Best way to have a lovely Sunday afternoon ruined? Go to the grocery store - guaranteed to make me hate my species from top to bottom. Before I begin, I'm female and I'm about to ***** out my gender. Also, in no way is this directed at the infirm of mind or body. Except maybe to the families of the infirm - what the hell? You can't help out your elderly parents or the sick or confused members of your family? Get off your asses and act like you're related!
Alrighty then.
1. Hang up the damn phone. You're there to shop, so shop.
2. The grocery store is not a social club. Make a list, find the items on the list, and move on.
3. The aisles are narrow and filled with over-sized displays. We all know this is to inconvenience the customers and is quite successful. So if you want to read a label or can't find your favorite brand, pull your damn cart over as much as possible. Don't just park it in the middle of the aisle, especially on a popular aisle like cereal or soup, and make the rest of us wait on you.
4. This one could be a bit touchy, but what the hell, this is my rant. If you don't work Mon-Fri 9-5, take advantage of that fact and shop on off hours. Those of us working standard hours can only shop in the evenings or on weekends. We're generally cranky about that fact, so best you stay away.
5. You know those stop signs in front of the doors in the parking lot? That doesn't mean its a good place to hold your high school reunion. It means I won't run you over, as long as you walk at a pace that indicates you are alive.
6. If you can't see the end of your vehicle, don't know how much space it's taking up, can't maneuver it into or out of a parking space in one move (2 if you're backing out - see? I'm reasonable), consider driving a car and a not a damned behemoth suv or whatever those monstrosities are being called now.
7. Remember, no matter how much this hurts, you aren't the only one here.
To quote Bruce Cockburn
Thanks, now back to my lovely Sunday afternoon.
Alrighty then.
1. Hang up the damn phone. You're there to shop, so shop.
2. The grocery store is not a social club. Make a list, find the items on the list, and move on.
3. The aisles are narrow and filled with over-sized displays. We all know this is to inconvenience the customers and is quite successful. So if you want to read a label or can't find your favorite brand, pull your damn cart over as much as possible. Don't just park it in the middle of the aisle, especially on a popular aisle like cereal or soup, and make the rest of us wait on you.
4. This one could be a bit touchy, but what the hell, this is my rant. If you don't work Mon-Fri 9-5, take advantage of that fact and shop on off hours. Those of us working standard hours can only shop in the evenings or on weekends. We're generally cranky about that fact, so best you stay away.
5. You know those stop signs in front of the doors in the parking lot? That doesn't mean its a good place to hold your high school reunion. It means I won't run you over, as long as you walk at a pace that indicates you are alive.
6. If you can't see the end of your vehicle, don't know how much space it's taking up, can't maneuver it into or out of a parking space in one move (2 if you're backing out - see? I'm reasonable), consider driving a car and a not a damned behemoth suv or whatever those monstrosities are being called now.
7. Remember, no matter how much this hurts, you aren't the only one here.
To quote Bruce Cockburn
Thanks, now back to my lovely Sunday afternoon.
