What can Chuck Norris do?

[TheScottishFella]

This has always fascinated me, what people say Chuck Norris can do. So I want to know what everyone think he can do in one thread, and I suppose it is sort of topical with his birthday in 4 days (Today is 06/03/2011 or 03/06/2011 for you Americans) so yeah 10th of March. So let's go with that.

If you don't care much for Chuck Norris (I will admit he isn't my cup of tea either) still post what people told you he can do.

My favourite my friend told me:

"If Chuck Norris got in a fight with himself the universe would implode with awesomeness."

 

[Radeonx]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

 

[TheScottishFella]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

Holy shit there should be a thread on this guy!

 

[Captain Pancake]

if chuck norris has 5 dollars and you have 5 dollars, chuck norris has more money than you.

 

[rokkolpo]

Make me sandwiches?

 

[emeraldrafael]

Lose a fight to Mr. T and Bruce Lee.

But seriously (well, as serious as a Chuck Norris joke can be), (EDIT: I wanna go with this one instead) Chuck Norris once had nothing to round house kick. He then made the universe so that there would never be a problem again

Dont worry, someone will copy and paste a list.

 

[theonlyblaze2]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

Holy shit there should be a thread on this guy!

GO! Go now and make that thread! He is the greatest man ever to live!

 

[thiosk]

He can put his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.

 

[AWDMANOUT]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

Holy crap! With only a sword and bow? This guy... This guy needs a movie made after him. A freaking good movie.

OP: Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares the grass to grow.

 

[JordanXlord]

Chuck norris does not T-bag people, He Potato sack them

 

[Captain_M]

Chuck Norris can generate all this hype on the internet while sitting in his mansion oblivious to it all. That's impressive.

 

[Valkyrie101]

...write a column?

 

[Wintermoot]

a shorter answer would be what CAN,T he do?
that is be a whimp

 

[taciturnCandid]

Chuck Norris can make B movies

 

[Palademon]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

On the seventh day, God rested and Chuck Norris took over.

 

[jawakiller]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

Holy shit there should be a thread on this guy!

Nah check out this guy...
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/hayha.html

 

[tomtom94]

Ask not what you can do to Chuck Norris. Ask yourself what Chuck Norris can do to you if you glance in his direction.

Also he believes it's not butter and he can kill two stones with one bird.

 

[Verlander]

Nothing, because he doesn't hold a candle to this guy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill].

That dude died on his wedding anniversary, which incidentally is my birthday. RIP, you great, crazy bastard.

We all know Peter Cushing is more awesome than Chuck Norris

 

[darthotaku]

sticks and stones may break your bones but a chuck norris glare can liquify your kidneys.

 

[YouBecame]

He can both have his cake and eat it.