Hey there. Recently I was browsing through internet comics and ran across a picture of Gabe Newell stuck in a portal.
Like most of you I was sent into a hysterical fit of laughter lasting well into the night by this image and only stopped by the fact that I passed out from lack of oxygen. Okay maybe I just sorta chuckled. But then a thought hit me. Gabe Newell has tons of money doesn't he? At least a hundred thousand dollars per every pound on him right? Maybe more than that. So he could, theoretically, whether through surgery or personal trainers pay to become thin couldn't he? He could become thin by this time next year no problem and we would effectively run out of ways to make jokes about him. So where does that leave us? Like the squirrel before winter we must acknowledge that change is possible, and prepare for it.
And so I pose to you this question, fellow denizens of the escapist... Just what alternative joke sources do we have for Gabe Newell? Just what do we know about him? If you guys would help me out with anything you got, point out something stupid he's done or said, something he's failed to do or seems unable to do. an unflattering physical characteristic or just come up with a joke of your own that does not involve fatness, I'd appreciate it. And maybe feel a little more prepared, should the unthinkable happen. Or we just get tired of making fat jokes. Either way.
Like most of you I was sent into a hysterical fit of laughter lasting well into the night by this image and only stopped by the fact that I passed out from lack of oxygen. Okay maybe I just sorta chuckled. But then a thought hit me. Gabe Newell has tons of money doesn't he? At least a hundred thousand dollars per every pound on him right? Maybe more than that. So he could, theoretically, whether through surgery or personal trainers pay to become thin couldn't he? He could become thin by this time next year no problem and we would effectively run out of ways to make jokes about him. So where does that leave us? Like the squirrel before winter we must acknowledge that change is possible, and prepare for it.
And so I pose to you this question, fellow denizens of the escapist... Just what alternative joke sources do we have for Gabe Newell? Just what do we know about him? If you guys would help me out with anything you got, point out something stupid he's done or said, something he's failed to do or seems unable to do. an unflattering physical characteristic or just come up with a joke of your own that does not involve fatness, I'd appreciate it. And maybe feel a little more prepared, should the unthinkable happen. Or we just get tired of making fat jokes. Either way.
