"Well That Didn't Take Long"

[SeventhSigil]

Condemned 2.

Okay, so the opening bit seems pretty standard. Think I was a hobo fist fighting other, crazier hobos, because why not, but then things move on to somewhat odder fare. I end up wandering through what seems to be an abandoned building. The lighting is dark, the atmosphere is definitely pretty creepy, and I'm feeling properly tense, but prepared to deal with more crazy people and the supernatural. Come at me, men with axes, knives, pipes, whatever, I AM PREPARED TO DEFEAT YOU! Eye of the Tiger, Eye of the Tiger!

Until I eventually enter a room, take two steps forward, and OH DEAR GOD SOMETHING SMALL, MONSTROUS AND NOT PLEASANT AT ALL IS RIGHT UP IN MY CAMERA SHAKING ME, I CAN'T TELL IF IT'S SCREAMING OR IF IT'S JUST ME MASH ALL THE BUTTONS MASH THEM ALL!

Finally quick-time kill it. Okay. A long breath. A few choice swear words. Shake my head, take three more steps forward...

OH GOD IT'S ANOTHER ONE RIGHT FREAKING THERE IN MY FACE WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING MASH MASH MASH!

When the second one goes down I happen to notice it seemed to have been positioned like it came from above. Look up, see what looks like some kind of spent egg sack, no doubt where it came from. Look around the rest of the ceiling, see there are like a dozen more of the goddamn things in this room alone. Reflect on the fact that this is just the first sodding level.

...nope. I'm out. EYE OF THE FRIGHTENED BUNNY!

 

[SecondPrize]

Why would I need to read any information about the game? I liked Dragon Age: Origins a lot. This was DA 2. That's all I needed, or so I thought. I would have actually played the game if it was Fantasy Game 1, it just didn't come close to living up to its own title.

I guess it's just an alien mindset to me. Even if I want to go spoiler-free, I at least read a little blurb of some kind, or listen to an announcement. Or, like I said, check on the back of a game's box or on the game page.

My major disappointment in DA2 was how underwhelming Hawke felt to me. Maybe I was playing my Hawke all wrong, but it seemed less like she was a grand hero who went out to save the day, and more like she was just kind of there when things happened.

Maybe some legends DO start from "Well this one schmuck was in the right place at the right time" but I was comparing Hawke to the Hero of Fereldan, especially with the trailers harping Hawke up as "Something something DESTINY!" and... I get some schmuck.

I didn't count DA2 in line with the OT, because I got to the final battle of DA2 before my brother left and took his copy of the game with him. So it's not like the game LOST me quickly.

You used to be able to trust that a developer would release a quality game. Up until that day, Bioware games were day 1 buy for me, no questions asked. It was never a very large list of devs I'd do that with but now it's empty.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

Too Human.

It took about 3 minutes of gameplay where I was asking myself "Why does Ocarina of Time, a game from 1998 without a second analog stick, have better camera control and lock-on mechanics than this game?" and realizing that the game was both stupidly hard (due to crappy combat controls and gobs of enemies) and stupidly easy (you respawn with no penalty except watching an overlong respawn animation) and "how is it possible that a game can be both too easy and too hard at the same time dear lord this game really is as busted and unplayable as people have said screw this I quit."

 

[2HF]

There was an old Syphon Filter game on the PS1 I think. I put it in, saw the stupidest running animation I've ever seen, and immediately turned it off and returned that game.

 

[Diablo2000]

There was an old Syphon Filter game on the PS1 I think. I put it in, saw the stupidest running animation I've ever seen, and immediately turned it off and returned that game.

Too bad, game is good... And it has the best Taser ever to be in a game ever. You haven't tased somebody until you tased them enough to make them catch on fire.

 

[Trunkage]

Wasteland 2. Probably 2 hours til the end of the first mission.
Lets set the scene. You have mutually exclusive missions with really negative results for each choice. But its a false choice. There negative effect doesn't really affect gameplay, and their is no positive affect either. I felt like I was playing a TellTale game. No one really talks to you about how you helped, except at the station

Then you remember. You just left a massive installation with plenty of personnel that could have sent a second team to the alternate place. Hell, there are three newbies outside that could have done the same, even if its to hold the line.

And finally, then you remember the purpose of these Rangers, to protect people. And they have totally failed. And you cant choose a different organisation because plot. It just doesn't make any sense, particularly when I've had plenty of people tell me this is a better than Fallout