What am I supposed to do?

[Erttheking]

It...I just feel like this website has pushed me into a no win situation with regard to social issues debates. If I take the side against a more progressive mindset I'm an intolerant sexist/racist asshole, but if I take any argument towards a more progressive mindset, I'm an internet White Knight/ Social Justice Warrior that doesn't really care about the topic but I want to pretend I do to look good. And I just learned that there are people who just get plain frustrated when I try to talk about the subject at all, regardless of my viewpoint. It's just...what am I supposed to do? I have a lot to say on the subject of social issues but more often than not I find myself too scared to say it. I don't want to get flamed, I don't want people to scream that I just want attention, or that I'm farming for badges, it's honestly an issue that I care about and want to intellectually talk about.

Sometimes I think those in favor of the more progressive stuff talked about are right, sometimes I think they're wrong, I don't see it as a black and white situation where one side is right about everything and the other side is always wrong, its why I think we need to have intelligent levelheaded debates on the matter, debates where we actually listen to each other and learn from each other and don't just try to get everyone who doesn't agree with us to shut up. It's a topic I really do care about, but now I feel too scared to make a thread actually talking about it because I feel like everyone is going to jump on me for it, everyone for a different reason. Some people because they think I'm too extreme, some people because they think I'm not extreme, or people who just want me to shut up about the issue in general.

I just...what the Hell is am I supposed to do?

 

[Total LOLige]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The easiest thing to do is just not get involved at all. Or you can give your opinion and ignore what everyone else says, at least you've got your opinion out there.

 

[shrekfan246]

I just...what the Hell is am I supposed to do?

Avoid them entirely.

I understand wanting to get your voice out there, but really, if you're just going to be drowned out by all of the anger and hatred and bile around you, I feel like it would be most sensible to just leave the discussion entirely. It's what I tend to do. It's just not worth it. I can't do anything to actually impact these issues, and the people who vehemently disagree with me are, 99% of the time, not going to change their views or opinions just because of something I said, so why bother?

 

[Able Seacat]

Have a break I think may be a good idea. You're obviously getting a bit stressed which is not going to help. With gender debates at the Escapist being at top of it's wheel at the mo, leaving it fall a bit may be a good idea. Try and involve yourself in something else for a while and then perhaps come back to it with a fresh start. And as frustrating as it is, the internet will always have angry arguments about this sort if thing. Discussion through text is not the best format for debate.

 

[Shadowstar38]

Someone somewhere is going to hate you no matter what you do. The thing is not to let it worry you.

 

[Esotera]

Stop caring so much that people on the internet disagree with your opinions? As long as you're comfortable with your views and are willing to listen to the beliefs of others then everything else is unimportant. It doesn't matter if you're portrayed as a white knight or heartless neanderthal because everyone has some controversial views, and someone will always manage to find issue with something you say on the internet.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I've come to the conclusion here a long while ago that some people don't want to debate no matter how many times they say they do.

They want to argue, and no matter what you say, even if it's a legitimate counter-point, they will throw vitriol back.

I've learned that if and when I enter into a thread that has those kind of topics and I get quoted by someone then I need to figure out if that person just wants to project onto me and argue or if they really want a discussion. If they want to argue then I don't bother because at that point it's practically talking to a brick wall.

So, OP, my advice to you is just to find out if it's worth talking to that person or even quoting them because some people just aren't worth it.

EDIT: Basically, just keep talking about those topics and don't let those people get to you because if they do then they win. And that's not cool.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Someone somewhere is going to hate you no matter what you do. The thing is not to let it worry you.

As hard as it is to go by, I do try to follow that attitude. Depending on the quantity of hate of course. There are limits to what one guy with an opinion should put up with before abandoning the "discussion" and letting their previous statements sit as is.

 

[TWRule]

I'm with the general sentiment of the thread - avoid such 'discussions'.

And I would (and do) avoid them in real life too. Besides, if you don't ground talk about these sorts of issues in something outside of the social/political realm (like philosophy for example), then you probably weren't going to accomplish much more than contributing your voice to a senseless mass of chattering noise anyway. Only by bringing some sense of direction into the discussion, not keeping it on the social/political level alone, can we have a productive discussion. Anyone can submit a weightless opinion, few actually submit a methodology for digging deeper...

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Well yeah, you get assholes on the internet. Whilst just 'not getting involved' is always a safe bet, it does take the piss a bit considering the whole point of internet forums is to discuss things. Just say what you actually feel is right in a non-twattish manner, show courtesy to those who show it to you and fuck everyone else.

Really, if people are going to throw insults your way then just ignore them. The whole issue is just caused by people giving far too much of a shit about things they have no business doing so about.

 

[Angie7F]

You cant make everyone happy. So just, focus on the people that really matter to you

 

[DanielBrown]

I gave up trying to debate on the internet a long time ago. It rarely leads to a conclusion and people can be really fucking annoying and aggressive(especially those that completely derail the topic when they run out of arguments).
Seems like you're way more into sensitive topics than me though, so backing out doesn't seem like an option. Ignore the haters or get prepared to argue like there's no tomorrow!

 

[Adamantium93]

I believe the movie "War Games" has a nice bit of wisdom for this:


The only winning option is NOT to play.

 

[Akytalusia]

infuse no investment. state your position and let any readers take it or leave it as they will. they'll respond positively or negatively depending on their own position, and that's what you should expect. offensive or defensive reinforcement of your position is unnecessary.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Why are you debating? Are you doing it to get your point across, to make others follow your lead?

Or are you doing it to examine issues and learn about them?

If you are trying to learn, not to teach, then it doesn't matter so much, though it's endlessly annoying.

...

Erm...assuming that you're not being an intolerant bigot, or just trying to make yourself look good. Most people do that at least to a degree from time to time.

 

[Foolery]

Yo, king. It was always a 'no-win' situation right from the start. The game is rigged, the only way to win is to not play. Do you honestly believe that anything of worth towards social issues will be accomplished on this site? I don't. That's naïve. The arguments on here have no impact on the real world. So stick to your guns, stop seeking constant approval, and opt out.

 

[Phrozenflame500]

And I just learned that there are people who just get plain frustrated when I try to talk about the any subject at all, regardless of my viewpoint.

Fixed it for you. Welcome to the internet.

Really, if you can't take people yelling at you 24/7, I recommend you stay out of these "debates". They tend to get simultaneously really heated and really retarded within a few pages.

 

[Oly J]

I believe the movie "War Games" has a nice bit of wisdom for this:


The only winning option is NOT to play.

I agree, I've been here a long time, but still have, what many would consider to be quite a low post-count, because I generally don't get involved in certain debates, I'm here because I like games and movies among other media, I'd rather talk about that stuff than any social issues really.

 

[Skeleon]

Stick with your actual principles, argue for them and only take flak from one side?

 

[Weaver]

I just...what the Hell is am I supposed to do?

Avoid them entirely.

I understand wanting to get your voice out there, but really, if you're just going to be drowned out by all of the anger and hatred and bile around you, I feel like it would be most sensible to just leave the discussion entirely. It's what I tend to do. It's just not worth it. I can't do anything to actually impact these issues, and the people who vehemently disagree with me are, 99% of the time, not going to change their views or opinions just because of something I said, so why bother?

Yup, this is all you can do. Just don't engage in them. I do realize it's like 95% of the content on this forum, so you might be a bit bored.

Try starting threads that are more fun?