What do you do with a Drunken Perther?

[Euryalus]

Ok, so this is going to be a round robin game, but I think it'll be more fun if we limit how much each person can add to the story and limit the length to two pages[footnote] Depending on how this goes we'll see what the length should be[/footnote] of posts.

Then we can post the whole story at the start of the next thread if this does well and get either a hilarious or deep OP.

The theme of this post is a guy from perth who gets drunk, but since it's a round robin it can go anywhere we take it..

Spoiler: Rules

Each person writes 1 tweet worth of text (150 characters roughly) then posts it. The OP gets 300 characters to set things up a bit. At the end of page 2 the story will end and we'll post the whole thing together at the beginning of the next thread.

I'll start...

"The wind and rain pelted the shutters as Drumm sat there pondering how he could cope with the news. What could he do? He didn't know how to be a father! These were the thoughts that were eating away at him as he noticed the whiskey bottle staring at him... One more night of fun might clear his mind..."

 

[Aerosteam]

"A mind he lost. Must've dropped it in a well or something. Who's going to help him get it back? Preferably a close friend who is not too far away..."

 

[JoJo]

With shaking hands, he reached for the whisky bottle and craded it like a newborn baby.

"My old friend," he muttered.

Taking a cork screw, he removed the cork with a small pop.

 

[Barbas]

...And placed it aside to add to the brim of his cricket hat later. A wombat ambled past the porch, sniffling at the ground. The bottle was almost empty. It was time to revisit to the shop.

 

[Euryalus]

Looking over at the wombat Drumm felt like he should be polite and invite the creature along. "Cem en Jeff. Jeff right? We're grab sum liker and celbrat my new kidt"

 

[Barbas]

[small][sub]What in the f**k is-[/sub][/small]

-Uh, whu-...oh, right. Um...The wombat stared in total confusion, turned away, tucked in its head and limbs and rolled away down the road.

 

[SirDerpy]

Then a Rolls-Royce came rolling down the road and bumped that wombat's sorry ass into a ditch. He was otherwise unhurt, but then George W. Bush stepped out from the car and looked directly at Drumm.

 

[Drummodino]

"...What da fuck are you doing here Georgie Boy? Ah well, I guess ya can stay if ya brought some grog."

 

[Barbas]

"Pleasure", said Bush. "I, ah, also brought some weed. You, ah, you want some weed?" Drumm shook his head slowly. "Nah, mate. We've been over this. I don't touch the stuff".

And gaily they skipped to the liquor shop.

 

[SirDerpy]

The wombat waddled along behind them, following the gaily skipping duo into the liquor store.

 

[Euryalus]

The trio was almost half way there when suddenly...

 

[SirDerpy]

Too late for James, however. The wombat, seeing the Dirty Cop, jumped up and attached its jaws to funs's shoulder.

 

[Euryalus]

Funs flailed about trying to dislodge Jeff from his shoulder, but to no avail. The wombat held on til Funs bleed out. Finally acknowledging something was amiss with all the reaction time you'd expect of a drunk, drumm looked around and noticed the bodies...

 

[Drummodino]

"Oh bloody hell Jeff, why'd ya go and do that for? Don't tell me ya had a thing for old Georgie did ya? Damn it, now I'm gonna have to pay for me own bloody booze ya stupid mutt!"

 

[Euryalus]

What exactly is a wombat anyway?

Turning towards Drumm Jeff suddenly and with no warning spoke! Her words gravelly and omnious, but in a cute anime kind of way. Like if Sovereign and Hinata had a kid... "Drumm! I'm here to..."

 

[SirDerpy]

Jeff turned away, looking into the distance.

Then, turning towards Drumm, Jeff suddenly and with no warning spoke (again)! Her-yes, it was a girl-words gravelly and ominous:
"Drumm! I'm here to..."

 

[Euryalus]

He ran and ran and ran. It was almost 4:00 in the morning, but he kept on ranning... er running. He needed to make it to the liquor store. He needed coping juice for his new found pain. He didn't know what this business with the invasions or crossbow enthusiasts was, but he didn't like it and he needed relief... He needed... Ah! there! Just on the horizon! Like an oasis in the desert! The cornerstore! Ot was so tantalizingly close...

 

[SirDerpy]

SirDerpy and Barbas walked out of the store as Drumm was ranning, each carrying what looked like ninety-nine bottles of alcohol each in their arms.

Catching sight of Drumm, SirDerpy called out: "Oi, mate, looking for booze? Sorry, me and Barbie here bought out every store from here to Edinburgh. We've got a party tonight, see."

 

[Rabbitboy]

"Hey weren't you kidnaped by illigal aliens or something. Any way wanna trade this beast for one of your bottles? Very tasty on the barbecue for just one bottle it is yours." Drumm responded.

Barbas and SirDerpy were hungry and one bottle was a small price for such a delicacy.

 

[JoJo]

"Don't believe her lies," Barbas laughed, taking hold of the wombat and passing over a bottle to Drumm, "These wombats will try anything to turn us against each other, pffh, clones. Enjoy!"