What do I do?

[Sorafrosty]

Right, so right now I am sitting here, crying my eyes out (please don't laugh), as I just got rejected for the second time, by the University I applied to, both officially and during Clearing, due to my unexpectedly low exam results. For the record, the reason they were unexpected is that I usually perform quite well, and get really good results, due to hours and hours of studying and not really having much of a social life apart from a very good friend, and my loving boyfriend.

So now I am quite down in the dumps, not having a University to go to next year, and the prospects of living yet another year in my miserable home. I was going to go to Uni with my boyfriend, and live with him in a house we have rented, and now the prospects of that are looking very grim. I have applied for retakes in November, though Uni does not receive new students until the following September.

My question to you, fellow Escapists, is; what should I do now? I have only one option in mind, really, which is get a job (in Scotland, which is where I would be studying), and move out nonetheless, and retakes and then get into Uni. Can you think of any other options? I am afraid my parents will deny me moving out (though I am of age), however.

Also, would any of you mind sharing your experiences on this matter? I just feel like a complete failure, and a very unintelligent person at the moment, and so some sunshine stories of similar situations would be good.

 

[aba1]

What are you applieing to do somtimes not making it is better than getting in and wasting thousands of dollars. The amount of people I have met who went half way then relized they didnt want to go any further is surprising to say the least and not getting in is ussually a sign that what you are trying to take is very popular and therfore going to be very hard to get a job for.

 

[SiskoBlue]

Don't fret. Uni is not the be all and end all of life, despite the stupid things parents and schools seem to think. Firstly I DID get into uni my first year then bombed out. Ran off with my girlfriend and became estranged from my parents. It was an interesting two years but not one I'd like to repeat. I eventually went back, did a BA, then a Post-Grad, worked, so on. I'm now 38 and in a decent job.

I did learn a couple of things;
1. Uni is NOT for everyone. Right now I'm sitting across from my colleague. He didn't go to Uni but got a job straight out of High School. He worked at a boring insurance company for 8 years then came here. He's 10 years younger than me and on the same pay. So my degree counts for squat when it comes to salary.

2. My boss ALSO did not go to University. He wishes he did but childhood asthma kept him out of school alot. He did some College stuff after High School. He's about 8 years older than me and obviously doing fine, he's my boss.

Now you might think "Ah! But lots of places don't really care about degrees and education, and maybe that's why it doesn't matter to them".... We work in a University, office work. Even Universities don't care if you have a degree or not. They'll respect it but they're not stupid, if someone is good at a job, they're good at a job and you hire them.

3. Getting into University can be extremely difficult or extremely easy. They try to make it fair but there's not a lot of logic to it. People apply, places get filled. The compeitition for some places are high. I'm guessing you applied for a high demand course at a high demand university. There's still plenty of places for low scoring students (I know, I'm in the business).

4. This is tricky, I'm sure you love your boyfriend but believe me when I say very few people stay with the partner they had when they were 18. Life changes very quickly once you're out of high school and maintaining normal relationships is not only difficult but can be very limiting. Your boyfriend gets invited to go on some holiday with uni mates. Are you going to tag along? As scary as going it alone might be, it's the oppurtunity of a life time for you right now. There are a lot of universities out there. Have you considered changing your what you've planned in your head and taking a chance some where else?

5. Taking a year out is no bad thing. After the constant pressure of high school and home life a gap year is a great way of flexing your new adulthood responsibilities and potential. Find out what you really like and get some perspective about the world. If I'd had done that I doubt I'd have failed my first year of Uni.

6. Life is really not that hard. Despite having your hopes dashed we live in very fortunate times. If you want to you can get a job, live cheap, save a bit of money. Move to Spain, get another job. Learn the language. Go to anywhere in the UK, get a job, find a place to live. There are absolutely no rules. It can be hard when you're not used to it but it's actually not that difficult. A bad job here or there, just quit, don't like the people you're hanging around, find new friends. People often feel they have to bind themselves to these things for security. In reality getting by isn't that hard, millions of us do it.

I hope you find your path. Good luck.

 

[Sorafrosty]

Wow, you gave me some pretty great advice there. Thank you so much. I read through it all a few times, and I have now decided what to do, after careful consideration of my options; I have found lots of jobs to apply for, and I will be moving in September, regardless, as I have already a place to live there, and good prospects of finding a job and living cheaply.

Again, thank you so much for those great points, especially number 6 and number 3. You say that these were things you learned, and I am very glad you shared them with me. I will take you advice to heart, and hope I'll learn equally important things in my life, which, my friends inform me, starts right about now.

 

[BigTortoise]

Sisko pretty much covered everything. And don't forget, you have a boyfriend who loves you dearly. That's more than most people can ask for.

 

[Grospoliner]

Never give up.