. Plus, there's an extra advantage. If they say no, and they may, you still have met a person, who you may actually like, and now you have a new friend, which is great. And the wider your social circle, the more people you know, the more people you have an "in" with.